Female Nursing Students Dont like me !

Fiona59 · Apr 21, 2005

Forgive my rudeness/bluntness, but where were you raised? Saudi Arabia?

I had a classmate from the Sudan, who made it very clear that her hijab had to be worn to clinicals and her arms covered. She also stated that she wasn't comfortable working with male patients. The school just told her to get through clinicals she would have to work with who she was assigned, if her classmates would swop patients, fine, if not its time to rethink your career choice.

Would you turn down a male patient?

MryRose · Apr 21, 2005

You know, I appreciate your honesty, but this is almost breath-taking.
Please try to appreciate how you sound by saying these things. You've said:
1. "I still don't like the idea of "male" nurses"
2. "I don't like working with men"
3. "If I have a choice I will choose not to work with men"
4. "I don't hate men - I just don't like working with them in certain situations"
5. "I just can't deal with men in nursing. It just seems very wierd to me"
I can only imagine the furor if a man said the same things about a woman in any professional field.
Again, while I appreciate your being honest, I can't tell you how degrading this sounds.
Jim Huffman, RN

I agree.... my gasp was actually audible.

LPN1974, LPN · Apr 21, 2005

Please, let's keep to the OP's subject.

He sought out a nursing board to help him evaluate some feelings he was having in school.

The thread started with one subject but another has already entered...the subject of males in nursing and who likes them and who doesn't.

James Huffman · Apr 21, 2005

Please, let's keep to the OP's subject.
He sought out a nursing board to help him evaluate some feelings he was having in school.
The thread started with one subject but another has already entered...the subject of males in nursing and who likes them and who doesn't.

You are correct; this has veered slightly off course. However ...

I think it's really important to confront prejudice (of any type) head-on. I also think it's important that the original poster know that the overwhelming majority of nurses (women or men) don't have some strange bias against other nurses who happen to be different from them.

Jim Huffman, RN

LPN1974, LPN · Apr 21, 2005

You are correct; this has veered slightly off course. However ...
I think it's really important to confront prejudice (of any type) head-on. I also think it's important that the original poster know that the overwhelming majority of nurses (women or men) don't have some strange bias against other nurses who happen to be different from them.
Jim Huffman, RN

And you are correct also.

We have a good opportunity right here to see if in some way we could help combat those kinds of prejudices thru this one young man in his class.

I've always felt that if somehow that these feelings were confronted and dealt with in school that maybe a new generation of nurses would be started where those kinds of feelings would eventually become less and less.

I think instructors should have more teaching on that to help students deal with it.

I can tell this is going to be a hot thread. It has already generated 28 responses.

MryRose · Apr 21, 2005

Please, let's keep to the OP's subject.
He sought out a nursing board to help him evaluate some feelings he was having in school.
The thread started with one subject but another has already entered...the subject of males in nursing and who likes them and who doesn't.

I apologize for getting off topic..... you are absolutely correct.

For the OP, from the wording of your post, I am thinking (maybe wrong) that you are perhaps from a country other than the one in which you are in school.

I have some wonderful fellow students who are Philippian and Punjabi (sp?? on those) and are so quiet that they are not always included in discussions. Simply becuase they are more shy. Several of us have made a point of specifically asking them questions or for an opinion to bring them into our "group". We love them... and once they finally opened up, they are really great about sharing info and hysterically funny with jokes.

You might want to try conversing with a single classmate who seems friendly. Just be yourself, offer to help out as much as you can. Sometimes a helping hand can break the ice.

I wish you the best of luck!

Hugs!

MaryRose

lady_jezebel · Apr 21, 2005

Female Nursing Students Dont like me !
I am male nursing student . I am very lonely in my class . Nobody in my nursing class support me . It seems like they hate me or somethings .
I feel like ..I am in wrong place .
I am start wondering that ...will it be like this when I start working .
They are so competitive and I feel so minority .
Please share your feelings
I would appreciate that ...

I've never witnessed male nursing students or nurses being disliked simply for being male. There were about 7 males in my program, and now I work with about 10 males. No one has ever complained of sexual discrimination, to my knowledge. Nurses on my floor have excellent working relationships -- we talk about this quite often. What you're experiencing is not the norm.

It could be that you are going to school with narrowminded females, OR you are contributing to this "dislike" somehow? First look at yourself: Did you enter the program with some kind of chip on your shoulder? Or do you try to cause conflict in class discussions or clinicals? Just wondering. If not, turn to the program coordinators: describe what you are experiencing. In a non-threatening way, say "I am feeling marginalized b/c of my gender. It is my perception that *blah blah blah*", and then thank them for allowing you to get your feelings out in the open. Ask if there is anything that you are doing to contribute to the friction, and express your desire to problem-solve what is going on. Remain objective (not accusatory), so that no one is put on the defensive. Good luck to you.

lady_jezebel · Apr 21, 2005

You know, I appreciate your honesty, but this is almost breath-taking.
Please try to appreciate how you sound by saying these things. You've said:
1. "I still don't like the idea of "male" nurses"
2. "I don't like working with men"
3. "If I have a choice I will choose not to work with men"
4. "I don't hate men - I just don't like working with them in certain situations"
5. "I just can't deal with men in nursing. It just seems very wierd to me"
I can only imagine the furor if a man said the same things about a woman in any professional field.
Again, while I appreciate your being honest, I can't tell you how degrading this sounds.
Jim Huffman, RN

YIKES! Personally, I love diversity in nursing. We should reflect the makeup of the population as a whole, since these are our patients. We need both genders & all races represented. I don't understand this bias towards women in nursing. It doesn't exist in medicine, so WHY nursing???? It's really sad to read this post.

I work with intelligent, compassionate, thoughtful, critically thinking males. Men who consider the patient's subjective experience of being hospitalized, ie. their feelings (grief/hopelessness often, especially those with cancer), comfort needs, discharge consults, etc... I work with excellent nurses. Men & women who are proud of their professions & really to do their very best for the patients. A good nurse is NOT defined by their gender (or color or sexuality or political affiliation or religious affiliation/lack of or age).

Tweety, BSN, RN · Apr 22, 2005

Okay. I will suppose your post is an honest one so I will give an honest answer. I still don't like the idea of "male" nurses but that is just me. I will also say even though I don't like working with men I try not to let that prejudice my behavior. If I have a choice I will choose not to work with men. If I don't have a choice I try to make the best of the situation. I don't hate men - I just don't like working with them in certain situations. Call it a "cultural" thing but I just can't deal with men in nursing. It just seems very wierd to me and I am not comfortable with it at all. I hope I don't offend anyone but that is how I feel.
-AS

I suppose it o.k. to be so in touch with your feelings. I hope you post some more in response to those who have responded. I see you have one post, so I hope it's not a troll and run situation here.

Yes, I'm offended. But I'll stick to the Terms of Service and speak only of the ideas you offer.

I'm wondering what culture you are from and how old you are. Because in the current culture in the USA, there's more equality and and males in nursing and it's been that way for a long time. This is a serious question.

My guess also is that if you "try not to let...prejudice behavior" affect your nursing, you're not very good at it. Sexism and prejudice should not be a "it's just me...sorry" kind of trait to brag about.

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Apr 22, 2005

Okay. I will suppose your post is an honest one so I will give an honest answer. I still don't like the idea of "male" nurses but that is just me. I will also say even though I don't like working with men I try not to let that prejudice my behavior. If I have a choice I will choose not to work with men. If I don't have a choice I try to make the best of the situation. I don't hate men - I just don't like working with them in certain situations. Call it a "cultural" thing but I just can't deal with men in nursing. It just seems very wierd to me and I am not comfortable with it at all. I hope I don't offend anyone but that is how I feel.

I'm not seeing a reason WHY you don't like to work with them, except for the fact you just don't like it. Why do you not like it? Why do you not like the idea of nurses that are male?

Not attacking, i just live by the philosophy that if you don't understand something, then ask about it.

AngelSpirit · Apr 22, 2005

I suppose it o.k. to be so in touch with your feelings. I hope you post some more in response to those who have responded. I see you have one post, so I hope it's not a troll and run situation here.

I have read all the posts and have chosen not to reply. I have not advocated in any way that your positions and/or feelings are wrong but at the same time I am not going to compromise my convictions either. The question I responded to in the original post was clear enough and so was my answer. If you don't like my answer then that is your right but I am not going to change my opinion based upon how other people respond to me. I will formulate my own opinion based upon my own experiences and I see nothing wrong with that. I joined this BB yesterday because of a friend's recommendation and posted my first comments today. It was the first post I saw. If I can't remark honestly then I am wasting my time.

And I might add that the OP requested (and I quote) "please share your feelings..." which I did.

lunakat · Apr 22, 2005

Female Nursing Students Dont like me !
I am male nursing student . I am very lonely in my class . Nobody in my nursing class support me . It seems like they hate me or somethings .
I feel like ..I am in wrong place .
I am start wondering that ...will it be like this when I start working .
They are so competitive and I feel so minority .
Please share your feelings
I would appreciate that ...

I am sorry that you feel excluded. In my class we have 3 guys. In fact we have thrown baby showers for 2 of them. We are having one this next week for the newest expecting dad! We treat them like they are one of the girls (some times a little too much as we keep saying he is having a baby. We even jokingly said we were going to do fundal checks on him ) In my clinicals the nurses all LOVE the male students. So no I don't think you will have the same problem when you start working. Keep your chin up! They may just be slow to warm up. Realize that nursing school is only so long and when you are finished, will it really matter what they think?