Even the Stoic Have a Breaking Point

Today was not a day I loved my job. In fact, in my years as a nurse, this is the first day where I cried openly, in front of my colleagues, and with those colleagues. Nurses General Nursing Article

The day started out normally enough: come into work, get my assignment, and start preparing my OR. I didn't need to move in right away; while we normally move patients into the OR around 0700, my patient wouldn't be moving in until 0800. And so, when the trauma code was called overhead at 0654, I was called upon to scope out the trauma bay.

I headed down to the ER, expecting the usual car accident, stabbing, or shooting. Well, it was a car accident all right, but certainly not the usual. A young woman, on her way to work, struck head on by a drunk driver. Yes, before 7a.m. But the heartbreaking part was that this woman arrived with the CPR device compressing away, her obviously pregnant belly bouncing in sync with the compressions. The baby was in obvious distress, and there was no time for transfer to the OR or to wait for an OB to arrive from maternity, four floors away. The trauma surgeon did an emergency C-section, right there in the trauma bay. Suddenly, we had not one but two trauma patients. And both were coding.

Baby boy was intubated and gradually his color improved, although respiratory function, heart rate, and pulse ox remained well below norm. He was sent to a nearby children's hospital NICU, with many crossing their fingers and saying a prayer that he would make it.

We never did get mom back. We tried drugs, we tried external pacing, we tried every trick in the book. All without success. We did what we could to get her incision closed and cleaned up for family to see.

We all heard the husband/father arrive. The wails as he was told his wife didn't make it, the sobs as he was walked into the trauma bay and sank to his knees. Every single person in that trauma bay was crying right along with him, even those known as the crusty old battle-axes who have never openly shed a tear.

I've cried over patient situations and deaths before, but always privately and usually in my shower at home after a hard day at work. But this was a situation where I couldn't hold it together, and I was certainly not alone. This was one of those traumas that will likely haunt many involved for the years to come.

Many healthcare employees are involved in events in the workplace that can lead to traumatic stress brought about by strong emotional responses (Vaithiligam, Jain, & Davies, 2008). In light of these events, hospitals should provide support to involved employees. Many offer an Employee Assistance Program (EAP), but is an EAP always enough? Employees may be reluctant to contact the EAP if they fear their employer will find out they have sought mental health help.

My facility goes beyond the EAP and provides critical incident debriefings when deemed warranted or if staff request a debriefing. The most recent was after a sudden onslaught of more than a dozen heroin overdoses that led to poor survival rates and several becoming organ donors. I am sure there will be one to follow today's events.

Debriefing allows those involved in a traumatic event to process it, vent emotions, and address potential physical or emotion harm that may result from the experience (Davis, 2013; Vaithiligam, Jain, & Davies, 2008). A timely debriefing that occurs within 72 hours of the precipitating event can reduce short- and long-term crisis reactions and psychological trauma (Davis, 2013). Healthcare employees can greatly benefit from the option to attend a critical incident debriefing. Does your facility provide this crucial support?


References

Davis, J. A. (2013). Critical Incident Stress Debriefing From a Traumatic Event. Psychology Today. Retrieved from Critical Incident Stress Debriefing From a Traumatic Event | Psychology Today

Vaithiligam, N., Jain, S., & Davies, D. (2008). Helping the helpers: Debriefing following and adverse incident. The Obstetrician & Gynaecologist, 10, 251-256. doi: 10.1576/toag.10.4.251.27442

Specializes in Med-Surg.

I cried just reading this... My heart breaks for the family, for you, and for your coworkers. What a senseless tragedy.

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

Bless you for being there, Rose Queen.

You're in my thoughts.

Specializes in Addictions Nursing, LTC.

(((Rose_Queen)))

Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
It's amazing after all I've seen (much while deployed like ED Nurse up there), stuff like this still gets me right in the feels. I am so sorry, how awful. I really hope the baby does well so that someone will survive something so horrific. That poor family. :(

We had a rough pediatric patient in our ED recently, and our hospital chaplain came in to talk to us and bless our hands a couple of days later. I don't have much use for organized religion, but our chaplain is fabulous and I really appreciated what he did in sitting down with the staff who cared for this particular patient. I think we all found it helpful. I hope you and the staff involved can find a way to deal with the incident.

I'm not big on organized religion, either. But I did work in a Catholic hospital and the pastoral care dept. were absolute life-savers. They never failed to step up to the plate and I can't say enough about them.

Bless you and your colleagues for being there, Rose Queen.

Also cried reading this. Hugs to you.

Specializes in ER, ICU/CCU, Open Heart OR Recovery, Etc.

Thank you for being there for that family. I have witnessed similar, was also on CISD team for a bit. I'm a big proponent of both them and a good pastoral care department.

(((Hug)))

We must cry sometime.

Specializes in Infusion Nursing, Home Health Infusion.

I will say a prayer that her baby boy makes it! How senseless this all is because some idiot got behind the wheel after drinking.I still remember the seizing baby boy I started an IV on because his mother left him alone in the tub and he slid under! These traumas never leave your memory.Bless you for being there to help.

Rose Queen - how sad!! I am sorry that this happened. This is truly a heart breaking situation and event and I can not imagine anybody not feeling sad about it.

About 25 years or so ago in nursing school they send me to gyn/OB to get something and when I entered their area there was blood in one room everywhere and instruments. Turned out that a pregnant woman had an undiagnosed heart problem and came to the clinic not feeling well. She coded and they did a c-section right there, they patient died in the room, I am not sure if the baby survived. After that event the providers and nurses as well as the OR team and anesthesia who had rushed there were sitting in a room, sad, unable to go on with their day for a while. The event, although long time ago, has stuck with me. It was just a very sad story as well with the husband losing his wife and perhaps also the child. I remember that as a result of this there were changes in screening for heart problems and also how to monitor pregnant women with heart problems.

I hope that you and your coworkers will support each other during this time of sadness.

Specializes in ED, School Nurse.

I'm so sorry. I had tears in my eyes just reading this, I can't imagine having been there.

Specializes in ICU.

I had one of those this week, too. I had a 30-something healthier than I am patient who coded at home. Her young son heard something fall in the other room, but didn't think anything of it, and didn't check on her for about half an hour. Patient was dead as a doornail on the floor. Kid called EMS, who coded her and brought her to us.

We did full hypothermia protocol and everything. She was only on 30% on the vent, no pressors, stable heart rhythms - just having near continuous seizure activity in her legs as well as some obvious decerebrate posturing to noxious stimuli. Listening to her kid talk was just awful - "Oh, maybe we'll get to take her home next week! She's moving!"

Nothing I or anyone else said could convince him that his mom was most of the way dead and wasn't going to wake up. I can't even imagine the level of denial - being a child, finding your mom dead on the floor, and then getting absolutely raked over the coals by the police in the ER asking what sort of pills his mom took and where she got them from. They had figured that with someone her age, it had to be an OD and he would know what kind of illegal stuff she did...

She also happened to be heartbreakingly beautiful. I know we're not supposed to really look our patients over like that, but - long gorgeous hair, tan, beautiful eyes, perfect hourglass figure, perfect skin - absolutely zero health history. Drug screen came back negative for everything. A family member had a hx of arrythmias so we figured she must have gone into a lethal rhythm out of the blue and collapsed.

Just awful. We withdrew on her. She wasn't quite dead when I left, but she was satting in the 50s so it probably wouldn't be long. What really got me was her mom bringing in the bottle of toenail polish, stating, "I've just got to get these toenails fixed, she'd never forgive me if she knew people were looking at her with her toes like that."

Sometimes this job really sucks.

Specializes in pediatrics, occupational health.

This sounds like one of the stories you will remember forever, and I am so sorry that you had to go through it.

I struggle with PTS from some of my paramedic calls and I had a frequent ghost visitor (maybe in my head, I don't know) that haunted me for years asking why I didn't save her. Worst call of my life and I still get tears in my eyes when I think about it. I didn't have any counselling, and I still think, 17 years later, that I sure could use it.

Hugs to you.

Specializes in ED, ICU, PSYCH, PP, CEN.

And this is why I have zero tolerance for driving under the influence of anything, even lack of sleep. It's a senseless tragedy, but I know from experience that the family will eventually find some comfort from seeing everyone there weeping. God bless you all and may you find comfort in the wonderful care you give to others.