Family members that follow you

[prettyinblu]

Nurses I really need advice on this one! During my 7a-7p shift I had a family member that would not use the call light! Everytime I looked up he was standing infront of me with the " I just have a quick question" So after about 4hours of this I decided to chart in a room. Who finds me........ he does! I even educated him thinking maybe he really doesn't know how to use the call light! At the end of my shift I thought to myself, other nurses experience this as well( I hope lol) I hate when family members feel the need to follow you instead of using the call light or just flat out ask a million questions!

[opossum]

Would you be allowed to come out and say " I'm sorry but I find it difficult tending to the pt whith you standing over me and taking notes on my every movement." ?

I think that's a reasonable thing to say...but I can just imagine the repercussions of saying it - i.e., having the family member get all huffy and insist upon speaking to a manager, and mentioning my name negatively in the comments section of the follow-up survey...that sort of thing. And if they throw a fit, maybe I can point out how that in itself is taking time away from the patient, etc. (assuming this is all over "fluff" and unnecessary hypervigilance, not legitimate patient concerns).

But I will certainly keep that statement in mind next time I feel crowded by a family member

[nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN]

as a pt, her complaints were thoroughly blown off...because she was terminal???

bottom line...there are times that families will pester staff for a reason.

and sometimes, families really DO need to be listened to, and heard.

just saying.

leslie

Blown off because they were terminal!?! Oh, Leslie, I'm so sorry. That's horrible. I do work with hospice on the side, and you never, ever blow off a patient's complaint of pain or GI tract issues. We've got 2 pages of standing orders where we can manage symptoms. I'm flabbergasted at the way you and your mom were treated. When I've got someone like that in ICU (not wearing my hospice hat), I pitch a fit to get docs to address those kinds of problems -- sometimes they will, and sometimes they act just like that nurse did, but I always let the patient and family know I'm trying to get them some help.

[TrafalgarRN]

Are there no visitor policies on the floors? Visitor policy has been my number one fight against so called family members. In my ED we have a 1 visitor per patient policy for adults and both parents for pediatrics. The only exceptions made are for terminally ill patients where i can let as many people depending on room capacity.

But when it comes to the "stalking family members" first rule is i will enforce the visitors rule and kick everybody else out of the room. It sucks when they have been there for hours and the previous shift never did anything and they are rowdy asking for food, juice, blankets e.t.c. I know you came in for abdominal pain but why do you have 10 members in the room. And i happily ask them to choose 1 person who wants to remain in the room and the other 9 have to walk out. Then i explain the plan of care to the patient and their visitor; show them the call light and also find out what else i can do before i leave the room; i politely tell people that i have other patients to check on. I don't give time frames because i don't want to be quoted. An example is our lab; some days they are good and within 30 minutes they have the results while on other days it will take over 1 hour.

Some family members will hover over to the nurses station and i will politely ask how i can help but at the same time i will ask them to go back to their rooms because of privacy issues. Those who ask too many questions i will answer what i can that's related to the patient..No i wont answer anything about your aunt Marie because i don't know who she is. And as usual my accent is cute and i am from blah!!blah!!!!! but this is not a social call and lets get back to you the patient. And for those with the notebooks...i am sorry but i don't have time to discuss every vital signs with you. If they are abnormal i will let the doctor know...sorry you can't be asking me about them every minute....you are writing everything down so you definitely have some knowledge so don't bother me. And no camera phones allowed by the bedside and in the room; go outside if you have to make a call. And for those who attempt to follow me ; please stop stalking me and if you try that one more time i will have security kick you out . And your behavior determines how we treat you...you are rude to me and my co-workers..and then you need a sandwich...nope we don't have one for visitors but we can so you where the vending machines are...no we don't have warm blankets for visitors...these are just for patients.

[southernbeegirl, BSN, RN]

{original quote Jenni 811

{I had a family where the patient's son had a notebook. he took down EVERY note in that stupid little notebook. I mean everything! Doc and I were listening to lung sounds the son was like "what do you hear" and the Dr was like rhonchi (attempt to throw him off) he looked at me "how do you spell that".

I mean EVERY FREAKING detail was written in this notebook. Every med I gave he asked me every question he could think of, "If you don't know the answer is it really safe to be administering this med"

I just wanted to rip that darn notebook out of his hand and destroy it!}

Sounds like that son was very anxious and afraid for his loved one and wanted to make sure everything would be all right. This vigilance is to be admired even if it feels intimidating. I would just try to reassure him and explain and educate as best you can.

You feel so helpless when your loved one is sick! I've encountered too many times with my loved ones when they are sick and slowly dying, all your knowledge and all the knowledge in the world isn't enough to save them. That is the saddest thing when all you want is to find a way to make them well and it's not possible. The best you can do sometimes is just try to make them as comfortable as possible and spend all the time you can with them while they are alive, creating wonderful memories of the time you have left with your loved one. Those memories will comfort you when they have passed on to heaven.

Never place work above your family and loved ones. Work is fleeting, your loved ones are the ones to stand by you threw thick and thin.

:rolleyes:

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

oh, bugsy you got us. we're all ole meanies who have no idea what it's like to be a patient or a family member of a patient. why none of us have ever had to rush our kids to the er or keep vigil at our parents' icu bedside or visit a loved one in a nursing home. we had no idea what it was like, and we're all soooooo grateful to you for pointing it out to us! thank you!

[Nurse SMS, MSN, RN]

Worry about one's own relative does not excuse violating the rights of other patients who have THEIR own relatives. Monopolizing the nurse's time and following the nurse into another patient's room definitely falls into that category.

[avionics]

I got to see a strange side of this as well, about twelve years ago my mother had to get an emergency hysterectomy done. She had been an LPN for many years and really knew her stuff, medically speaking, and usually got along with nurses well; so it shocked me that when I visited, I walked in on her verbally tearing apart and threatening one of the nurses, then kicked the nurse out of her room.

I felt terrible over this, but my mother was too PO'ed to explain it to me even. I went to another nearby RN to apologize and get what happened and the other RN couldn't stop laughing about it. She said my mother was right and the other nurse was the most "incompetent and ornery bi*** that ever worked in a hospital" and needed to get straightened out like that when she screwed up. I was kinda shocked...

When I picked up my mother she was getting pats on the backs and congratulations from all the staff who had heard about it. :yeah::yeah:Aparently this particular nurse was not well liked to say the least...

(Later mom explained that she flipped out when the nurse tried to give her another patient's meds by accident. When my 45 y/o otherwise healthy mother questioned the sudden new drugs which included blood thinners and heart meds...the nurse just told mom to "just be quiet and take your pills", she blew up and wouldn't let that nurse in her room again.)

[sistasoul]

i had a family where the patients son had a notebook. he took down EVERY note in that stupid little notebook. I mean everything!! Doc and i were in the room and the doc was listening to lung sounds, the son was like "what do you hear?" and the doctor was like "Ronchi" (attempting to throw him off) he looked at me "how do spell that?"

I mean EVERY FREAKING detail was written in this notebook. Every medication i gave he asked me every question you could possibly think of. "If you don't know the answer, is it really safe to be administering this medication?"

I just wanted to rip that darn notebook out of his hand and destroy it!! ugh.

Appears to be looking for a lawsuit..