First death....

Don't feel terrible. It sounds like it was her time. Losing patients never gets easter. It always a bummer...unless they were suffering and or in pain. Even then it's still sad.

You called the daughter. That was a very good move. Give your self a break it happens.

I've lost patients who were exhibiting the exact normal behavior they always present and turn around and they've passed. Of course know if you need to do CPR or not, otherwise just prepare the body to be presentable to the family when they get there.

Place chairs by the bedside so they can sit by their loved ones before the morgue picks them up. Which you probably already found out. Sorry you had to go thru it...but it's part of our jobs. (((HUGS)))

Maybe it was her time to die? Without knowing her history, it's hard to say, but it sounds like not too bad of a way to go to me.

At 88, to have a nice nap, a couple of yummy munchies, to have a few laughs, a little chat and for all intents and purposes slip peacefully away seems like a not too bad grand finale.

Beats many of the alternatives, and sometimes when it is one's time, it is one's time. She was sleepy, and she had a little nap, she had a few bites, and by the way you said "she was talking to US" seems to me that she was surrounded by people who took notice in her conversation. That is all very lovely.

May she rest in peace.

At 88, to have a nice nap, a couple of yummy munchies, to have a few laughs, a little chat and for all intents and purposes slip peacefully away seems like a not too bad grand finale.

Beats many of the alternatives, and sometimes when it is one's time, it is one's time. She was sleepy, and she had a little nap, she had a few bites, and by the way you said "she was talking to US" seems to me that she was surrounded by people who took notice in her conversation. That is all very lovely.

May she rest in peace.

Agreed. RIP ma'am.

Sounds like it was her time to die and it happened peacefully surrounded by people who care. Would if have made a difference if her family was there? I don't know.

My grandmother passed a week ago. She had just been cleaned up by staff in the facility. She was just shy of her 90th birthday. I was at work. Her eldest daughter was on her way to visit. My mom was home making literally arrangements to transfer her mother to my mom's home when she got the call. My grandmother passed freshly cleaned up, well cared for, her pillows fully fluffed, and a smile on her face.. Very peaceful. Since we couldn't be there holding her hand, it was the best option available.

Don't feel bad. There was nothing you could do.

That sounds like a lovely way to go. RIP.

Have you ever heard about people getting better to die? There is no research but anecdotal evidence I seen it last week, a man that had metastatic cancer and unable to sit upright for 5 weeks suddenly was sitting up and out of bed, 3 days later he was dead.

That sounds like a lovely way to go. RIP.

Have you ever heard about people getting better to die? There is no research but anecdotal evidence I seen it last week, a man that had metastatic cancer and unable to sit upright for 5 weeks suddenly was sitting up and out of bed, 3 days later he was dead.

This is common with people who are getting ready to pass. The burst of energy comes in all kinds of forms and all kinds of time frames. My step-dad had Alzheimer's and my mom and I were talking and I asked her what he had been up to. She told me he had got a bunch of tools and was reframing the door to his room. I told her to prepare because he was going to pass. 4 days later he passed in his sleep. It was his time...

I remember a lady who had been in a wheelchair since I knew her and one day I was told she had gotten out of her bed and ran down the hall...I told everyone she was going to pass and she passed 3 days later. It's very unusual not to have the "burst of energy" before passing :).

Once something similar happened to me, I too work in LTC and client helped us with taking another client to their room and 20 minutes I was called to say first client had passed away, I couldn't believe it but when I saw her she was curled up in bed and had just gone to sleep. Obviously her time to go and she did a good deed before she went

It sounds like it was just her time, and I also have seen that last spurt of energy right before a patient dies. Was her daughter upset that you did not notify her sooner? I think the patient was blessed to have passed so peacefully with those caring for her. Not much you could have done, she was talking to you earlier, when it seemed like she was talking to herself, she actually could have been having hallucinations. Sometimes whenever my patients said they were seeing angels I would watch them more closely because it gave me the fear that they were trying to pass. Their vitals may have been stable, but sometimes they know way before we do.

What a relatively peaceful way for her! They should all be that way. I'm glad you called the family. It was clearly her time.

Other than a drop in her systolic BP and pulse rate slowing down there wasn't anything that stood out as glaring evidence that she was on the verge of death. With her dementia it's doubtful she could have given you any clues verbally. We all beat ourselves up when someone slips away and second guess what we "missed". In her case it's doubtful you could have intervened in anyway to have a different outcome. Regardless, I agree with the above posters- it was her time and she's lucky that it came so peacefully.