Domestic Violence Survivor.

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Are there any other people on here who have survived domestic violence? how do you deal with it as a nurse? My husband of almost 2 years decided to try to kill me by throwing me against the wall and choking me. does anyone have any advice? I am going to nursing school, and i was wondering how this will affect my ability to get a job, due to the fact i had to run from the city i was living in to stay with my father.

Sorry for what your going through Jess. I have been in your situation before. I am currently in nursing school for the ump tenth time, and have over the years had to deal with a controlling abusive spouse. He tried to kill me twice. And unfortunately for me it took me 11 years to say enough is enough. It was hard because I lost my sense of self, I didn't know who I was anymore. I am glad that you are stong enough to realize that this is not a healthy relationship for you, and you realized it early. Reading the little of what you have written on your post and what the others have said, I think you will be just fine. I wish you the best of luck, and hope everything gets better for you.

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As a victim of physical/sexual abuse from a sig other, I completely agree with the others who said see a therapist. I had a couple of bad years after mine, not realizing how important that was. I thought I could handle it myself.

Don't worry about nursing part, you'll be fine. As an ER nurse, I see alot of DV and rapes. You're heart will break in the beginning with the memories but it's gets easier, and it'll only reinforce that beautiful feeling of freedom. I'm often one of the only ones in the dept that is empathetic to the patient. Most have the 'it's her fault for staying in it' attitude. For those of us who've been there we know it's just not quite that simple.

Good Luck

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
as a victim of physical/sexual abuse from a sig other, i completely agree with the others who said see a therapist. i had a couple of bad years after mine, not realizing how important that was. i thought i could handle it myself.

don't worry about nursing part, you'll be fine. as an er nurse, i see alot of dv and rapes. you're heart will break in the beginning with the memories but it's gets easier, and it'll only reinforce that beautiful feeling of freedom. i'm often one of the only ones in the dept that is empathetic to the patient. most have the 'it's her fault for staying in it' attitude. for those of us who've been there we know it's just not quite that simple.

good luck

you're so right, it's just not that simple!

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You must find a way to not let your horrible past define who you are.

I am speaking from experience with having a "bad" history, it is so easy to call yourself a victim and seek sympathy from everyone around you. I used to do it. If you are ever going to live a decent life you have to realize that you are not just a vicitm, you are YOU, a person who went through a horrible experience, and now you have to move past that and become you again.

I am sorry but your post is nothing more than attention seeking, I am not saying you are a bad person for doing so, but for your sake you must learn to fulfill yourself in a more constructive way.

Definitely see a therpaist.

Yes, here's a little flame. You mean well, I'm sure. I think she is not just attention-seeking. She is scared and you should understand, if you have really been through this. Yes, she is free now to put it behind her and, with some encouragement, might be able to actually do that. Was it really necessary to throw in the criticism? I think you did mean well. So often, it's how we say things that makes the difference in being critical and destructive, and being encouraging and giving life.

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Specializes in Med/Surg.

My husband pleaded no contest to the charges, was sentenced to 2 years supervised probation and domestic violence classes. I was able to get a restraining affidavit and i have to go back on the 14th of june to get the actual restraining order. I was so scared seeing him again!!!!! the police officer that had picked me up was there to testify for me so i just looked at him the entire time. i feel like the worst is almost over and i am in counsoling. you all have been great...thank you for your support!!!

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Specializes in Pediatrics.

Jess Good for you for sticking with it and getting a restraining orfer and into counsleing.

It has been 5 years senice I left my ex, he beat me up while holding our baby, and still anytime I see someone who looks like him I get a sick to my stomach feeling.

Seeing him in court will be differcult, but mabey you could get a victims advocate who will go with you to court when ever you have to face him.

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You can do this...I was married at 17...the abuse:physical,mental,etc...started one week later. I had 2 children (they were never harmed) and at 33 decided enough. I went to school full time days and worked a full time job as well as took care of the house and kids. After school and boards, I trained in the OR and started looking in CA for a new life. It was very difficult...the police met me at the airport because of a death threat from my husband. Anyway, long story short, I managed to get out alive. Please don't give up....please. I will keep you in my thoughts and feel free to

PM me for encouragement.

God Bless

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You must find a way to not let your horrible past define who you are.

I am speaking from experience with having a "bad" history, it is so easy to call yourself a victim and seek sympathy from everyone around you. I used to do it. If you are ever going to live a decent life you have to realize that you are not just a vicitm, you are YOU, a person who went through a horrible experience, and now you have to move past that and become you again.

I am sorry but your post is nothing more than attention seeking, I am not saying you are a bad person for doing so, but for your sake you must learn to fulfill yourself in a more constructive way.

Definately see a therpaist.

(ohhhhhhh, I am going to get flamed for this........):stone

:trout: :madface:
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Both of my marriages were disasters.I was brrought up believing "you made your bed lie in it".Fled both when the violence was directed at my children.Don't ever feel sorry for the b......'', or that you owe him another chance.My life experience has taught me that leopards never change their spots.Look after yourself .The longer you are away from him the easier it is easier to say no to returning and facing the same honeymoon cycles that is domestic violence.Love yourself and know that you deserve better than this.Hope you learn this quicker than I did.

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You must find a way to not let your horrible past define who you are.

I am speaking from experience with having a "bad" history, it is so easy to call yourself a victim and seek sympathy from everyone around you. I used to do it. If you are ever going to live a decent life you have to realize that you are not just a vicitm, you are YOU, a person who went through a horrible experience, and now you have to move past that and become you again.

I am sorry but your post is nothing more than attention seeking, I am not saying you are a bad person for doing so, but for your sake you must learn to fulfill yourself in a more constructive way.

Definately see a therpaist.

(ohhhhhhh, I am going to get flamed for this........):stone

:trout: :madface:
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Specializes in Med/Surg.

the therapist i am going to is great.

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Specializes in Almost everywhere.
the therapist i am going to is great.

i'm soooo glad! hang in there...:icon_hug: !

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