Female Nursing Students Dont like me !

Candidnt · Apr 21, 2005

I had problems similar to yours when I was in nursing school. First time around in my LPN training, I was the only male student in the class (it was the first class of students for this school, and there were only 20 of us). I was never included in anything. People would talk to me, and be civil, etc, but I was never invited out to the gang lunches, etc...until the last day of school, finally I got an invitation. One girl sitting next to me said "you're fun, why haven't you joined us in the past?" My reply was "because nobody ever invited me." For a few seconds, you could have heard a pin drop, but then the ice broke and the last lunch continued. I'm not sure why that was; if it was because I was male, or a yankee in the rural south (that may have played a part), or whatever...but that's just how it was. I got through it.

Later on (much later, in fact) when I went back to get both the RN and BSN in one swoop (as a nontraditional student living on campus, no less). I was frequently an outsider. The majority of students were at or near traditional college age, but there were some older students. There were two fellow LGBT students that I did interact with somewhat more frequently than with the other students (they were both closer to my age, and I guess I was less threatening to them than I was to the str8 male students), but other than that, except for required projects where I was paired with somebody, and clinical partners (I had the same partner for two semesters; I came out knowing more about her monthly cycles than I cared to know), I was pretty much on my own. One friend I had, not only changed majors, but changed colleges (he went from UNCG to NCSU), so that really isolated me. But again, I got through it.

The best advice I can offer you is to just be yourself. If people want to like you and get involved, they will; if not, it's their loss. Concentrate on what matters most-yourself and your future (including your studies). And, don't forget your "ME" time...you know, the time that you put aside that nursing book and do something other than nursing homework...like going to the movies, getting involved in clubs or organizations on campus or school (sometimes that's a good way to meet people), finding a neat coffeehouse or hangout that you can become a regular at (that's what helped me get by).

Take care of yourself. Best of luck to you with your studies, I'm sure you'll do well.

LPN1974, LPN · Apr 21, 2005

Female Nursing Students Dont like me !
I am male nursing student . I am very lonely in my class . Nobody in my nursing class support me . It seems like they hate me or somethings .
I feel like ..I am in wrong place .
I am start wondering that ...will it be like this when I start working .
They are so competitive and I feel so minority .
Please share your feelings
I would appreciate that ...

Gee, I'm sorry, too that this is happening to you.

I've always been a "loner" myself.

I'm single now, and live alone, and like it extremely well.

But you are young.....I checked your profile.

Like the other poster said, be yourself, and look for other outside interests besides school. Don't worry much about what those other students think.

It's not what they think that matters anyway.

Are you the ONLY male in the class? That can be really difficult. If you just had another male it could make all the difference.

I just don't know what else to say, except you can always come here to this board to sound out your feelings, and you will always find support.

Keep posting, to let us know how things are going for you.

Alot of times you can find solutions to problems, here on this board. You have alot of experience and wisdom to draw from here, so don't be hesitant at asking for it. Someone always willing to lend an ear and give advice, even if it is online.

And do NOT give up. Nursing school won't last forever, and you will have many opportunities when you start to work, for other contacts, friendships, etc. JUST HANG ON!

QMA_David · Apr 21, 2005

I think what your going through is pretty common. However what you will find at least what I found working with almost all women all the time is that you become "one of the girls" :chuckle . You will know the exact start date of all your co-workers periods. You will know what stupid thing her husband mummbled in the middle of the night and so forth and so forth and so forth :chuckle MOST IMPORTANT HOWEVER is you will meet some wonderful people with the biggest hearts in the world. Who will listen to exactly everything you have to say and support you anyway they can. Just make sure its the right people, ones whom all support each other and don't backstab, unfortuntly thats a reality also........Goodluck and hang in there.

CarVsTree · Apr 21, 2005

Female Nursing Students Dont like me !
I am male nursing student . I am very lonely in my class . Nobody in my nursing class support me . It seems like they hate me or somethings .
I feel like ..I am in wrong place .
I am start wondering that ...will it be like this when I start working .
They are so competitive and I feel so minority .
Please share your feelings
I would appreciate that ...

Come to my school, we love our boys! :)

pediatriclpn · Apr 21, 2005

We had two men in our nursing school class and we had a ball with them. One was voted our class president. I think they became to know more about our monthly visits our relationships with our husbands, and the cute things our children did than they probably ever wanted to. But I think it prepared them more for getting out there in the nursing world than if we had ignored them. Hang in there and hopefully someone will decide to get their nose out of their butt and become friendly! :coollook:

Dixielee, BSN, RN · Apr 21, 2005

WAY back in 1973 when I graduated, there were only 2 males in our class. Both had been medics in the military and both wanted to go to anesthesia school. I don't really know how they felt, but I always felt they fit in as well as anyone. The program was pretty rigorous, most of us were married and had jobs so there was not a lot of outside activity with any of us.

Now, fast forward 31 years, and sometimes as many as half the staff in ER's where I work are male. The comradarie is incredible! Each of us draw on others strengths and try to offset weaknesses. I am happy to have males working side by side with me. Having more males in nursing has helped increase the salaries and safety. I would like to see more men take the nursing plunge. I have had male and female supervisors, charge nurses, etc. and in all honesty, think the males have a more fair and balenced approach to things, less hysteria so to speak.

That said...maybe you should do a little more to break the ice. Don't wait to be invited to participate in conversations. Start them yourself. Maybe the "girls" feel that you are the one who is aloof? You said they are very competitve, maybe they are intimidated by you? I don't have those answers, but sometimes you have to go the extra mile to break the ice. Pick out someone or several who you think you can approach and begin some non threatening conversations. You may mention what you have said here, that you feel like an outsider and would appreciate any suggesstions as to how to change that.

All women are not chronically bi#chy, but some are. Avoid them! I do. Good luck. We need you and more like you. Hang in there and be yourself.

Edited to add additional thoughts....(advice from Mom),viewing your profile, I see you are my sons age, still young. You probably just don't understand women yet, I think you have to be over 40 before that light comes on. My husband says that once he realized that women were not out to get him, he was able to enjoy us! Men and women view things from completely different angles, and have different agendas. That is OK, viva la difference! Are there any older males in your class that you can confide in? He may be able to help you "understand" us better. Have you ever read the book, Men are from Mars, women are from Venus? It offers an on target assessment of the differences. Maybe you should pick it up. It will help you understand "the other side".

Sheri257 · Apr 21, 2005

Nursing school can be like kindergarten. At a certain point, you can't let it get to you. These people aren't worth the trouble.

A lot of students don't like me either, even though I'm female ...

Because only me and one other student did our clinical assignments, and the rest of the group blew it off. And ... shock ... they got negative performance reviews in their student records.

They actually were mad at us for the doing the work because we "made them look bad". They actually expected us NOT to do our assignments.

Seriously, who cares if these people like you or not.

I don't have the time for it.

:coollook:

z's playa · Apr 21, 2005

I'm preeeeeeety sure no one hates you. Are you waiting for them to come to you? Maybe you should just go up to them but I know..easier said than done. Are you first year? Many of the female students are probably really young as well and stick together. As you advance in clinicals and stuff, and your peers grow up a bit...the acceptance level should even out.

Or move to Canada....and keep me company..I'm a girl and I STILL feel left out sometimes :chuckle

Z

AngelSpirit · Apr 21, 2005

Okay. I will suppose your post is an honest one so I will give an honest answer. I still don't like the idea of "male" nurses but that is just me. I will also say even though I don't like working with men I try not to let that prejudice my behavior. If I have a choice I will choose not to work with men. If I don't have a choice I try to make the best of the situation. I don't hate men - I just don't like working with them in certain situations. Call it a "cultural" thing but I just can't deal with men in nursing. It just seems very wierd to me and I am not comfortable with it at all. I hope I don't offend anyone but that is how I feel.

-AS

snowfreeze, BSN, RN · Apr 21, 2005

I can relate to what you are going through but not in nursing school, just being the different one. When I finished high school, I went to farrier school. I was the only female in a class of 20. I was 18 and many of them were in their mid 20's. I was considered a 'pass around' but never slept with any of them. I graduated 3rd in the class and never looked back. I had my own business for 15 years and did well with corrective horseshoeing as I live in a fairly high income area, fixing the horses problem was much more acceptable than sending him to the killers.

That 3 months of isolation was not one of my best memories of my youth. That was in 1975 and we were close to the Martinsville VA raceway, I was never asked to go to the races with the guys nor was I included in study sessions in their dorm. I had a whole dorm the size of theirs and I was the only one in it. Simular to military, big room full of bunk beds. Many spent a lot of energy trying to come to my dorm for a 'date'. But I was there to learn not make dates.

jeepgirl, LPN, NP · Apr 21, 2005

Okay. I will suppose your post is an honest one so I will give an honest answer. I still don't like the idea of "male" nurses but that is just me. I will also say even though I don't like working with men I try not to let that prejudice my behavior. If I have a choice I will choose not to work with men. If I don't have a choice I try to make the best of the situation. I don't hate men - I just don't like working with them in certain situations. Call it a "cultural" thing but I just can't deal with men in nursing. It just seems very wierd to me and I am not comfortable with it at all. I hope I don't offend anyone but that is how I feel.
-AS

I think you're wrong.

I think men are just as good at being nurses as women.

Actually, the best nurses I have ever worked with are men. They have a knack for being professional even the hardest of situations.

There's nothing wrong with a male nurse. Give me one (even in OB!) any day!