Female Nursing Students Dont like me !

akcarmean, LPN · Apr 22, 2005

female nursing students dont like me !
i am male nursing student . i am very lonely in my class . nobody in my nursing class support me . it seems like they hate me or somethings .
i feel like ..i am in wrong place .
i am start wondering that ...will it be like this when i start working .
they are so competitive and i feel so minority .
please share your feelings
i would appreciate that ...

sorry to hear what you are going through. i didn't have any men in my nursing class; but it was the first class the college had and there were only 7 of us. but out of all the instructors that came and went that year. a man was the best, he was so much informative and explained so much more, reason, rational, and would help show you right there if you were doing something wrong not wait until 2 days later and say oh btw the other day during the drsg change you. blah, blah, blah. if i am doing something wrong correct me on the spot and show me the correct way to do it. i havn't had the opportunity to work with a male since graduation in a nursing setting; but would love to. i feel that everyone there is equal and we are all there for a reason and that is patient care. good luck and keep up posted.

angie

tvccrn, ASN, RN · Apr 22, 2005

I'm sorry you are in this situation and that it's getting you down. But, take heart, maybe these girls are intimidated by you or they don't know how to approach you. Try the things suggested here and see what happens. Men have just as much right being nurses as women do and I applaud your desire to enter in our profession.

The cath lab I work in has only recently been female-dominated. For years it was only male nurses. One of them is the greatest pediatric nurse I know. You can't tell by looking at his demeanor, but when he deals with the kiddos he's a big kitty-cat.

When I am laying on the cath lab table, suffering from chest pain, I want one of these guys there as my nurse.

AngelSpirit · Apr 22, 2005

I'm not seeing a reason WHY you don't like to work with them, except for the fact you just don't like it. Why do you not like it? Why do you not like the idea of nurses that are male?
Not attacking, i just live by the philosophy that if you don't understand something, then ask about it.

I was raised in a very structured environment with a strict caste system. Men have certain roles as do women. I hold to those beliefs and value system. If I changed my beliefs whenever somebody disagrees with me then I don't see how that would be very helpful. I was asked to share my feelings and I did.

lisamc1RN, LPN · Apr 22, 2005

I would suggest that you ask to join a group for lunch, or invite some of them for lunch! Perhaps it isn't that your male that they are reacting to but shyness, withdrawal, or just plain not knowing that you would like to join them! :) I know when I first started it seemed like everybody knew each other or had already formed contacts while I had not. I just started asking if I could join people for lunch. No problem. They didn't know I wanted to. :)

FirewalkerRN · Apr 22, 2005

Hey man, I was one of six guys in my class.......of 180 students. I had a blast and I am not kiddin'!!!

I can't imagine having the problems you are going through. I tend to be outspoken and have fun wherever I go. I am the guy who hosted most of the parties when we needed some down time. But anyway......I am not there to see what is going on. It is hard to say what the problem is.

I would offer you a couple of tidbits:

I don't know if you are trying to scam on the ladies or not, but if you are then don't be that creepy dude.

If you are someone who always has to be the one to answer the questions in class.........and always delaying class to ask some off topic question.......and try to impress by talking for hours......I would try to rest that a bit.

There was one of the guys in our class who was that creepy, know it all A-hole who never shut up. He annoyed the students as well as the instructors and even the Dean.

Again, I don't know you or your personality so don't take this wrong if it doesn't apply to you.

Hope they come around a bit. If not, let 'em hate. Like someone said, school won't last forever but it seems like it sometimes.

Good luck brother!!!

In Edit: Not thinking about the one guy who annoyed anymore.

First of all......I read this entire thread and I want to say a lot of you have some good advice to offer this guy. Lot's of good information.

I agree with the idea that you need to start with one friend. There has got to be one girl out of all of them you could chat with during lunch or help study or something. Perhaps if you do get in good with one of them, then the others may think......Hey, it might be fun to hang out with that guy.

I also agree that one more guy would make a world of difference but what are ya gonna do?

Someone also posted about the guys having it a little easier in class and I would have to say that most of my instructors got along with us very well. We kept it light and aren't catty and don't give a crap if our belt doesn't match our shoes. The girls I work with appreciate me and I honestly have it easy when it comes to getting along with the MDs. I have found that some of the doctors would rather do the "man to man" conversation with the charge nurse/ER nurse.

I would try to be yourself.

Try to make one friend to start with.

If they don't come around, don't dispair!!! The working world is nothing like this.

I have been told several times by my patients that they were nervous about having a "male nurse" but they were pleased at how gentle, kind and caring I was.

There will always be people who don't think men belong in the field but for every one there is probably 100 who disagree!!!

I won't even get kicked off on the earlier post. Jim you made some solid points.

Scott "the male nurse"

Tweety, BSN, RN · Apr 22, 2005

I have read all the posts and have chosen not to reply. I have not advocated in any way that your positions and/or feelings are wrong but at the same time I am not going to compromise my convictions either. The question I responded to in the original post was clear enough and so was my answer. If you don't like my answer then that is your right but I am not going to change my opinion based upon how other people respond to me. I will formulate my own opinion based upon my own experiences and I see nothing wrong with that. I joined this BB yesterday because of a friend's recommendation and posted my first comments today. It was the first post I saw. If I can't remark honestly then I am wasting my time.
And I might add that the OP requested (and I quote) "please share your feelings..." which I did.

I apoligize if you felt my saying I was angry at your post meant I felt you didn't have a right to your feelings or to express them. Please don't take it that way. If you are going to post on a BB, you should realize there are going to be people who disagree. Believe me with 14,000 posts it's happened to me plenty of times.

You do have a right to your feelings. I have a right to respectfully disagree. If I'm going to hold back my feellings I may as well not post here. (But with 14,000 posts, I'm not about to start now. :rotfl: )

I was interested in your culture, since this culture males in nursing has been established and accepted. I see you answered that question to someone else.

Kate11 · Apr 22, 2005

I think guys make great nurses, and I definitely enjoy working with them. Hang in there things will get better - be true to yourself and the other issues will be resolved in time. After you graduate you will hardly remember your fellow nursing students, I graduated in 95, and just found my graduation book and to tell you the truth I had few names I recognized. Study, work hard and move foward. BEST WISHES!!!

Gennaver, MSN · Apr 22, 2005

Female Nursing Students Dont like me !
I am male nursing student . I am very lonely in my class . Nobody in my nursing class support me . It seems like they hate me or somethings .
I feel like ..I am in wrong place .
I am start wondering that ...will it be like this when I start working .
They are so competitive and I feel so minority .
Please share your feelings
I would appreciate that ...

Hi Earthlover,

Hope things get better soon. I also am pretty sure by now that you may have found the male nursing forum here, (if not, take a look). I also want to ask you how long you've been going to school? It might be a big difference if this is your first semester or your third, (people are busy trying to fit in on their own too).

Is there anything that happened to let you know they don't like you? Is it all of them or is it just the catty few who don't like anyone anyhow, (including other female students)?

I really hope that its just a misperception and that all works out, but, if its not and its true that your fellow students hate you, (as my 4 year old niece says-->) "Who cares?" Really, you are working on your future and a few juvenile acting women shouldn't stop you, right?

Good luck,

Gen

p.s. Keep going I say

Gennaver, MSN · Apr 22, 2005

Okay. I will suppose your post is an honest one so I will give an honest answer. I still don't like the idea of "male" nurses but that is just me.

Call it a "cultural" thing but I just can't deal with men in nursing.

I hope I don't offend anyone but that is how I feel.
-AS

Hi,

I read the last few posts of this thread and see that you claim a direct honest answer, and will respect that as true and am not ripping or anything with my post either.

That said, I don't see this as a cultural thing at all. Your profile lists you as a few years older than me so, it can't be an age thing, (if it was we would share feelings and its not a generational-cultural thing.)

Is it because you are from Maryland? Is that the culture? I somehow don't think so.

You list you work in the ER, I don't think the ER culture doesn't like men in nursing.

So, it seems far more to me like a personal issue of yours and not a cultural thing.

However, I am seriously fond of broad minded people and that is a personal preference of mine and not necessarily a cultural thing. See, I would be so uncomfortable with you as my nurse merely because of this. I doubt that it would seriously affect our potential nurse patient experience but, if we were co-workers, it might.

Baffled from Chicago,

Gen

p.s. hope you grow past this one day

redwinggirlie · Apr 22, 2005

We had a handful of male nursing students in my class and all of them were accepted without prejudice. Women, well, we can be strange. Instead of waiting to be invited, why not invite yourself in the conversation or invite a couple of someones to lunch with you? Sometimes, that's all it takes.

Gennaver, MSN · Apr 22, 2005

I have read all the posts and have chosen not to reply. I

If I can't remark honestly then I am wasting my time.
And I might add that the OP requested (and I quote) "please share your feelings..." which I did.

Hello,

Maybe you are not aware that this is also a bully tactic and unkind.

Claiming in just being honest without fully formulating a rounded out response, sarcasm to 'help' while really just mascerading an opportunity to hurt or gripe or belittle or demean is not honest but cruel.

Saying that the OP wanted honest feelings is not sufficient to dump your prejudices and issues like this, imho.

Although, welcome to the forum, I have mistyped and put my foot in my mouth many times, it happens. You are more than one or two mis-spoken posts that may contain immature or innacurately thought out responses.

Having opinions like this is one thing, not using the screen portion of your frontal lobe and sharing them so callously is another.

Gen

p.s. I really like the response of the poster who said, "don't believe everything you think" :)

fab4fan · Apr 22, 2005

I hope this isn't true, but I suspect we are being scammed by the OP. Take a gander at his other posts.

If the post is not a hoax, then perhaps the OP is having trouble communicating with his classmates; his grasp of English is limited. Perhaps others are having trouble understanding him.

Go ahead and flame me for saying this if you want, but it has happened here many, many times, so when I see posts like the OP's, I see red flags.

I apologize in advance if this is a legitimate post, but I do think he would benefit from some tutoring in English.