Family members that follow you

evolvingrn, BSN, RN · Aug 13, 2011

Sure its annoying...lol i usually do find a place to chart where im harder to access...but i find there is usually some underlying anxiety that needs to be addressed. I don't mind people coming out to ask me a me question but if its even for the small stuff that aren't emergent if im busy i try to set some boundaries and let them know that i have a few other things i will have to do first.

anotherone, BSN, RN · Aug 13, 2011

love when i go to the desk to page a dr over something important (we use text pages) and the crazy family mmember follows me there and starts complainign about how we "must be so busy" ont he computer etc. ahhhhhhhhhi want to tell them I am paging a doctor about a issue that might result in a rapid response not playing world of warcraft. ahhhhh

Gold_SJ · Aug 13, 2011

I'm in a super small ward. So I'm more the 'You'll often find me at the desk feel free to come asks questions. Or you can press the green buzzer and I'll come to you' (When there's only one nurse, it is SO much easier to be spoken to in hall/desk/kitchen/playroom etc then have to stop what I'm doing (Preping bottles, doing restocking, notes) to go bedside for often irrevelant queries. Like does the volume go up on the tv? Or do you have some colouring pencils? Of course they are aware not to enter other patients rooms.)

This is a completely different kettle of fish however in a busy med/surg ward, I'd want to throttle someone by the end of the shift if chased around all day. I'd feel like I had my own personal stalker XD

CareteamRN70 · Aug 13, 2011

I work in a subacute/rehab wing in my LTC and needy family members are par for the course. I have had them follow me and I refuse to answer questions at the nurse station, in the halls, or throught the bathroom door (yes I had a family member follow me to the bathroom and knock on the door to ask me a question about their mother's labs)

My ace up the sleeve is HIPAA.

I always educate the family that I, by law, can not discuss any facet of their family members dx or tx in a public place and that I will round back to the room to answer questions after x amount of time. The only time this has caused trouble is when other nurses "will" discuss pt's in public placed with family and the family throws that back at me. I always stand firm, I may not be the "favorite" nurse they remember but I hopefully I will be the nurse that get's remembered for being able to round "all" their pt's.

Also for the family that want magic nurses (appears 2 seconds after family request pain meds, a pillow, a soda etc) I have lost mytemper a few times and it amazes me some family member's are immune to sarcasm. I chalk this up to concern about the ill family member, but some days I have to wonder.

Family: What took you so long in coming back with that sandwich, new batteries for his remote, different color gown because he doesn't like blue, four additional sandwiches for me and his nephews..don't you nurses care at all about other people!?! I would also like a complete copy of his chart, he needs pain meds, and do you think you can bring me some tylenol I have a headache from waiting!

Me: I am sorry you had to wait, I was on another unit and got stuck with one of "those" families...no consideration for any one else in the world and loaded me down with a bunch of silly request that ate up a ton of time I could be helping all my patients.

Family member: Oh I am sorry to hear that, I hate people like that, now about those sandwiches, we don't like white bread withe crust not cut off.

eyeball · Aug 13, 2011

It has been my observation that the amount of time a family member spends pestering the nurse is inversely related to the functionality of the relationship between said family member and patient.

Too funny and too true! I've seen this a lot.

BaltimoreHon, BSN, RN · Aug 13, 2011

I had a family member who actually followed me into other patient's rooms because she said we did not answer the call bell quick enough.

Dezy · Aug 13, 2011

I had a family member who actually followed me into other patient's rooms because she said we did not answer the call bell quick enough.

I have to know your response :eek: what did you say?!?!?!?! What can you say in those situations!

Dezy · Aug 13, 2011

I'm in a super small ward, 9 bed ran by one RN. So I'm more the 'You'll often find me at the desk feel free to come asks questions. Or you can press the green buzzer and I'll come to you' (When there's only one nurse, it is SO much easier to be spoken to in hall/desk/kitchen/playroom etc then have to stop what I'm doing (Preping bottles, doing restocking, notes) to go bedside for often irrevelant queries. Like does the volume go up on the tv? Or do you have some colouring pencils? Of course they are aware not to enter other patients rooms.)
This is a completely different kettle of fish however in a busy med/surg ward, I'd want to throttle someone by the end of the shift if chased around all day. I'd feel like I had my own personal stalker XD

I just know this will happen to me lots. Where I work now (I work at a Ymca gym and work as a fitness coach I know it's not even comparable but...) I happen to be walking around the building out of uniform because I'm not on shift I still have people asking me to do stuff. Even if I'm in the middle of working out. REALLY? SERIOUSLY??? WHY DOESN'T ANYONE HAVE COMMON SENSE OR CUTESY!!!! (I usually bite my tongue and do whatever they need)

I gotta know how you politely handle said situations!!! :uhoh3:

allnurses Guide · Aug 13, 2011

Interestingly, when a family member of mine was hospitalized, I actually thought it was rude and degrading of me to use the call light, so I would go out to talk to our nurse personally. I didn't know I was being a pain in the butt - I thought I was showing her respect instead of expecting her to answer to a bell (per se). I know better now of course! And I NEVER followed one into another patient's room, or even followed one at all for that matter. That just seems obvious.

As far as the nagging questions, it sounds like his anxiety is out of control, that he is social inept or just plain bored.

JeneraterRN · Aug 13, 2011

There are also those that find any nurse available with nine million questions about their family member. There was a son of a swingbed patient that flagged me down three times over an issue that had been resolved (though apparently not to him). I told him every time that I was happy to find his nurse since he was the one who had been handling his case all day and to please use the call light if he had further issues. To the best of my knowledge, the issues with his father's diet had been resolved, which I told him. I think he really just wanted to gripe.

nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN · Aug 13, 2011

When I have a patient's family member like that, I give them something to do. I tell them to fan the patient, or that a patient feels better if they have lotion applied to their legs (far away from my IVs, thank you). When one of them wants me to do it, I tell them the patient responds better when touched by a family member. When they ask tons of BS questions, I get a stack of pamplets and put it on the computer. Ask me a crazy question, get a pamplet. Another question, another pamplet. Then if they ask again, you ask if they read the pamplet (I've even sat them down to watch videos). The busier you keep them, the more they stay off your back.

tokmom, BSN, RN · Aug 13, 2011

It has been my observation that the amount of time a family member spends pestering the nurse is inversely related to the functionality of the relationship between said family member and patient.

No kidding! The ones that had the horrible relationship for years are suddenly trying to fix things at the 11th hour.