MollyLPN

I am so happy to read that this has turned into a positive experience for you by asking for advice and using your own wonderful insight to figure out what you need to do. Getting a nice clinical instruction changes a lot too, so I'm glad you had that experience. Congrats on passing the class with flying colors!

kittah (love the name, btw), my school was considered to be the best in the area. There were several LPN schools in my area, and this one is considered to have the highest standards. It received a prestigious state award while I was there (that none of the other schools got). One time in clinical, students from another area school showed up and they were told to leave by the hospital because we were the school they wanted most there. I heard that often from staff at the places we went that our school was considered the best. But I didn't research enough: some of the postings about my school stated it was known for a lot of drama, with students in the know choosing to go to another school that had a slightly less stellar reputation and more compassionate and helpful teachers. So I'm glad it's over, I passed (unlike so many others), and I did get the good education that I sought. I just wish I had more teachers I actually could have gone to for advice, instead of just trying to be invisible and surviving. Thriving would have been so much more productive.

Youtube was such a blessing to me! I watched videos over and over, and practiced so many different things. For bedmaking I practiced on my own bed, and would even have my husband lie in it (or my poor stuffed teddy bear, who ended up being the recipient of many procedures). Also, if your teacher is approachable, politely ask how you can do better, or do you need tutoring (your school might have tutoring). She may help you, or send you to be tutored but mostly this goes into showing her you're proactive and not reactive with your learning style.

Your Micro teacher is an abuser. The nursing professional field in teaching seems to be loaded with them (even though, as noted by previous posts, she's hardly a nurse). I read somewhere that theorized it comes from nursing starting in a military war like setting. I guess the military is famous for tearing you down, and then building you up. Some seem to forgo the building up part. I had one teacher who was, in my humble opinion, a sociopath.* She told me constantly I would never graduate, I would never be a nurse, much less a good one, etc., ad nauseum, etc. She did everything she could to get me to quit (my grades were far too high to fail me). She singled me out in clinical almost every single day for abuse so horrific even the staff and patients noticed it. She was the worse to me, bad to a few others, and another student in my class confided she was considering suicide because of how awful she felt about herself (she is now working in a hospital where they love her, and today we joke about how what that teacher tried to terrorize us with mean nothing in the real nursing world). I met another former student of hers that had to go to therapy while she was in her class. The stories go on about her in particular and some other teacher in general. (This was not about trying to build the best nurses ever, this was nothing noble at all, just pure abuse.) I bet there are plenty of other students (former and perhaps present) that have stories about your micro teacher. Just because she is a teacher doesn't mean she's a good one! Hopefully you will meet some other students and validate your reality. It's her, not you, believe me. How can I say that? Because let's say, even if you were just awful with the microscope, she would 1. express her concerns in a profession manner, which she did not, and 2. try to help you. Oh yeah, 3. she knows a microscope will mean nothing in real life nursing. But she knows you don't know that, and she uses your lack of knowledge against you. Your school has a 30% graduation rate. So did mine. So it's likely this teacher is not the only abusive one you will experience (I had two). Build your support system, keep your grades so high that failing you over something as trivial as handling a microscope (or maybe a wrinkle in your uniform, which is my story) will seem absolutely ridiculous to justify. Believe in yourself, rely on your supports, and if you believe in a higher power, pray. Don't give up, you can do this! Don't let the bully win (and remember bullies often target the sensitive, intelligent person who will make a great nurse)! This will also heighten your gratitude for the great teachers you will have, and the wonderful staff at the clinical settings. At least that was my experience. *When I finished school, I ran a background check on this teacher. (Hey they do that to us, right?) She had a rather messy recent (within 5 year) history, including domestic violence charges against her elderly mother. So this woman has some serious mental issues, and I can't believe she is a nurse and teacher. And the sad thing is, is that she is firmly entrenched in that school, and is probably terrorizing some poor student, who is turning to her for help and guidance even as I type this.

You could go to vo-tech school to become an LPN, then bridge to the RN program. Some schools such as community colleges have a LPN-RN bridge program, and Excelsior* college has an LPN-RN bridge online that is accepted in Florida. If you go to a public LPN school, the tuition is quite reasonable. Also I've heard that RN school is easier for those with the LPN background. *Make sure it is the real Excelsior, not a front that pretends to be them, but actually is a front to sell books. Real Excelsior: http://www.excelsior.edu/ Also you could get your CNA quickly, while not paying much, gives you very valuable experience in the medical setting, which makes PN school easier, and also is a huge advantage in looking for a job after graduation. Good luck and study hard!

Thanks for responding, I think you have a good point.

Thanks for responding. I need to get a job before I can start RN school (I plan on Excelsior). I have to start bringing some money into my family. I thought that these certifications would help me get a job in home health or something. Nobody seems too interested in new grads, this might be a boost. I'm also doing volunteer work.

I just started by finding out her information on the state license site, then Google. I placed her name in the police records, and also real estate records. There are sites and services that do background checks too, but I decided not to go there. Once I found out about her arrest, and the charges, I didn't pursue much more information. I had the case record number and could have found out more, but I didn't. I didn't want to possibly cross into stalker territory. I just wanted to find out if this person was as irrational and possibly emotionally ill in her private life as she was professionally and towards me. I needed some validation that I wasn't going crazy, or being paranoid and sensitive, and I got it. Mostly, I needed to know that her opinion of what sort of nurse I was going to be was an opinion to be respected. And anyone that harms an elderly (or any) person is not the sort of person I would respect. That knowledge really set me free. Some other posters here noted that once one teacher doesn't like you, they talk to the others, and if it's a small school (as mine was) that can harm you. So it became a domino effect. I think that's what happened with the other teacher, she didn't have a criminal background, but she was easily influenced by other opinions, a trait I saw manifested in other situations involving her. So she listened to the other teacher's opinion, read my write ups in the file, and prejudged me. (Two other clinical teacher who weren't affiliated with these women was very approving of my clinical skills, both saying I was one of the best in the class, which helps validate this theory.) So she wasn't emotionally ill like my first teacher, just emotionally weak. A big difference. So anyway my point of this is that I don't go running around doing background checks on people willy-nilly, but in this case, with someone who was really off center, it sure did help me to understand what went on. That knowledge helped to heal.

I was thinking of taking a phlebotomy class to increase my knowledge and employable skills. In my state a LPN can draw blood if she's certified. I called the school and they said that they give the training to make me eligible for the certificate, but they don't provide the clinical experience. I must do twenty 'sticks' in order to be certified. I asked her where I would do sticks, and she was rather vague, saying maybe I could go to a testing clinic and ask them. Hmmmm...I think of liability issues and such, and wonder about that happening. "Hey I'd like do draw blood on your clients, hows the insurance company with that?" But I was thinking maybe volunteering with the local blood bank. Or maybe a home health agency would hire me and I could work with a nurse there to get the sticks. (But then, everyone wants the golden "one year of experience" and I'm a new grad.) Or maybe this isn't a good idea, and this school just sells these classes knowing their students won't get the clinical, and the school will get their money anyway. I dunno, what do you all, more experienced nurses have to say? Also I plan to take an IV certification course from another school, I will be certified after that class. So I will definitely take that. Should I just take this class?

Maybe you should let your school know right away. It is on record and if they find out from another source, and not you first, it won't look good. I know we were required to report anything like that immediately. I had an arrest many years ago, was very honest and upfront about it on my application, and had no trouble with the school or getting my license. A couple of my classmates had much more recent arrests and were honest, and also got their licenses. And get that lawyer! You don't want to wade through this without good legal advice, what may seem 'logical' legally sometimes isn't. Your area might have legal aid of some sort, if money is an issue. I also like the advice about the anger management classes, if your lawyer thinks it's a good idea, do it. In some ways, it doesn't matter if you're right or wrong in the altercation, it's showing that you are being proactive about proving you'll never repeat that mistake again. Part of that is eating some humble pie at times, right or wrong. 'Cause anyway, you don't want to ever make that mistake again! Good luck to you.

You probably won't have to deal with many of the other students soon, as they will probably fail out. This will cause fewer students in the class, and more attention drawn to you. This may or may not be a good thing. I was hated by two of my teachers, one really badly. It had nothing to do with being the student they really thought was best, and so held to a higher standard. No, they hated me. The students who were snarky, bad attitudes, were late, got poorer grades, they liked and often praised to me. Oh, and most cheated. I never did. Teacher #1 I was put on clinical probation for having shoes that were not white enough, even tho most of the class (and the teacher's shoes) were darker than mine. She did this "just because she could" and would keep extending the probation even when I followed her instructions exactly (and even more). Clinical probation for shoes! She laughed and said she liked tormenting me and didn't like me and didn't think I should become a nurse. I was the only student she ever put on probation. There was no reason for probation from my performance, so the shoes were her excuse to torment me. Half the class failed out grade wise in that time, some left because of her cruelty and mean remarks. She was disliked by all students, but they were relieved that she usually went after me the worse, and left them alone. She would say she was angry that she couldn't get me to fail out grade wise, even though she made the tests harder and weirder. She would tell me to stay after class/clinicals a lot, just to have me wait in the hall for almost an hour, before she would deign to even speak to me (to again, tell me how bad I was, never a word of praise). She particularly enjoyed berating me in front of patients who were unable to speak, sometimes reducing them to tears. Family members would ask why she was so mean to me, it was that obvious. I spent a lot of time comforting people for the abuse she gave me in front of them! She constantly told me in front of the class how stupid I was, and how she 'hated my face'. During my final review for that class, she told me she tried to fail me, she didn't like me, but was forced to pass me. (No 'you're really my secret best favorite student here' story I"m afraid.) At the end, and patient told me she asked her to make up something against me, to kick me out. The patient told me she talked negatively about me and was scary hateful of me. The patient, a retired RN, defended me. My teacher just said to me: "I don't understand why patients and staff like you so much." Follow up: I did a background check on this teacher and found out she had been arrested rather recently for domestic violence against her own elderly mother!!! Also domestic violence situations were common in her family, which was very bizarrely enmeshed and entwined with each other. So while she was being vicious to me, she was being vicious in her domestic life. I believe she is a sociopath. How she still has her license and teaches is a mystery to me. Teacher #2 She also ignored me, except to tell me how stupid I was. She made it a point to choose me to do clinicals with (the other students got the nicest, more helpful instructor). The other students in my clinical were the 'mean girls', the ones that were catty from the get go. This teacher would often praise them, even though they were late, got low grades on test, or even no call/no show. She made it a point to publicity praise them while putting me down. She would let them do cool things on clinicals, but I was "too stupid" to do anything but bed pans. One day I had enough. I challenged her to document every time she helped a student with a procedure. She did. Every student but me had had plenty of opportunity to do procedures. Me? Nada. Nothing. She still didn't help when it was obvious I was ignored in favor of the popular students. She started having the students be the supervisors of other students, except for me, as I was too stupid (again that word) and always was the supervised one, always by the mean girls who hated me anyway. What fun! The RNs I would work with often praised me to her, about my attitude, work ethic, and compassion towards patients. She would tell them they were mistaken. (I loved those RNs) At the end, about a month before graduation, the teacher told me I should quit, I should never be a nurse. My skills were terrible. "What the skills that nobody ever would work with me on?" I asked. This was right before the computerized standardized testing that shows the knowledge of the entire program. I went and took the test in fear, anger, and tears. I scored higher that 99.99% of the tens of thousands of students who took the test. I took it and showed it to her. She harrumphed again. Never a word of praise from these women. Her favorite, "good clinical" students had to do a lot of remediation because of their low grades. Her background check came up clean. *** What helped get me through this was how much the RNs and other staff helped me. They were awesome, and I got to help with many procedures and gained so much experience while teachers were off helping favorite students do things. They were so kind. Words can't express my gratitude for them. I also had a brief stint with a clinical teacher that was not associated with the regular program, who was helpful, kind and also validated my smarts and good work. I worked hard at my grades. I'm convinced how high they were kept me from being kicked out, it would be hard to justify doing so. And I prayed. Oh, I prayed. At the end, when I was convinced I was failing, I finally just started being a bit mean right back at the teacher. I would just roll my eyes and walk away, no matter what she said. I was done with the little game. Ironically, this is when she started telling me what a better student I was, and how I was improving. I would roll my eyes and walk away, even at the praise. I was so done. She never did give me a final review, and I didn't care. I got my diploma and walked away from that place. That time was the most difficult, painful time I have ever had. I truly did not know people could be so awful. **** My advice is study hard, let your grades be strong. Know your stuff. Ignore the talkers in class. And pray. A lot. Understand, to the fiber of your being, that just because someone has the label of instructor, doesn't mean they're good at it. Or you have to take their opinion as gospel. Treat the patients like gold. Treat the staff well. Help them out whenever you can. Take care of yourself, physically, emotionally, spiritually. Believe in yourself, even if nobody else does! You can do this!!! Oh and do background checks on the teachers. The internet is a wealth of information, some of it shocking.

Hazel, thank you so much for you encouraging and well-thought out reply. I am going to seek to follow your advice.

That's cool, thank you for explaining and clarifying. The print media is indeed difficult at times to express thoughts the way we would like. It will be interesting if you get to talk to your co-worker.

I did say I don't think she would be a good nurse to a pagan patient... ....IF...(and notice the big qualifier)... she had a negative attitude to towards pagans. I also didn't claim she did have a negative attitude, I don't know her. I also said that the tone or her original post could have been misread by me and another poster, but it did seem to be inflammatory. I did not attack her. I acknowledge the limitations of written words versus direct communication. I would also say what I said to anyone who was a nurse who was anti-Semitic treating Jewish patients, a racist treating someone of the race they dislike, and so on. Those people would indeed be better off only working with those like them. So people who are overtly or covertly prejudiced can harm those they dislike, consciously or unconsciously. Imagine this post..."I just found out my coworker is a Muslim! Could that mean she's a terrorist?" or "I just found out my coworker is a Mormon! Could that mean she's in a poly marriage?" Complete with skull avatar, and the 'thumbs up' symbol next to announcing she's a Christian (hence implying the others are thumbs down). I would have had a different tone with a regular avatar if the question was "My coworker is wiccan. I have never met one before. Can anyone tell me about the wiccan religion, as I'm Christian and I've never been exposed to this before. Also does being wiccan means she's a witch? I believe witches are (fill in the blanK) and do (fill in the blank). Am I correct?" I agree with many of the posters on this thread, why even talk about a coworkers religion, except to perhaps rearrange schedules. I know I don't, as in a real sense it's none of my business. So yeah. Go ahead and blast me, and call me a loud mouth, whatever. I respect your right to your opinion. I still stand behind my words.

I really don't think you should tell the BON, or your doctor. Try to quit on your own first. Go to AA and/or NA and work the program. One of the steps says to makes amends "except when to do so will harm yourself or others". You don't have to harm yourself by reporting yourself. Just get help, anonymously, decrease your dose like mentioned by BEDPAN76. Or you can tell your doctor you don't want to take Vicoden or other narcotics, and ask his/her advice how to wean off. Just say you don't want to take it anymore. Addiction doesn't have to be mentioned. Be careful about talking to a therapist. Some have to and will report. You know you have a problem. That's awesome, you have the first step. The physical detox will be short. The emotional/mental part will take longer. So check out a meeting (or a few). Good luck.