Even the Stoic Have a Breaking Point

Today was not a day I loved my job. In fact, in my years as a nurse, this is the first day where I cried openly, in front of my colleagues, and with those colleagues. Nurses General Nursing Article

The day started out normally enough: come into work, get my assignment, and start preparing my OR. I didn't need to move in right away; while we normally move patients into the OR around 0700, my patient wouldn't be moving in until 0800. And so, when the trauma code was called overhead at 0654, I was called upon to scope out the trauma bay.

I headed down to the ER, expecting the usual car accident, stabbing, or shooting. Well, it was a car accident all right, but certainly not the usual. A young woman, on her way to work, struck head on by a drunk driver. Yes, before 7a.m. But the heartbreaking part was that this woman arrived with the CPR device compressing away, her obviously pregnant belly bouncing in sync with the compressions. The baby was in obvious distress, and there was no time for transfer to the OR or to wait for an OB to arrive from maternity, four floors away. The trauma surgeon did an emergency C-section, right there in the trauma bay. Suddenly, we had not one but two trauma patients. And both were coding.

Baby boy was intubated and gradually his color improved, although respiratory function, heart rate, and pulse ox remained well below norm. He was sent to a nearby children's hospital NICU, with many crossing their fingers and saying a prayer that he would make it.

We never did get mom back. We tried drugs, we tried external pacing, we tried every trick in the book. All without success. We did what we could to get her incision closed and cleaned up for family to see.

We all heard the husband/father arrive. The wails as he was told his wife didn't make it, the sobs as he was walked into the trauma bay and sank to his knees. Every single person in that trauma bay was crying right along with him, even those known as the crusty old battle-axes who have never openly shed a tear.

I've cried over patient situations and deaths before, but always privately and usually in my shower at home after a hard day at work. But this was a situation where I couldn't hold it together, and I was certainly not alone. This was one of those traumas that will likely haunt many involved for the years to come.

Many healthcare employees are involved in events in the workplace that can lead to traumatic stress brought about by strong emotional responses (Vaithiligam, Jain, & Davies, 2008). In light of these events, hospitals should provide support to involved employees. Many offer an Employee Assistance Program (EAP), but is an EAP always enough? Employees may be reluctant to contact the EAP if they fear their employer will find out they have sought mental health help.

My facility goes beyond the EAP and provides critical incident debriefings when deemed warranted or if staff request a debriefing. The most recent was after a sudden onslaught of more than a dozen heroin overdoses that led to poor survival rates and several becoming organ donors. I am sure there will be one to follow today's events.

Debriefing allows those involved in a traumatic event to process it, vent emotions, and address potential physical or emotion harm that may result from the experience (Davis, 2013; Vaithiligam, Jain, & Davies, 2008). A timely debriefing that occurs within 72 hours of the precipitating event can reduce short- and long-term crisis reactions and psychological trauma (Davis, 2013). Healthcare employees can greatly benefit from the option to attend a critical incident debriefing. Does your facility provide this crucial support?


References

Davis, J. A. (2013). Critical Incident Stress Debriefing From a Traumatic Event. Psychology Today. Retrieved from Critical Incident Stress Debriefing From a Traumatic Event | Psychology Today

Vaithiligam, N., Jain, S., & Davies, D. (2008). Helping the helpers: Debriefing following and adverse incident. The Obstetrician & Gynaecologist, 10, 251-256. doi: 10.1576/toag.10.4.251.27442

Specializes in Hospice.

Thinking of you and your co-workers Rose Queen.

Take care of yourself as you process through this event.

I am so sorry, Rose_Queen. Trying real hard to hold back the tears. Can't even begin to imagine what you are going through right now. Please take care of yourself!

((HUGS))

Specializes in ORTHO, PCU, ED.

I am so so sorry. I don't think it could get more tragic. Hugs and prayers sent your way and to her family and baby.

...And for you drunk driver...I have a few choice words. God forbid you EVER forget what you did and it better hang over you FOREVER...I hope you're MISERY never ends.

Rose Queen: (,,,)BearHug(,,,)

My Heart is aching after reading your article. Thank You for writing it.

Try to find solace in that you all did your very best at the time.

My thoughts and prayers go out to all of you and the family.

(Rose Queen) I am so sorry.. Those are the events that stick with us forever. I remember my first code was related to a combination of MD negligence, a non-compliant patient, and dangerous staffing. My code was no where nearly as heartbreaking (cold of me I know), but regardless I will never forget being the one holding that woman's hand as she died. God I had terrible nightmares from that. My employer offered little in terms of support, and I left shortly after that event - I just couldn't stay.

I'm glad at least your employer makes an attempt to assist with the trauma that is left. Take care of yourself.

Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.

My facility is really doing right by the staff involved. They are having not one but two debriefings, so that those who are off on one day don't have to come in on their day off. They also have one of the chaplains available for anyone who needs it- no matter what time it is. Baby boy is still fighting; management updated us this morning.

Specializes in Telemetry.
My facility is really doing right by the staff involved. They are having not one but two debriefings, so that those who are off on one day don't have to come in on their day off. They also have one of the chaplains available for anyone who needs it- no matter what time it is. Baby boy is still fighting; management updated us this morning.

Good to hear. And I'm glad to see that mgmt realizes the need to let you know the child's progress regardless of HIPAA issues - sometimes knowing you gave a child a fighting chance is more important (I understand the spirit of HIPAA but there sure are a lot of things to be desired)

Continue to take care of yourselves.

Oh my goodness! I can't imagine. Well, I can. Your story is a there but for the grace of God go I moment. I was sent to scope out a trauma on arrival to the ED recently...luckily for me it was downgraded on arrival from level 1 to level 2 and the patient was seriously injured but stable considering.

I haven't forgotten my first OR death. Or for that matter, the second. They occurred the SAME week. I have about ten emergencies/traumas from last year that am I not sure that I have not fully moved past. Of those, I know the outcomes of about six: two died in the OR, two died hours or days later, and two are alive. Sometimes all I see when I try to go to sleep are flashbacks from those cases.

I've concluded that there is evil in the world, and things happen for no apparent reason sometimes. One of the surgeons I work with comments regularly about how this job is good for perspective, and he's absolutely right. *Most* things are not that serious after some of what we see. We all have problems, and while they MIGHT seem big, turns out they're not life and death big.

Hopefully your employer continues to treat you all well. Hopefully there is good news to be shared with you all when all is said and done for baby boy! Hopefully you've found what works for you to cope with this. It's just so hard some days. :(

So sorry, Rose_Queen. I hope you're doing o.k., and hope the baby is improving. ((((hugs))))

There was an infamous road-rage/car crash case in my city. The victim, a young pregnant woman, was seriously injured, lost her baby, and subsequently underwent a hysterectomy. I will never forget her heartbroken husband......it was their first child. So senseless, so horrible. After all these years, I still think about the woman and her husband, and wonder how they are.

Take care of yourself!

I'm sorry this happened. Sending virtual ((HUGS)). I cried. Thank you for the updates, I hope that little tyke keeps getting better and better. My heart aches for that poor husband. We have EAP at my hospital, I've never used it (yet - new grad).

Specializes in ORTHO, PCU, ED.
So sorry, Rose_Queen. I hope you're doing o.k., and hope the baby is improving. ((((hugs))))

There was an infamous road-rage/car crash case in my city. The victim, a young pregnant woman, was seriously injured, lost her baby, and subsequently underwent a hysterectomy. I will never forget her heartbroken husband......it was their first child. So senseless, so horrible. After all these years, I still think about the woman and her husband, and wonder how they are.

Take care of yourself!

I literally felt my heart sink when I read that. Wow. Counting my blessings again.

I'm sorry. I read this saying this is a horrible story. I feel bad for the family but mostly the little boy. If you need to don't be ashamed to take a therapy session.