Ever had a nursing instructor hate you?

[bustthewave]

Heeeey, so I'm in a weird situation. I just started my beginning nursing fundamentals class, of which I have enjoyed and been excited. We start clinicals at a nursing home in about two weeks! I'm always 15-30 minutes early to this class, which is 6 hours long and no break 3 days a week.

So apparently I've rubbed one instructor the wrong way. This is actually the first time I've had an instructor for any class not like me. She basically told me, almost word for word actually, that I am the least pro-active person in the class, and I spend too much time talking to my friends in the back.

I dunno, I was sitting in the front, but they decided the class was talking to much so we all got switched around. Then I got sat beside this girl who constantly wanted attention and to argue (which might of got me in trouble as she would talk to me, and then yell at the instructor for telling her to stop)... then to save myself I moved to the back to avoid that girl, where people wont stop talking.

Gawd I feel like I'm 5.

So she's a nursing instructor, and I'm going to have her for 2 more years most likely. Any suggestions on how to deal with this? Is it appropriate to pull an instructor aside and say "hey, I think we got off on the wrong foot."?

I dunno... I just don't want to be talked down to like a child for the next two years by this instructor, and I don't really know how to make the situation better, and I feel like it's going to be a basic life skill I need to develop or something... sigh...

[germanshep]

OMG-I had the SAME thing, my former fundamental instructor. She was relatively close to my age, a control freak and jealous because I was more educated. She was AWFUL and one of the worst professors I ever had.

I had read other posters sought out advice from the program directors-that is great you had that support. I did not.

You have great advice from other posters. I would learn as much as I could from other sources (different books, different edu websites, youtube nursing skills clips, etc) because she is impacting your learning in the classroom-you are more self aware after this situation. Ask your advisor if you could have a different schedule for next semester so you could try to avoid her.

I found that awful nursing professors stuck together and gossiped so much sure she is not gossiping about you to other professors (mine did) because she gave me a BAD reputation that stuck with me until I graduated.

You can prevail. Do not let one bad professor let you down. Good luck!

[OldNurseEducator]

Just out of curiosity...is this an PN or RN class?

[steelcityrn, RN]

Too much stress enough in nursing school than to worry who likes you. Just focus on school and your grades. In the end that person will see you are going to be a good nurse. REDEMTION!

[sunnycalifRN]

I'm surprised no one has mentioned this yet. Do not arrive late for class. That is a good way to put a big "Kick Me" sign on your back. When I was in nursing school, only 5 years ago, more than 3 "tardies" and you were kicked out of the program.

[bsyrn, ASN, RN]

Talk to your instructor privately and ask for some suggestions on how you can improve. Be nice and genuine...you might be suprised at the response you get. Good luck

[RNfaster]

I agree with folks that suggest talking to the instructor privately. I also think it's a good idea to ask to be moved forward in the seating arrangement. I would do everything you can to be on her good side. Document stuff, but realize that if you must use that documentation, it could backfire (if administration is unsupportive of you and supportive of the instructor) and also increase your stress (by focusing you on the negative and not on the positive). I'd try to work things out with her first. You might also try, as another suggested, to not be placed with her in future assignments. Hopefully, things will iron out later in the semester.

Good luck!

[S.N. Visit, BSN, RN]

Oh Yes, I had two med surg clinical instructors absolutely hate me. To this day, I still don't know why. I sucked it up, did everything they asked and passed. Biting my tongue during the last face to face evaluation with the two who hated me was the hardest thing to get through. I was told by one "I feel that I failed you from becoming a good nurse & you are narrow minded." My second CI told me that "if I go into mental health after graduation instead of Med surg, I would be throwing away everything I learned and I wasted 2 yrs of her time. " They made my clinical days hell, but i survived. I am however thankful that the majority of my instructors did like me. My point is you are not alone. Hang in there. Do what you have to do to be a survivor.

[NightOwlNurse]

This situation is clearly not fun for you. It is, however, useful education. When you start working as a nurse, it is more than possible that some one will take a dislike to you for reasons that do not primarily come from you, or what you have or haven't done, but rather from who they are, and what they think about themselves, or from what they are going through, or from what past experiences they have had with people who remind them of you (etc.).

Bosses, coworkers or patients may make 'like/dislike' decisions based on factors that have little to do with you personally. On the bright side, the reverse is also true: Some times bosses, coworkers or patients may feel quite positively towards you for reasons that have little to do with you personally. It's human nature.

There is no "one size fits all" solution for the times that human nature rains heavily on your parade. All the suggestions already offered in this thread are tools to consider using. Also consider assessing your situation, learning as much as you can about the person involved, seeing if you can figure out where her sentiments come from (be she right or wrong). While you are doing this, I'd join the posters here suggesting that you try hard to fly under the radar, and ensure that you go above and beyond to avoid doing/not doing anything she has specifically mentioned to you as points of her concern. I would also observe carefully to find out what kind of student she DOES seem to act especially positively towards. Once you have a handle on where she is coming from, what she likes, what sets off her fears or anger, you can decide if its worth it to you to do whatever it takes to bring her around.

Perfect grades would be great. On the other hand, passing all your classes and having sources who will give you positive recommendations when you apply for your first nursing job is essential. Honestly, this may not be a winnable scenario if "Having her give you perfect grades" is your bottom line. There are some people that just won't be swayed.

That said, if you can fly low, and learn from your experiences with her how to better handle this kind of thing when it comes up after you have graduated, you will have created your own long term winning scenario.

I did have a nursing instructor hate me. She tried hard to keep me from passing her classes, when all my other instructors were giving me top marks. I tried several different approaches to deal with the situation, and I was able to figure out a lot about what made her the way she was towards me. I took an honest and hard look at myself, and polished up a couple areas in my performance that didn't reflect my absolute best. I never did win this instructor over, but I learned a lot in trying, and that learning has helped me deal with things down the line: I now almost never get "fired" by the patients that fire just about all their other nurses. I've been able to turn around a couple of co-worker interactions that started on the wrong foot. You can't win them all, but you can usually improve outcomes, and you can always learn things that may pay off down the line.

Best of luck. Treat yourself extra well when this instructor is down on you, if she stays that way. Surround yourself with people who support you, who know what a fantastic nurse you are, and who appreciate you for being honest when others might fudge a bit. Pat yourself on the back for caring enough to insist on being certain you are learning to do things the right way, even if it means you have to pay for it when you shouldn't. Keep your eyes on the horizon, and the long term goals you have for yourself.

This challenging learning opportunity may help you acquire priceless skills along the way.

[cheska_rn, ASN, RN]

I feel you!!!

I am in my Med Surg II clinical, and I am convinced my instructor HATES me. I have NEVER had a teacher dislike me, and for the most part they seem to really like me. I have had teachers not even look at my work and say "I know you did a good job", and give me an 'A' off the bat (this, by know means, has stopped me from working hard).

Upon the first meeting of my instructor she said to me (after finding out my name), "Well, you are not what I expected". I kind of laughed and asked her what she was expecting, and she said she wasn't going there. WTH?? Okay, so I know I have an ethic name, but I am in fact melanin deficient, but... that's not my fault, right?? Argh!!

So, then.. on the first day of clinical I was giving a pt a proper bath, and she went off about how slow I was (and went on and on). I was just doing it the way we were taught (washing upward to promote venous return), and she just grabbed the wash cloth and started scrubbing the guy in a fashion that was definitely not taught in class (lol).

Okay, so, that was like an hr of her berating me for everything that I did wrong in her eyes (but was right w/the way we were taught), and then she told me to go help another student discharge her pt (I already knew the pt has already left), and I told my instructor that they had left already and she screamed at me "Who do you think you are telling me how to do my job!?? I hate ppl like that!!!". WTH????? I honestly just simply said "Jane Does pt just left".

Later that day (yes... the nightmare continues), she asked me to help another student w/a pt (she didn't say the students name) so I said "Who's patient", and she said "It doesn't matter who's patient it is!!!". I KNOW THAT and that wasn't why I was asking!! Omg... So, later that day we were running out of time and I was trying to finish something and she said "Well, if you didn't waste all your time on your smart mouth you could of probably got it done". (???)

I left clincals in TEARS and cried for two days. I have NEVER been treated like that. Nursing is a second career for me, and I have always been successful, and have rarely had a problem with people in general, so I have noooo idea what has set her off. I had another clinical since then, and thankfully I got to spend the day in dialysis (away from her). Saturday is another 12hr clinical w/her, and I am not looking forward to it!!

Sorry, I didn't mean to make this post about me, lol, but I just want to tell you I know what you are going through!!! It is sooo frustrating, but we have worked hard for this, and we can't let this bring us down!

[canesdukegirl, BSN, RN]

Something to think about: When I was in nursing school, an instructor always seemed to be on my case, giving me the hardest patient assignments, and very critical of my written work. At the end of the semester, I found out at our grading conference that she rode me so hard because she thought I was very intelligent, and expected a lot out of me--more than some of the other students. Before that conference, I would have sworn up and down that she hated me. :) I was rather flabbergasted, but she actually liked me and would (after the class was done) talk me up to other students and teachers.

I'm telling you this because perhaps that little meeting with your instructor might clear the air and any misconceptions that you have about one another.

OP, this is great advice. I also had a clinical instructor that I thought hated me because she rode me like a freaking government mule! After a particularly harsh reaming in class one day, I asked her at the end of class if we could talk privately. She was all for it, and I thought "Great, now she is going to tell me that I am not cut out for nursing and that I should save my tuition money and get into another line of work." I walked into her office with sweaty palms and she said, "Have a seat." as she closed the door. GULP! She said, "Canes, you are one of the brightest women I have ever taught. You have life experience that puts you in a different category. I am calling you out all the time because I know that you will have read and researched what we are discussing in class. You NEVER speak up. This puts you at a disadvantage because you are not willing to share your thoughts, and nursing requires both the knowledge AND the confidence to speak up in a clinical setting. I am challenging you because you will face this in the real world of nursing and I think that you lack the conviction and the confidence in your knowledge to say something when it is clear that you must."

Wow. I didn't think about that. She was totally right. A meeting with my instructor dissipated any stress that I had in thinking that she was just "out to get me". We met on a regular basis after that and she worked with me on the issues that I had with confrontation and confidence. This proved to be more valuable to me than any text.

I would encourage you to meet with your instructor to clear the air for both of you. This can only lead to a better understanding of the expectations that BOTH of you have for one another. Do not sit back and be REACTIVE. You are now challenged with being PROACTIVE. It will serve you well.

Best of luck to you!

[ComeClarity]

I feel you!!!

I am in my Med Surg II clinical, and I am convinced my instructor HATES me. I have NEVER had a teacher dislike me, and for the most part they seem to really like me. I have had teachers not even look at my work and say "I know you did a good job", and give me an 'A' off the bat (this, by know means, has stopped me from working hard).

Upon the first meeting of my instructor she said to me (after finding out my name), "Well, you are not what I expected". I kind of laughed and asked her what she was expecting, and she said she wasn't going there. WTH?? Okay, so I know I have an ethic name, but I am in fact melanin deficient, but... that's not my fault, right?? Argh!!

So, then.. on the first day of clinical I was giving a pt a proper bath, and she went off about how slow I was (and went on and on). I was just doing it the way we were taught (washing upward to promote venous return), and she just grabbed the wash cloth and started scrubbing the guy in a fashion that was definitely not taught in class (lol).

Okay, so, that was like an hr of her berating me for everything that I did wrong in her eyes (but was right w/the way we were taught), and then she told me to go help another student discharge her pt (I already knew the pt has already left), and I told my instructor that they had left already and she screamed at me "Who do you think you are telling me how to do my job!?? I hate ppl like that!!!". WTH????? I honestly just simply said "Jane Does pt just left".

Later that day (yes... the nightmare continues), she asked me to help another student w/a pt (she didn't say the students name) so I said "Who's patient", and she said "It doesn't matter who's patient it is!!!". I KNOW THAT and that wasn't why I was asking!! Omg... So, later that day we were running out of time and I was trying to finish something and she said "Well, if you didn't waste all your time on your smart mouth you could of probably got it done". (???)

I left clincals in TEARS and cried for two days. I have NEVER been treated like that. Nursing is a second career for me, and I have always been successful, and have rarely had a problem with people in general, so I have noooo idea what has set her off. I had another clinical since then, and thankfully I got to spend the day in dialysis (away from her). Saturday is another 12hr clinical w/her, and I am not looking forward to it!!

Sorry, I didn't mean to make this post about me, lol, but I just want to tell you I know what you are going through!!! It is sooo frustrating, but we have worked hard for this, and we can't let this bring us down!

Wow, that CI sounds horribly unprofessional. I mean what does she expect - if you've never given someone a bed bath before, of course you're going to be a little slow. I was terrified and slow as molasses the first time I gave a bed bath to a patient (never gave anyone else a bath before in my life besides my dog, lol). And that comment about you "not being what she expected" because of you having an ethnic-sounding name is bordering on racism. I'd say to report her to your dean, however, she may try to retaliate against you.

[backatit2]

i think sometimes no matter what a good student you are (i'm a college grad who took a CNA course) there will always be people you just don't mesh with. for example, my CNA instructor didn't seem too thrilled about me - she never said anything outright, but she'd chat and be friendly with the others in our small group and rarely speak to me. i was always on time, willing to work, etc. one of the girls in our group was ALWAYS late and i mean like ten mins. late every day and she'd say things like, "it can be hard when you have little ones" bc the girl had 2 kids. umm, i have 2 kids also and not only did i finish college but i showed up ON TIME even when both of my kids had strep throat. i digress.

looking back i can think of a couple reasons she may have not taken to me - one time in particular i was putting on gloves after she told me to help move a pt to a bedside commode. she said, "you don't have to do that for this" and i continued to put the gloves on. i know a lot of ppl don't ALWAYS wear gloves, but all it takes is one time of sticking your hand into something you're unsure of to make you an avid glove-wearer. i don't care if i'm helping someone put stockings on, I AM wearing gloves. she may have seen this as condescending. i'm not sure.

either way, if you know you're a good student, i think you're right - it just may not be a good match. i wouldn't just let it go if you know you have to deal with her for the next couple of years. maybe you could ask to meet with her privately and clear the air. there could be a misunderstanding - something as simple as what i mentioned - and you can clear it up and move on. good luck.