Does anyone else get grief from their family for choosing nursing?

[planetoi]

For the most part, my family is decently supportive of my decision to become a nurse. A bit surprise maybe, but not disrespectful. Except for my mother. She acts like she's happy about it, and says she thinks it's a "very nice career" and that she's proud of me and think's I'm being selfless. But she always manages to get in little jabs here and there that makes me think that SHE thinks I'm above nursing.

For example, the very first time I brought up nursing as a possibility, all she said was "ew that's disgusting." No lie. Also, a few days ago my brother asked me if I wanted to be an OR nurse and my mother interjected with "no she's gonna be the type of nurse that wipes people's asses and gets vomited on." Or sometimes she'll say things to try to discourage me and make me change my mind. Things like "being around sick people all day is just going to depress you" or "you don't know anything about math or science, how are you going to be able to do nursing?" It's just little things like that, you know?

It bothers me a bit, but it's also not going to stop me from going for it. I respect her right to an opinion, but hers seems to stem from the fact that SHE would never want to be a nurse, so she can't understand why I want to be one. I just wish she could respect my decision and have a little faith that I didn't just choose this career on a whim without any idea of what it's going to take.

Do any of you get things like that from your family? How do you deal with it?

[planetoi]

This may be controversial advice, but it sounds like your mom doesn't treat you with respect and you really want to earn respect from her. The problem is that with this type of person, trying to earn their respect by being obedient and being really good will never work. They will just walk all over you, and the more they see how much you want their love, the more they will take advantage of it by putting you down. I had to deal with something similar with my own mother.

In all likelihood, she won't stop treating you like this until you push back. At some point, I stopped being hurt with my mother and started being a ***** when she put me down, giving her a taste of her own medicine and pointing out her shortcomings. I don't suggest doing it that way, but I do suggest being firm and standing up for yourself. Try saying things like, "does it make you feel better when you insult me like that?" Just call it as you see it, and try to remain calm when you do so. When you stand up for yourself it will stop and you'll come to an understanding.

Don't get me wrong, I know my mom loves me a lot and she just wants the best for me, and honestly I could do a LOT worse for parents. But she is very stubborn and stuck in her ways, and if she doesn't get her way, she's very vocal about it. Next time she starts in on the whole "so you're going to wipe someone's butt for a living?" spiel, I think I probably will take your advice. I don't belittle her career even though I disapprove of it and she needs to know that she can't belittle mine. Maybe she'll never respect nursing (although I hope her attitude on that will change in the next few years) but as her daughter, I hope she can at least bite her tongue and respect me.

[brandy1017, ASN, RN]

That's exactly it, my mom and I want different things. I know at the end of the day she just wants what's best for me and for me to be happy, but I wish she would let me figure it out for myself, you know? She always wanted me to be a writer or an artist.

I love art and think successful artists have a dream job. Love the works of Thomas Kinkade all those beautiful one of kind cottage houses and the beautiful pastel colors. That must be a fun job! Think of all the artists whose work are displayed on cards, calendars,stationary, prints and even china and other home decor. The only problem is I'm not the least bit artistic, but my house is filled with beautiful artwork from other talented people!

[Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP]

It helps this issue greatly that at baseline I just don't give a **** what other people think when I'm passionate about something.

My dad and stepmother have no clue what I do for a living. They know I'm a nurse but they don't get what nurses do. It's no skin off my nose because neither has had a lot of input in my life decisions for a very long time. I will give my dad credit - he has worked nights so he really is great about respecting my sleep during the day. I have a set schedule so he never calls me when he knows I'm working.

My mother/stepfather are very proud of what I do. Grandma was a nurse so my mother knows what it's about. Dad (my stepfather) helped me get through nursing school financially, and respects my opinion when we talk about medical things. ("Really, Dad....I know you don't like going to the doctor, but if your leg is swollen and painful and red, you should probably go. Yes, he will still believe you even if you take something for the pain beforehand." "Oh, alright, if you say so." "Thank you. Now go.")

Most of the gen pop has no clue what we do. It's ok. Sometimes it's irritating, but most days you have to just let it roll off. The gen pop doesn't sign your paycheck, including your family. Either don't let them be around you with their negativity, or don't let it bother you. Those are your choices. And, as my grandma used to say, living well is the best revenge.

[PinkEagle]

My mom is a nurse and she has told me many times "Are you sure you want to do this?" Or "What about becoming a doctor"

I learned to just ignore it but it kept happening so I just told her "Mom I know you want the best for me, but I believe this is the best for me so can you understand this". She was speechless and soon enough she stopped saying those things and now actually gives me encouragements about the profession.

Every family member is different so I say you should talk about it head on!

Sorry about your situation but hopefully it turns around soon.

Good Luck :)

Sent from my iPhone using allnurses

My mother is the exact same way! She is a RN when I told her I was giving up my pre-med desires to become a nurse, she was soooooo disappointed! She felt like I was selling myself short and should be the boss rather than be the one bossed around. Other family members said the same thing, "why would you want to be a nurse, when you could be a doctor?" I found her logic stupid since she herself was a nurse but her opinions come from the frustration that after 20 years of nursing she never got a BSN or a MSN like she wanted and is "stuck" doing bedside.

I say screw it! Do what you want and do it right! I'm now applying to direct entry MSN programs and I can't wait to begin my career in nursing! :)