Doctor's Fiancee yelled at me

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I was at the nurses station when I answered a phone call from a Doctor's Fiancee. She asked if she can speak to Dr. So and So...I told her to wait a few minutes. Well...a few minutes turned into several minutes since he was busy with patients.

His fiancee then proceeded to yell at me profusely saying I'm not doing my job. I've seen her at the hospital before walking around like she's all that.

The kicker is...she's my age 23...and her fiancee is a 35 year old surgeon.

She's a Teacher...if she treats her students as badly as she treats anyone else...I truely feel bad for those kids.

Also, what am I? Your fiancee's secretary? I'm a nurse.

How scandalous.

I met my husband nearly 7 years ago when I was your age. He was 43. I just didn't rope me in a surgeon. I got me something better - a nurse! Fortunately, I was able to see that he was exceptionally wonderful to elderly people that he had no relation to. That is far more important than to get glued too much to how old or young he should be to be "acceptable." We also had the same huge distaste for the gossip that clouds any nursing facility and chose not to participate in it, so we became friendly that way as well.

Anyway, did she do something to you personally besides get impatient on the phone?

Haha thank you for a good laugh :loveya: I'm 29 and my BF is 39...He must be a .....:loveya:

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Amazing that he has no pager in this day and age.

I would just say he's with a patient and tell her to try calling again in a short while. Apologize for not having time to take a message but you have an emergency and must run. Or say you'll tell him IF you see him but can't promise, as you have an emergency.

She needs to get used to the life of a doctor's "wife" and you need to stop worrying about her age, their dating practices, and the like.

Stop answering the phone, if at all possible. That solves a lot.

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I would politely and privately inform the surgeon of what happened.

I would mention it something like this so he doesn't feel he has to defend her, "Your fiance called for you and I was happy to pass along the message for you...but after I went back to the phone and informed her that you were with patients, she actually screamed at me on the phone and accused me of not doing my job...I'm ok...I'm a big girl...I don't expect you to comment on it...but I just felt that you should know what happened."

Then drop it.

He is dating a 23-year-old immature twit that thinks she has 'arrived' and he just might cancel the wedding so fast her head would swim if she starts to embarrass him professionally.

He NEEDS to know....the next person that she screams at may be his Medical Director.

He needs to know but NOT FROM THE OP. Let him find out some other way. OP owes him nothing and all that will come from her criticizing the fiance, however gently, is a possibly angry reaction and seeking of revenge. OP, STAY OUT OF IT. Do your carping here, not anywhere the doctor. Your wellbeing is on the line.
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Specializes in NICU, Post-partum.
He needs to know but NOT FROM THE OP. Let him find out some other way. OP owes him nothing and all that will come from her criticizing the fiance, however gently, is a possibly angry reaction and seeking of revenge. OP, STAY OUT OF IT. Do your carping here, not anywhere the doctor. Your wellbeing is on the line.

To me, when you sit and do nothing you are giving that person permission to do it to someone else.

She would not be bashing the fiance...she is simply stating the facts of the phone call.

People get angry when they are expected to defend on the spot or if you are confrontational with them.

If you do it respectfully, privately, quietly...even apologetically...he would have to be a fairly big jerk to go off on the nurse.

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If you do it respectfully, privately, quietly...even apologetically...he would have to be a fairly big jerk to go off on the nurse.

or, he could feel just as entitled as his fiancee did.

you know, one of 'those docs' with the God complex?

personally, i'd blow it and her, off.

i couldn't be bothered by the likes of her.

leslie

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Specializes in Ante-Intra-Postpartum, Post Gyne.

I would just drop it. If she calls again the tell her you will page him over head. Then if he takes a long time to come to the phone she can be mad at him.

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I did try to tell the Doctor nicely...but he absolutely snapped at me.

I pursued Nursing to marry a Doctor...but I feel as if I chose the wrong profession since so many are in relationships, engaged, or married to Teachers.

What is so special about Teachers...that Doctor's prefer them over us...when we're right in front of them.

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Specializes in Critical Care.
that technique works well -- i've even used it, in the days before hipaa became law -- on an incumbant president of the united states.

ok ruby...now that's a story i'd love to hear!

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Specializes in Critical Care.
I did try to tell the Doctor nicely...but he absolutely snapped at me.

I pursued Nursing to marry a Doctor...but I feel as if I chose the wrong profession since so many are in relationships, engaged, or married to Teachers.

What is so special about Teachers...that Doctor's prefer them over us...when we're right in front of them.

You became a nurse to marry a doctor??? Are you serious??? I can't imagine going through all the he-- of nursing school, putting up with all the on-the-job stress to use that as a reason to become a nurse. Good luck to you, I hope your wish really comes out..but if it doesn't what are you going to do???

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Specializes in ob/gyn med /surg.

i probably would of explained to her when she first called that he was in with a patient and would be with her in a few minutes... then i would go into the patients room and just let him know he had a phone call and who it was from , would he like to give her a message.. or call her back.... then tell her what was going on.... i would never hang up on anyone inless they called me a name that i can't post ,,, there are alot of rude people in the world .. but don't stoop to their level .. but just be professional ... ... in my 25 years of nursing i think i only hung up on one or 2 people... then they called me back and apologized....... i usually warn people before i hang up on them.. i'll say" i'm sorry i cannot talk to you when you scream at me " , but it's been so long since i have had that problem .. ... i can't remember how i handled it .... but always put your best foot foward... be kind and be professional .. even if they are not professional

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Don't feed it.

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Specializes in ob/gyn med /surg.

QT pie... you became a nurse to marry a doctor?? lol... really... good luck .... teachers have alot to give and i love them.. i have 6 children and love their teachers.. don't you go putting down teachers.. they work hard and have a tough job.. they have alot to give... QT .. you didn't hang up on her because you were jealous did you? maybe this young lady is very nice person , and they have interests in common...

my sister's husband is a doctor and she is a RN , but they knew each other before he was a doctor and she was a nurse... they were high school sweethearts and went to college togther....

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