doctor with unprofessional personal life

[heart2nurse]

a doctor whom i work with is a female and she is really nice, but i know for a fact that her husband is a major alcoholic (literally drinks every waking minute) and he also smokes weed. she smokes a few cigarettes a day, but as far as i knwo she doesn't do alcohol or drugs like her husband.....should i do/say something. i don't really feel like i want to hurt her but it really bothers me that she lives like that and comes t work every day preaching about good health and care for your body... i am so torn. any comments?

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

a doctor whom i work with is a female and she is really nice, but i know for a fact that her husband is a major alcoholic (literally drinks every waking minute) and he also smokes weed. she smokes a few cigarettes a day, but as far as i knwo she doesn't do alcohol or drugs like her husband.....should i do/say something. i don't really feel like i want to hurt her but it really bothers me that she lives like that and comes t work every day preaching about good health and care for your body... i am so torn. any comments?

How did you acquire this information?

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

How did you acquire this information?

Gossip.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

I dont know what reason.I cant imagine what you are so torn about? Have you never heard of a "doctor" that smokes, is overweight, doesnt eat properly, etc? They are human, ya know????? Seriously, unless you left out a ton of info in your post, I really dont get it.

There have been a couple of long and heated threads about this. While few of us are "torn". There are people that are bothered by overweight, smoking health profressionals advising patients on how to loose weight and quit smoking. It always ends bad with "I'm overweight (or I smoke) and how dare you judge......are you perfect?.............I'm only human.....etc. etc. etc." Always ends bad.

But yes, a few of us might be bothered by it. I'm certainly not "torn" and mind my own business, which is what I advise the original poster to do. But I am bothered by it sometimes.

(No, I'm not perfect, I drink too much coffee, don't sleep well, need to exercise more, and don't follow a perfect diet either.)

[Katydidit34]

I don't think any of us would like to have our personal lives so closely scrutinized. The hope is that everyone is striving to improve their lives. We all share that common thread of being fallable human beings. Just because a doctor or nurse is educated, doesn't mean that they don't have a frame of reference that causes them to fall into dysfunction. We don't go to college and receive some kind of epiphony about how we should live our lives. We learn how to care for others and that should be our primary concern. Being the child of an alcoholic, I can tell you that you CANNOT control the person with the disease. All you can do is pray that they come to the place where they desire help. My dad, the physician, put up with my mother, the alcoholic for years, but it NEVER compromised his ability to care for his patients. You shouldn't say anything to this doctor but maybe pray for her and her husband and be grateful that you aren't having to deal with this in your own life.

[unknown99, BSN, RN]

Would you want people digging into your personal private life??? I doubt the doctor wants it done to her!

[Chad_KY_SRNA]

We all make stupid or dangerous decisions in our personal lives. You gotta die sometime anyway. We cannot try to force our personal beliefs on others, it doesn't tend to go well.

[z's playa]

I agree with everyone else. Keep your nose out of it.

Z

[CrunchRN, ADN, RN]

Totally not your business - I am sorry if that is harsh, but how would you want others to treat you? Is care given safely? If so the rest is not your issue unless she ask's for your help. It is good to care, but just need to be aware of appropriate boundries. I am sure your intentions are good so please do not be offended by my opinion.

[UM Review RN, ASN, RN]

a doctor whom i work with is a female and she is really nice, but i know for a fact that her husband is a major alcoholic (literally drinks every waking minute) and he also smokes weed. she smokes a few cigarettes a day, but as far as i knwo she doesn't do alcohol or drugs like her husband.....should i do/say something. i don't really feel like i want to hurt her but it really bothers me that she lives like that and comes t work every day preaching about good health and care for your body... i am so torn. any comments?

Yes, I know a couple of cardiologists and a couple of male coworkers who frequent local lap-dancing bars. I don't want to say how I know. Though it does cause really scarey (as in Ewwww!) images to come to mind, all of these coworkers are very professional on the job, and have never given me a problem, nor have they behaved anything but professionally around their patients.

So I respectfully suggest minding your own business.

[sunnyjohn]

I am sure you mean well.

Think about it. It probably tears this female doctor up every day to have to come in and take care of other people when she cannot help her own husband.

Her personal life is no one's business.

[Nemhain]

Ummm, not to be rude, but how is it your business what happens in her home? You said that she does not do drugs. Smoking cigarettes is not illegal. Why should she be penalized for the actions of her husband. It is her job to come to work talking about good healthcare for your body. She is a doctor. There is absolutely nothign to be "torn" about here. Am I missing something????

Just for curiosity's sake, whom would you tell and/or what would you do??

I agree.

[sunnyjohn]

Hehe, this is the first thread on allnurses where everyone has been in agreement.

"And I am unanimous in that!"