Ever had a nursing instructor hate you?

[bustthewave]

Heeeey, so I'm in a weird situation. I just started my beginning nursing fundamentals class, of which I have enjoyed and been excited. We start clinicals at a nursing home in about two weeks! I'm always 15-30 minutes early to this class, which is 6 hours long and no break 3 days a week.

So apparently I've rubbed one instructor the wrong way. This is actually the first time I've had an instructor for any class not like me. She basically told me, almost word for word actually, that I am the least pro-active person in the class, and I spend too much time talking to my friends in the back.

I dunno, I was sitting in the front, but they decided the class was talking to much so we all got switched around. Then I got sat beside this girl who constantly wanted attention and to argue (which might of got me in trouble as she would talk to me, and then yell at the instructor for telling her to stop)... then to save myself I moved to the back to avoid that girl, where people wont stop talking.

Gawd I feel like I'm 5.

So she's a nursing instructor, and I'm going to have her for 2 more years most likely. Any suggestions on how to deal with this? Is it appropriate to pull an instructor aside and say "hey, I think we got off on the wrong foot."?

I dunno... I just don't want to be talked down to like a child for the next two years by this instructor, and I don't really know how to make the situation better, and I feel like it's going to be a basic life skill I need to develop or something... sigh...

[BanoraWhite]

I had a lot of biased teachers at my school...If you didn't blantantly kiss up to the teacher then you were invisible.

I failed one class..the teacher never had time to help me or tell me what I was supposedly doing wrong...the only time she talked to me was to tell me what a "shocking" student I was and how I disapointed her...

I took the class again with a different teacher who was lovely and supportive...I passed with the highest mark in the grade and went on to tutor the other students who failed..

I handed in the same assignment as I did for the first class I failed to the second class (with the teachers permission of course).

My first mark (with the biased teacher) was a Credit.

The second mark (in the new class) was a High Distinction..

Makes you wonder doesn't it..

[SalineFlush]

A class that is 6 hours long with no break? Sounds like hell on earth . I suffered through 3-hour long classes with two 10 minute breaks and thought it was miserable. Don't miss Nursing school at all, no sir.

[HangInThere, BSN, RN]

Your teacher is sending a message across to the class. By disrespecting you and treating you unfairly, she is telling the rest of the class that she is the one in power. She feels disrespected by students who talk during class, and unfortunately has identified you as the main culprit.

Could it be as simple as that?

I'd speak to her privately and explain that you too are distracted by students talking in class. Apologize for anything she has interpreted as a disrespectful to her, almost as a representative of the class would do so.

Tell her that you know you have a lot to learn and that you are determined to do well in her class, whatever it takes. And, ask if you can change your seat, if that feels right to you.

[HangInThere, BSN, RN]

Oh, and smart students intimidate insecure teachers. It's a good lesson to learn before going on the job because smart nurses intimidate insecure supervisors. But we all have to get along!

[gemimi]

Isvalliant is right on target. FLY UNDER THE RADAR AT ALL TIMES!! If you have a question, find the answer out by asking another student or research it, if you ask the instructor they figure you don't know your assignment, if you ask a nurse in your clinicals they go to your instructor. If your instructor thinks you are doing "too much" of ANYTHING you are screwed so kiss butt and then haul it. You may not fail in HER class but the chances are the next semester you will as they all work together ~ especially in Med Surg which is famous for failure rates because so much of your grade is up to the instructor's disgression. I have another degree (first) and it was NOTHING like praying my way through nursing school. Do not, repeat do NOT get on an instructors wrong side or you're screwed ~ may not be by that instructor but one of the others will help her out so that you have no complaint to follow up with ... good luck and have fun. Been there, done that, wouldn't do it again for the world but I DO love my career choice.

[merrywhiterose]

Yes. I had a clinical nursing instructor that was buried in private problems, working, and trying to get her master's degree. She only taught 1-2 young white females and made everyone else sit and do paperwork the whole night. She didn't get along with me because I'm older than her. From what I've heard from many people, this instructor has ALWAYS been this way, yet she's still a clinical instructor!

[SkaterGurl]

keep your head down, your mouth shut, and toe the line lol! We had to do that for our last clinical. The CI scared the bejesus out of us! It's over now and we are through with that CI and hospital, and it really was a good learning experience. Scary, though.

[MollyLPN]

So most people are failing, and I'm getting mid level B. My general GPA is 3.3 at the moment, and I got a 4.0 last semester.

You probably won't have to deal with many of the other students soon, as they will probably fail out. This will cause fewer students in the class, and more attention drawn to you. This may or may not be a good thing.

I was hated by two of my teachers, one really badly. It had nothing to do with being the student they really thought was best, and so held to a higher standard. No, they hated me. The students who were snarky, bad attitudes, were late, got poorer grades, they liked and often praised to me. Oh, and most cheated. I never did.

Teacher #1

I was put on clinical probation for having shoes that were not white enough, even tho most of the class (and the teacher's shoes) were darker than mine. She did this "just because she could" and would keep extending the probation even when I followed her instructions exactly (and even more). Clinical probation for shoes! She laughed and said she liked tormenting me and didn't like me and didn't think I should become a nurse. I was the only student she ever put on probation. There was no reason for probation from my performance, so the shoes were her excuse to torment me. Half the class failed out grade wise in that time, some left because of her cruelty and mean remarks. She was disliked by all students, but they were relieved that she usually went after me the worse, and left them alone. She would say she was angry that she couldn't get me to fail out grade wise, even though she made the tests harder and weirder. She would tell me to stay after class/clinicals a lot, just to have me wait in the hall for almost an hour, before she would deign to even speak to me (to again, tell me how bad I was, never a word of praise). She particularly enjoyed berating me in front of patients who were unable to speak, sometimes reducing them to tears. Family members would ask why she was so mean to me, it was that obvious. I spent a lot of time comforting people for the abuse she gave me in front of them! She constantly told me in front of the class how stupid I was, and how she 'hated my face'. During my final review for that class, she told me she tried to fail me, she didn't like me, but was forced to pass me. (No 'you're really my secret best favorite student here' story I"m afraid.)

At the end, and patient told me she asked her to make up something against me, to kick me out. The patient told me she talked negatively about me and was scary hateful of me. The patient, a retired RN, defended me. My teacher just said to me: "I don't understand why patients and staff like you so much."

Follow up: I did a background check on this teacher and found out she had been arrested rather recently for domestic violence against her own elderly mother!!! Also domestic violence situations were common in her family, which was very bizarrely enmeshed and entwined with each other. So while she was being vicious to me, she was being vicious in her domestic life. I believe she is a sociopath. How she still has her license and teaches is a mystery to me.

Teacher #2

She also ignored me, except to tell me how stupid I was. She made it a point to choose me to do clinicals with (the other students got the nicest, more helpful instructor). The other students in my clinical were the 'mean girls', the ones that were catty from the get go. This teacher would often praise them, even though they were late, got low grades on test, or even no call/no show. She made it a point to publicity praise them while putting me down. She would let them do cool things on clinicals, but I was "too stupid" to do anything but bed pans.

One day I had enough. I challenged her to document every time she helped a student with a procedure. She did. Every student but me had had plenty of opportunity to do procedures. Me? Nada. Nothing. She still didn't help when it was obvious I was ignored in favor of the popular students. She started having the students be the supervisors of other students, except for me, as I was too stupid (again that word) and always was the supervised one, always by the mean girls who hated me anyway. What fun!

The RNs I would work with often praised me to her, about my attitude, work ethic, and compassion towards patients. She would tell them they were mistaken. (I loved those RNs)

At the end, about a month before graduation, the teacher told me I should quit, I should never be a nurse. My skills were terrible. "What the skills that nobody ever would work with me on?" I asked. This was right before the computerized standardized testing that shows the knowledge of the entire program. I went and took the test in fear, anger, and tears. I scored higher that 99.99% of the tens of thousands of students who took the test. I took it and showed it to her. She harrumphed again. Never a word of praise from these women. Her favorite, "good clinical" students had to do a lot of remediation because of their low grades.

Her background check came up clean.

***

What helped get me through this was how much the RNs and other staff helped me. They were awesome, and I got to help with many procedures and gained so much experience while teachers were off helping favorite students do things. They were so kind. Words can't express my gratitude for them.

I also had a brief stint with a clinical teacher that was not associated with the regular program, who was helpful, kind and also validated my smarts and good work.

I worked hard at my grades. I'm convinced how high they were kept me from being kicked out, it would be hard to justify doing so. And I prayed. Oh, I prayed.

At the end, when I was convinced I was failing, I finally just started being a bit mean right back at the teacher. I would just roll my eyes and walk away, no matter what she said. I was done with the little game. Ironically, this is when she started telling me what a better student I was, and how I was improving.

I would roll my eyes and walk away, even at the praise. I was so done. She never did give me a final review, and I didn't care. I got my diploma and walked away from that place. That time was the most difficult, painful time I have ever had. I truly did not know people could be so awful.

****

My advice is study hard, let your grades be strong. Know your stuff. Ignore the talkers in class. And pray. A lot. Understand, to the fiber of your being, that just because someone has the label of instructor, doesn't mean they're good at it. Or you have to take their opinion as gospel. Treat the patients like gold. Treat the staff well. Help them out whenever you can. Take care of yourself, physically, emotionally, spiritually.

Believe in yourself, even if nobody else does! You can do this!!!

Oh and do background checks on the teachers. The internet is a wealth of information, some of it shocking.

[HangInThere, BSN, RN]

What sites do you recommend for background checks? That is such good advice! Thanks.

[kgh31386, BSN, MSN, RN]

Oh I was told by one "I feel that I failed you from becoming a good nurse & you are narrow minded." My second CI told me that "if I go into mental health after graduation instead of Med surg, I would be throwing away everything I learned and I wasted 2 yrs of her time. "

My quoting is messed up and it will only let me quote 1 person at a time..so here's the first. This doesn't sound like hate, it sounds like them being very critical and giving you a fair evaluation..what's the problem with that??? Is it what you wanna hear? No. Is it hateful? No. Take some criticism without being on the defensive

[kgh31386, BSN, MSN, RN]

Oh, and smart students intimidate insecure teachers. It's a good lesson to learn before going on the job because smart nurses intimidate insecure supervisors. But we all have to get along!

This, I'm not so sure about lol. Smart students intimidate insecure teachers? I would think if a teacher is insecure, they'd be happy to have some smart students who may be able to teach their classmates. Or the teacher would have less to worry about if some of the students can stand on their own 2 feet. You take that intimidation idea into the workplace and lemme know how it goes.

[kgh31386, BSN, MSN, RN]

OMG-I had the SAME thing, my former fundamental instructor. She was relatively close to my age, a control freak and jealous because I was more educated. She was AWFUL and one of the worst professors I ever had.

This would be an example of "I think I know how to read everyone around me". Sure some instructors are better than others, but really? Jealous because you're more educated? Arrogance makes everyone seem jealous of you, not to say you are.