Does anyone else get grief from their family for choosing nursing?

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For the most part, my family is decently supportive of my decision to become a nurse. A bit surprise maybe, but not disrespectful. Except for my mother. She acts like she's happy about it, and says she thinks it's a "very nice career" and that she's proud of me and think's I'm being selfless. But she always manages to get in little jabs here and there that makes me think that SHE thinks I'm above nursing.

For example, the very first time I brought up nursing as a possibility, all she said was "ew that's disgusting." No lie. Also, a few days ago my brother asked me if I wanted to be an OR nurse and my mother interjected with "no she's gonna be the type of nurse that wipes people's asses and gets vomited on." Or sometimes she'll say things to try to discourage me and make me change my mind. Things like "being around sick people all day is just going to depress you" or "you don't know anything about math or science, how are you going to be able to do nursing?" It's just little things like that, you know?

It bothers me a bit, but it's also not going to stop me from going for it. I respect her right to an opinion, but hers seems to stem from the fact that SHE would never want to be a nurse, so she can't understand why I want to be one. I just wish she could respect my decision and have a little faith that I didn't just choose this career on a whim without any idea of what it's going to take.

Do any of you get things like that from your family? How do you deal with it?

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Specializes in geriatrics.

I get grief from my family about many other things. They are quite happy that I am a nurse because my grandma was a nurse. This had nothing to do with my decision to become a nurse though.

However, I do hear: "Eww so many disgusting things to do. None of us have the stomach. You're like grandma that way."

I've never cared that much about what family or anyone else thinks. Everyone has an opinion but ultimately, it's your decision how you choose to live. You can't please everyone.

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No.

Not to be insulting but I don't think the issue is nursing, I think it's your mom's limited awareness and maturity.

What you need to do is thoroughly vet yourself and the current state of nursing with it's responsibilities and job market and see if it's a fit. Unless you would otherwise head in the opposite direction of health sciences, having nursing as an initial goal (with competitive grades) won't throw you off.

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Specializes in Critical Care, Postpartum.

Nope. My family couldn't have been more proud and even relieved when I switched my career to nursing.

I agree with PP that you may need to educate your mother on the many roles of nursing and the different areas one can go into as a nurse. There are plenty of nurses who have never stepped one foot into a hospital.

Your mother's opinions are based off of limited knowledge. Enlighten her and good luck! When I was a student I helped wipe up a grown man who was in a MVA. In the middle of it he began to cry and say sorry. He thought he would never be in this situation that some had to wipe him up. Therapeutic communication was done right in the midst while maintaining his dignity. This is a part of nursing.

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Specializes in Inpatient Oncology/Public Health.

Is your mom generally supportive otherwise? Or critical and likes to tear you down? I'm not sure this is about nursing.

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Specializes in hospice.

She sounds a lot like my mother. One day I finally had to tell her that I had to run MY LIFE to meet MY needs, not hers, and that if she didn't back off, she just wouldn't see me anymore. Had nothing to do with nursing, but me moving to another state. This was about 20 years ago.

That shut her up for a while, but I'm sad to tell you that personality flaws like that tend not to go away. I currently haven't spoken to my mother in about 2 years and it's only increased my peace. I didn't choose to cut her out, she chose to stop communicating when she didn't get what she wanted out of me.

Sucks, but it is what it is.

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I get grief from my family about many other things. They are quite happy that I am a nurse because my grandma was a nurse. This had nothing to do with my decision to become a nurse though.

However, I do hear: "Eww so many disgusting things to do. None of us have the stomach. You're like grandma that way."

I've never cared that much about what family or anyone else thinks. Everyone has an opinion but ultimately, it's your decision how you choose to live. You can't please everyone.

Yeah, that's true. And like I said, I'm definitely not going to let it stop me from trying. But no one wants their parents to be disappointed in them, right?

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Nope. My family couldn't have been more proud and even relieved when I switched my career to nursing.

I agree with PP that you may need to educate your mother on the many roles of nursing and the different areas one can go into as a nurse. There are plenty of nurses who have never stepped one foot into a hospital.

Your mother's opinions are based off of limited knowledge. Enlighten her and good luck! When I was a student I helped wipe up a grown man who was in a MVA. In the middle of it he began to cry and say sorry. He thought he would never be in this situation that some had to wipe him up. Therapeutic communication was done right in the midst while maintaining his dignity. This is a part of nursing.

Sent via iPink's phone using allnurses

You know, it's kind of funny. I thought my family would be thrilled with my decision. They always wanted me to do something artistic or involving writing (which they think I'm good at). They would want me to be a novelist or a journalist or an editor. Usually it's the opposite, with the parents wanting their child to do something practical but the child being set on their art, haha.

Anyway, I think you're probably right. In a lot of ways I think she's caught up on an old fashioned way of looking at nursing, wherein nurses are people who aren't talented enough to make it as doctors and where a white cap and poofy sleeves. I've slowly been trying to change this view that she has, hopefully I'll succeed.

I totally agree about the therapeutic communication. I should clarify that my mother thinks I'm above nursing, not me. I wouldn't have gone into this if I didn't want to help people and make them feel as comfortable as possible.

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My mom is a nurse and she has told me many times "Are you sure you want to do this?" Or "What about becoming a doctor"

I learned to just ignore it but it kept happening so I just told her "Mom I know you want the best for me, but I believe this is the best for me so can you understand this". She was speechless and soon enough she stopped saying those things and now actually gives me encouragements about the profession.

Every family member is different so I say you should talk about it head on!

Sorry about your situation but hopefully it turns around soon.

Good Luck :)

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Specializes in PACU.

The only grief I get from family members is clearly routed in jealously, and they are family members I really won't care about when it comes time to cut them out of my life.

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Specializes in Neurosurgery, Neurology.

My parents are generally ok about me being in nursing school, however once in awhile, they talk about how they think I should go to medical school after, or that I'm "too smart" not to go to med school. I've told them over and over that I love nursing, that smart people go into nursing too (and that you have to be smart to do well a science-based curriculum and field like nursing), and that in nursing, besides being a clinician as an RN, I can continue my education and become a provider as an NP, CRNA, etc, doing essentially the same things as physicians (cue the throwing of tomatoes by the critics!).

I often think that this stems from them not knowing what nursing actually involves, and what we study in nursing school (sometimes I show them the textbooks). I think that this is an issue for the general public as well. Nurses aren't robots following doctors orders (I always laugh when I watch Grey's Anatomy and the only line the invisible nurse has is "right away, doctor!") and putting in bed pans. Yes, nurses do implement the orders of providers (which could also be another nurse, such as an NP), and nurses do put patients on bed pans, but that is a very small part of what nursing involves, and what nurses learn in nursing school. I think that the media contributes to a lot of this, where we hear time and time again about how a physician did this or that, and nurses are generally invisible, unless there was a problem, or if a nurse was infected with ebola. One of my life goals is to do my part to help the public better understand what nursing is, what nurses study, and what nurses do. So, I'm kind of grateful for the infrequent grief my family gives me for choosing nursing!

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Specializes in SICU, trauma, neuro.

How about something like, "I know you say some of these things out of concern for me, but nursing school is very difficult, and I need to be surrounded with positivity. Please keep the jabs out of our conversations; I'm sure you understand how they're adding negativity when I need the opposite."

My parents were actually very happy with my decision! I had aspirations of a PhD in musicology before I decided to pursue nursing. So when I announced my decision, their response went something like "Fantastic!!! Our daughter's going to be employed!!!!!" :laugh:

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