Done, can anyone relate and share?

[Zookeeper3]

k, here bearing it all, there was a thread about compassion fatigue syndrome.. and i read all these vents, posts of anger and exhaustion.... but i'm not looking for the.. "it will be aok, just hang in there" response.

i really wish to hear from those that simply have nothing left to give, are empty and still have to show up and do it all over again until they find something different. i don't want a pep talk, i wish to have a discussion with those that are compassion fatigued, exhausted and simply empty. (if you're a nursing student, please, please turn the channel). and i mean no disrespect in that... i'm done ... done and need help from those that know and have been there.

while i could fill up 4 pages of bandwith of what i've been going through, i'll spare you the dramatics, but after a child who was massively injured and recovering,and will be "just fine", i simply don't care about others issues....i think your mamma with chf is going to be just fine, tone down the dramatics and live a day in my life....'so you in the icu with a bull crap suicide attempt... i'm trying to save people that want to live" (get your crap together and do it right the first time and be a me case or get out). i'm done with that bs...

you're 65 crying out loud if you don't take your meds you'll seize, be intubated,put on drips for your non controlled htn, blood sugar and what not. and don't be angry with me that i can't fix the result of your noncompliance as quickly as you wish.

my point is... when we are really done... really done... and have to get out, run as far as we can..... what is really left for us?

i"'m afraid that i have to leave nursing because i have noting left to give and simply don't give a crap about those that i care for. i 'm looking for other areas... but i simply have no give a damn left to those that never gave a damn... and i'm searching for anything in nursing.....

my fear is that in 15 years, it' s time to go, and some of you that will say that that haven't been through it, what i really do is pure hell. i live in hell, and i finally here admit my defeat... i'm done....

for anyone like me in the icu... being done as i am can you give any advice and alternatives that you've moved on to and been whole?

[Ahhphoey]

I know the feeling. I'm not quite done yet, but I am definitely getting burned out. Just recently I got cursed out by the mentally ill sibling of my critically ill patient, addressed the concerns of yet another demanding family member of a patient who wasn't mine ( I was charge that day), fielded numerous phone calls about one patient and had to redirect everyone to the spokesperson only to be cursed out yet again, plus deal with my own two sick patients and try to find staffing for the next shift because they were pretty darn short all in my 12 hour shift! I am just tired of the ignorance and lack of appreciation! I only work prn in ICU now because I was just getting mentally and physically burned out, but do still like providing direct care. I now work full time in staff development, M-F, no weekends, nights or holidays and decent pay.

Maybe look for a nursing job away from the bedside. I love the nursing field and it has so many opportunities in so many areas, I'm sure you can find something more rewarding for you. Good luck.

[nurse2033, MSN, RN]

In regard to the above post..

Uh, rather harsh, no?

The OP realizes this and that is why she is concerned.

She does not need to be guilted into feeling worse than she does...

THis is one reason we have the reputation of "eating our young"

s

I don't the post was harsh, just honest. Although this thread is about the nurse, nursing is still about the patient. Even if nursing is the cause, we all need to realize when it's time to move on. And I'm not talking about leaving nursing necessarily, just the type of care. As many have suggested nursing has so many avenues away from the bedside she could find a new area, and still utilize the many years of experience and knowledge she has. Let's all send a big hug...

[sistasoul]

Zoo,

I can understand your need to get away from this very demanding profession. I just cannot imagine working in an ICU for 15 years. That is such an intense area to work in. I have been a floor nurse for all of 15 months and I have never felt so abused at a job. I am 44 years old and have been working since I was 11 years old and have worked in many capacities. Between the nasty, condescending Docs and the patients and their families thinking the hospital is a Hilton I feel like I want to run away also. To top it off there is never time for a lunch and it is a fight to the finish to get out on time. This job leaves me mentally and physically exhausted.

So even though I have not been a nurse long, I have worked at enough jobs as to where I can see that nursing is soul draining and abusive. I worked 60 hrs a week for 5 years and was not as exhausted as I am now.

I can feel your pain in the words you have written and I wish you peace and harmony. You have taken care of others long enough. It is your turn now.

[SWS RN, ASN, RN]

I don't the post was harsh, just honest. Although this thread is about the nurse, nursing is still about the patient. Even if nursing is the cause, we all need to realize when it's time to move on. And I'm not talking about leaving nursing necessarily, just the type of care. As many have suggested nursing has so many avenues away from the bedside she could find a new area, and still utilize the many years of experience and knowledge she has. Let's all send a big hug...

I know that, you know that, and most importantly, the OP knows that.

I was simply stating that since she is already upset, no need to make her feel guilty too.

Zookeeper,

Hang tough, you are experiencing what so many of us are and you have the guts to admit it!

sending another hug.

:hug:

s

ps, one for sistasoul too!:hug:

[JKidzMom]

You didnt say if you were married with kids or not, but what about being a nurse on a cruise ship?? They LOVE ICU nurses and you get free airfare to the ship, room, board and food while you work. Pay of course and a really SWEET way to travel the world. You can decide where YOU want to go and when. Ususally your co-worders split up the day so everyone works and everyone plays, so it seems like fun. I guess the doctors are nice too, because they are doing something they want to be doing as well. And hopefully, the only think you will have to deal with is motion sickness and sunburn. ha ha If I were single and free-this is EXACTLY what I would do. I have been a nurse for 23 years and I am MORE then done, but I put a smile on my face and do it for my family.

[HeatwaveRN]

I could totally relate. What's sad is that I've only been in this for a couple of years. (40hrs/week)

I feel that they are just giving nurses more responsibilities with less resources.

It's hard to be compassionate if you are burnt out by your patients, their families, and co-workers.

Apathy rears it's ugly head more and more each day. But sometimes I guess it's almost like a defense mechanism that I do--Maybe I'm just tired of being treated like the crap.

[nursel56]

Saying extra prayers for you and your daughter, Zookeeper {{:redpinkhe:redpinkhe}} Is FMLA a total impossibility? Lots and lots of emotional bandwidth is taken up by caring for an injured child, and everyday nurse crap is not going to roll off like it did before. Wish you all the best.

[Zookeeper3]

Oh my gosh, I just want to thank you all for the wonderful responses and support, I honestly thought I'd get blasted but had to put it all out there anyway. I was afraid for a touch to read the responses. (A bit sensitive these days).

I have a married daughter, my injured recovering kid (who is quirky in the the head, but we'll see how it goes) and a 16 year old son at home who has been neglected and needs some spoiling. So I have financial responsibilities to work to pay all these bills, a wonderful supportive husband that would understand if I need a few months off. a fabulous work team that carries me through... I just know that making decisions now is risky, I"m not myself... but I have to leave where I'm at... and that means leaving a tremendous support system of great friends who are co-workers too, that I need now, (I need them at my side but have to leave them). I need my peeps, but can no longer do the job. I know they'll still be there for me, but change, when I've had nothing but stress and change... makes my needed change even harder.

Just thank you all.. every word, thought and suggestion has really helped so much... I'm looking and searching for a new "work home", it's just so hard to give up my wonderful home at work.. because I can't work there any longer.

I'm looking though. Thanks for all the support, you are all simply wonderful... smooch.. and thanks for the hugs.

[piperknitsRN]

Bless you.

Yes, I completely understand where you're coming from. Completely.

There have been great suggestions on this board as to how to deal with your burn out, including transitioning to another specialty or going back to school, and/or renewing personal interests, hobbies.

Whatever you do decide, and however you proceed--use your support system.

The burn out is there, yes. Sometimes, I find ways to psych myself up for work/talk myself into going in; I think of the other nurses, and how understaffed they will be if I don't go in; I think of how many good friends I have made in nursing over the years, and mostly--I think I am lucky to have a paycheck and health benefits in a time of lean economy.

If you ever have to absolutely bow-out of a job because you're mental and physical health precludes you from doing a competent job--view that as a strength, rather than a weakness. I struggled with this, and while I worked the better part of a year to re-establish contacts and work up to the career I have now--I salvaged and rebuilt my career, and most importantly, I saved myself.

Find your own way, and let the rest of us illuminate your path with warmth and guidance.

[carolmaccas66, BSN, RN]

I agree that you can't do much else with a nursing degree - it is bedside nursing, or no-one is interested in you.

A bit sad considering all the money/work I did to get my bachelor of nursing.....

[carolmaccas66, BSN, RN]

To the poster who said we are just slaves - I couldn't have phrased it any better.

It's just that we get paid for putting up with all the c**p that we do - and we don't get paid ENOUGH for that either.

[hpcat]

I'm a new grad and couldn't resist reading this cuz of the irony. I just changed careers from copywriting to nursing. I had a job many people would kill for, working for a cosmetics company, writing packaging and national advertising, and I got paid more than I will be earning in nursing for some time.

Why'd I leave? BURNOUT. I could not deal with spoiled 21 yr old new hires with $700 purses and no work experience telling me how to do my job after 15 years. Marketing people sitting on projects for months and then I have exactly 30 seconds to write the copy - and they reject it cuz they don't even know what they want anyway, so the art is late and it's my fault and my boss is reamed by the board of directors. Whiny "Celebs" (D-listers) who we spoil with free crap cuz we want their name our crap. Emphasis on the word crap cuz it's the same nail polish we make for everyone just in a different bottle. And how many times can write about nail polish anyway? High speed, high pressure atmosphere that produced nothing lasting or of value to the human race.

Granted it's not life and death, but you can burn out in any career. Run, don't walk to something else. Life is too short to be miserable. I guarantee there will be something else you really love, but you have to take the first step ASAP. Change is hard, but it's soooo worth it. I'm excited about what I do, and guess what, the writing experience from my last career is coming in handy - my latest interviewer said they needed someone to write up treatment plans and that's why I got a second interview!