Do you get annoyed when people ask you about your job outside of work?

Hoosier_RN, MSN · Oct 28, 2021

12 hours ago, Davey Do said:

Three words people love to hear over dinner:

"Draining anal fistula."

That'll shut em up! If it doesn't, give them an application for nursing school!

NightNerd, MSN, RN · Oct 28, 2021

I guess I'm pretty lucky, because I feel like my family and friends have made it a point *not* to ask how it's going as a nurse these days. The most people have done is essentially wish me luck and send thinking-of-you texts - which I deeply appreciate!

If anyone does ask, I would probably just admit that yes, it's been stressful and scary at times; thank you for asking; how's your job/family/whatever they like to talk about. I think most people are well intentioned and are trying to give us the opportunity to share our experiences, as well as satisfy some curiosity. I never feel obligated to share specifics or linger on the subject, because I'm dealing with it in my own way, but unless someone's truly being intrusive they usually get the hint when you change the subject.

Now, what I wish acquaintances would stop doing is asking for medical advice. It will always be, "Check with your PCP," (or, "Just get vaccinated," depending on the question, LOL).

Davey Do · Oct 28, 2021

The only one even vaguely interested in my and Belinda's nursing career that we socialized with was my little sister, Cat. Cat had been a CNA, worked with the DD population for nearly 30 years before her death.

Cat's husband had been a plumber who worked at Lowes. I think the common thread which ran between us was our common interest in people's behavior. We could all relate to that.

My male friends weren't all that in to or interested in my nursing career. Having dinner together with my friends and their wives was like a Dean Martin Celebrity Roast, and we each took turns roasting each other.

It's all in my latest children's book:

140346514_sissynurse2.jpg.075a584e7b4555a631fc0557ceaa92f0.jpg

RNperdiem, RN · Oct 28, 2021

No, I don't get annoyed when people ask me about work. They are probably just being polite or maybe are curious.

If I don't feel like talking about work, I give a "wet blanket" answer that discourages further exploration and I redirect the conversation in another direction. That way the person who asked an innocent question does not feel awkward, and I don't have to talk about work.

"How are things at the hospital?" "Fine", "Nothing new really" "Lots of Covid, nothing exciting" "Same as ever,.... what do you think about the new park opening here" etc.

angeloublue22, BSN, RN · Oct 31, 2021

I'm in psych and while I don't deal much with the medical aspect of COVID, I deal with mental aftermath of death and overall mental strain of both healthcare workers and the general public and it's exhausting. I've taken to just not hanging out with anyone other than other nurses and that's even rare. I just can't be around people on my days off and only other nurses seem to understand I'm not being mean or selfish, I'm trying to save my own sanity and compassion for my patients. My emotional cup gets too full at work and I don't have anymore room for more. Thank goodness for my very understanding husband.

Guest219794 · Nov 1, 2021

Nope. Doesn't bother me.

If it did, I would change the subject.

Lately, if lay people ask, they want to know how Covid is affecting the ER. They don't want the details. I can sum it up in a sentence or two.

EDNURSE20, BSN · Nov 1, 2021

Wait?! You guys actually know people who don’t work in health care??

Other than my family, everyone I know is in healthcare!

BeatsPerMinute, BSN, RN · Nov 1, 2021

On 10/27/2021 at 1:14 AM, DK123 said:

AS a new Nurse that started working at the start of Covid and the height of Covid I have seen a lot of things that made me better, but not pretty things. I've seen people die, I've been involved in investigations etc.. it was so stressful to sleep at times...my sisters friends or family friends when they come over for parties or if we go out to dinner, they're always curious about my nursing life, in my head I'm like I am going out to relax and not think about work, and these people keep bringing up work, and when they bring up work, it causes anxiety for me. I told my sisters friend "I don't want to talk about it" when she asked how is it being a nurse during Covid. She blankly stared at me like why I just said that, but its the reality.

It might be odd for some cause yes we are all proud to talk about our careers and all, like my sisters friend is an accountant so she talks about her company firm how they made it through covid, but for me the topics I listed just cause me to be very upset and I am very sensitive.

Great ideas posted so far... in summary, if I were in a place where I would really rather not talk about work and have made myself clear:

#1: Talk about a patient case that includes (in great detail) stuff that is absolutely vile or depressing to listen to over dinner... Continue until the questions stop

#2: Repeatedly say "I would rather not talk about it at this time" (or something like that ... and then stick to your guns. absolutely can offer to talk about it later... that is up to you). Blanket statements are OK. #boundaries.

#3 Redirect the conversation (see above)

I totally understand the upsetting feelings and being super sensitive... I live there most days. However, you cannot help others if you do not put up boundaries that protect YOU. YOU cannot help others if your own cup is empty. And if your fam/ friends are not being very helpful, there is a kind way to communicate that. it's simple however it is not easy. Even then - if they do not understand it nor get it - you're still not alone ❤️

**CommunityRNBSN, BSN, RN** · Nov 1, 2021

"What do you do?" and "How's work going?" are the top conversation starters in any social gathering. Some people are uncomfortable with it for a variety of reasons-- if you're unemployed it may be embarrassing, or, like you, you just don't feel like talking about it. So you just politely redirect. "Oh, it's been stressful, but honestly hasn't the pandemic been hard on everyone? How's work been for you? How are the kids?" That's all you have to do. People always prefer to talk about themselves anyway so they'll take the bait.

To me, "I don't want to talk about it" seems a little melodramatic, but I'm probably overthinking it. Just say it with a smile if that's what you want to say.

Msmedic68w, MSN, RN · Nov 5, 2021

It wouldn't matter what you did for a living. Asking people about their jobs is what people do to make light conversation and pleasantry. I think you're being way too sensitive about this and putting too much thought into it. Do you not ask people about how their work is going? Nobody asked you to tell any war stories of the hospital....We're nurses not Bruce Wayne, it's not like we have to keep our identities hidden. Just answer something short, sweet and to the point and move on with your day...

NutmeggeRN, BSN · Nov 8, 2021

I'm honest. I'm a school nurse is a small town and most everybody knows my name. When they ask "how are things are going?" l tell them, Some days suck, some days are awesome. Covid is hard on everyone and I am having no fun isolating or quarantining kids, when I know it is a really a burden on a working family. We have our own live dashboard and I refer people to that. If theyra re unhappy with the the way things are going, I always invite them to attend the next school board meeting or to contact the main office. If they ask my opinion on vaccines, I give it, without hyperbole. If they want to argue I tell them I am not engaging and then change the subject.

MSRM · Nov 9, 2021

After a bad experience, I learned not to talk much. Even co-workers who you worked with for a long time can use any information you shared in confidence when the going gets rough. If people now asked me, I will say none of your business in a polite way. Lesson learned--do not trust anyone outside yourself.