Diversity/Religion In The Workplace

[RutgersFlower2016]

Today, my friend told me the saddest story I ever heard. She had applied for a job and had been pining to get this gig for months. Finally a few months ago they contacted her for an interview. Culturally, she likes to wear a head wrap and has been doing so for as long as I have known her. Plus her boyfriend is Jewish and plans on marrying him and wants to get use to the idea of wearing it everyday. Well she decided that she would be herself and interview for the job as herself, tichel/head covering and all. The first interview went off without a hitch but she said she was asked if she was Muslim during the interview. I guess to explain her wearing the head covering. She replied no and left it at that. She was contacted for a second interview. Went well. Several months later she was hired. She attended orientation which lasted for several weeks. Than out of the blue, one of her supervisors called her to the side one day and asked her if she was Muslim, again she answered no, she even asked her if something was wrong with her hair, she replied no. The supervisor told her that she needed to come to work the next day with her hair out. She ignored that request and went to work as herself. The second day, she was requested to meet with one for her higher ranking superiors regarding her hair. Long story short, she was pretty much told that it was policy and she could not wear her hair covered to work. She explained that for weeks, she walked around with head covering and nobody said anything to her about it. She was told that if she pretty much did not show up without head covering she would lose her job, plus she was knew so they had no problem doing it. It made her very uncomfortable to the point of tears when she told me. She plans on quitting and looking for a new job. This is the world we live in. My heart is broken for her and she is still crying.

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

Or "Christians in Syria"... although fair warning: what is seen cannot be unseen. Some of those pictures are THE most disturbing images I have ever seen. I knew generally what was going on, and I have a strong stomach. I became tachycardic while looking and had nightmares.

Or how many hundreds of thousands of Christians and political prisoners being starved and worked to death in North Korean prison camps?

...

Vietnam ended more than 40 years ago. It was only 2 years ago, though, that the remains of one of our USAF pilots, my friend's brother, was allowed to be brought home. For more than four decades, his family was not even told that he was deceased. And they still don't know if he was captured alive and held as a POW or died when his plane was shot down or what. You can imagine the suffering of his parents, siblings, extended family, and friends. Talk about inhumanity and unnecessary cruelty...

[KatieMI, BSN, MSN, RN]

I heard of a case in France in which some Orthodox Jewish boys weren't allowed to keep wearing the yamikas (skull caps) in public school, so I'm not sure there is a right to wear religious attire on a job.

And what's with the crying? Why cry? Just behave like an adult. Unless she's going for pain and suffering/emotional distress.

In France, there is a state law which prohibits ANY religious-associated items while being in certain, mostly goverment-controlled, places of work and study. There's no difference if you're Christian, Muslim, Jewish or follower of any other religion - you can't wear anything connected with it, or at least make it visible. Those who don't like it are welcome into privately-owned facilities.

Again, it prohibits all and any religious- or "culturally"-associated garb, jewelry, etc. Total equality of a sort, which is causing palpable brain drain from some French academic institutions.

Reg. crying - I was crying all right when I once was made writing "explanatory note" to my so-called NM because I brought for lunch a soup which one of my then-coworkers reported as being "offensive" to her due to bright red color (no, it did not smelled like crazy, it was just red). My story was definitely not the saddest one in the world that day, but it was sad enough to me. I did not leave my family and my friends forever and go through hell of immigration just to be treated like that in the country which boasts itself as a beacon of freedom and integration.

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

Katie, you might want to read the OP again. She described this as the "saddest thing she'd ever heard" and that her "heart is breaking" over it. That's pretty dramatic. She was also very clear that her friend refused to elaborate on her reason for wearing whatever it is on her head which she described as "culturally she likes to wear a head-wrap". She also stated her friend decided to go to the interview "as herself". My understanding of head covering for religious reasons is it has to do with modesty and obedience NOT somebody expressing their individuality. I'll agree that HR should not have asked her if she was "muslim" but I'm thinking the rep was probably trying NOT to be offensive and stumbled with her words. Yes, she should have cut to the chase and asked if she was wearing the hat/scarf/whatever for religious reasons which would be perfectly fine but in this day and age of PC gone awry it's no wonder she was inelegant in her word choice. As for letting her wear it for a bit before saying anything I think there is a good chance the staff let it go to see if it would continue in the interest of being welcoming but when it didn't stop they realized something had to be done.

I'm sorry you were discriminated against and I'm sure this is something you are sensitive about but in this case the OP's friend brought the situation upon herself.

Nothing had to be done. They hired her with it, let her work with it. Nothing had to be done.

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

In France, there is a state law which prohibits ANY religious-associated items while being in certain, mostly goverment-controlled, places of work and study. There's no difference if you're Christian, Muslim, Jewish or follower of any other religion - you can't wear anything connected with it, or at least make it visible. Those who don't like it are welcome into privately-owned facilities.

Again, it prohibits all and any religious- or "culturally"-associated garb, jewelry, etc. Total equality of a sort, which is causing palpable brain drain from some French academic institutions.

Reg. crying - I was crying all right when I once was made writing "explanatory note" to my so-called NM because I brought for lunch a soup which one of my then-coworkers reported as being "offensive" to her due to bright red color (no, it did not smelled like crazy, it was just red). My story was definitely not the saddest one in the world that day, but it was sad enough to me. I did not leave my family and my friends forever and go through hell of immigration just to be treated like that in the country which boasts itself as a beacon of freedom and integration.

Red soup, huh? Wow, what was up with your coworker??? Maybe she was a bull and the red revved up her blood? Why in the world would your NM get involved in that? That is really insane.

Perhaps everyone wears a dress or suit made from a flour sack in France? What type of government does France have? So-called democracy? Communist? Socialist? Other?

[Sour Lemon]

I wonder if they were asking her to see if she qualified for an exemption from the dress code? ...doesn't make much sense that they'd hire her when she interviewed with it, then discriminate against her for being "Muslim". Has she told anyone that it's a religious covering? I'm not sure she could claim religious discrimination if she hasn't ....I acknowledge that I'm no lawyer, though.

She wan't discriminated against for being Muslim. Read the OP.

I did read the original post. Perhaps you should read about the use of scare quotes?

[Wuzzie]

Nothing had to be done. They hired her with it, let her work with it. Nothing had to be done.

Yes they did let her work with it probably because they were trying to figure out to handle it and she wasn't helping by being evasive.

[Wuzzie]

Reg. crying - I was crying all right when I once was made writing "explanatory note" to my so-called NM because I brought for lunch a soup which one of my then-coworkers reported as being "offensive" to her due to bright red color (no, it did not smelled like crazy, it was just red). My story was definitely not the saddest one in the world that day, but it was sad enough to me. I did not leave my family and my friends forever and go through hell of immigration just to be treated like that in the country which boasts itself as a beacon of freedom and integration.

Well that's just plain stupid and mean and your managers should have told your co-worker to go pound sand. You weren't violating any policy. This is not the case here.

BTW...I love Borscht!

[Neats, BSN]

Jewish Hair coverings:

In todays society most conservatives and Reform Jewish communities females do not cover their hair but do encourage hair covering when in prayer or learning the Torah (due to requirement of the kippah). Orthodox Jewish members and their Rabbis require hair covering for all married women or when in a Synagogue. Most women today use the hair covering as a symbol of tradition...I can just see me a German Jew who wears my dirndl (tradition) and hair covering (tradition) to the my medical job (I am smiling at this, as it would never happen). Also women can wear a wig over their head covering also called a sheitel- just a fun fact for all you eager learners.

Muslim hair coverings:

In the Quran 24:31 women must wrap a portion of their headcovers over their chest and not expose (their skin i.e. arms, legs)...except to husbands, brothers, sons in short other men in their family. If you ask most Muslims why wear a Hijab they will tell you because Allah said so.

Much controversy is made of this because it can be interpreted as a veil or even a tablecloth!, in the Quran. In todays society to many Muslims it means to dress moderately and not draw attention to yourself. Reality is there really is no mandated Islam wearing of the Hijab and it is really used for tradition.

For every one Quran verse that will tell you to cover there is an equal one that you can use to promote self respect and just not attract attention to your self...to each his own.

For this employee who was wearing the head covering, we do not know the whole story and it appears she did not make a case for herself. I am not on the fence about this..if this was to train for Jewish religion or Muslim religion then she should speak up for her beliefs and let the fallout come. I would certainly exhaust all my options before hiring an attorney and really try to come to a mutual understanding with my HR and supervisors. I would certainly tell my friend to bring concerns to HR and supervisors with possible solutions.

The only clothing that would upset me in the work place are offensive tee shirts, torn/dirty clothing, shirts exposing chest area, pants exposing your butt crack and maybe crocs.

[MunoRN, RN]

It doesn't appear that her use of a head covering is due to a deeply held religious belief, so there would be no religious discrimination case to make.

[Emergent, RN]

Personally, I don't understand the rule making a fuss over this. Cooks are supposed to wear head coverings. It's considered more hygienic. I like to wear scarves on my hair and if I could wear one at work that would be better for controlling my hair.

It used to be a part of nurse attire to wear some sort of bonnet. It was a cultural norm of the time for women to wear caps and such. It was considered unseemly for a man to wear a hat indoors, but the norm for women.

Obviously a baseball cap would be tacky and inappropriate. But I don't understand why it's so taboo to cover one's head with a simple scarf

[~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN]

I popped some popcorn and read this whole thread. I laughed a lot (it's ok though because I did forward that post on FB so Jesus loves me) I rolled my eyes a bit, especially about it being the saddest thing the OP ever heard of. Not just because of what's going on in other countries, but the terrible things happening to people here in our own country. But hey, maybe the OP has had a really really good and happy life and has been sheltered by the terrible deeds of this world. I dunno. I wanted to take shots for every time a sentence was started with "actually" I would be feeling really good right now. I also had to cringe at this "I'm guessing he's not the normal type of Jewish," The normal type of Jewish eh?? LMAO I think that got the biggest eye roll yet.

Anyway, I ran out of popcorn so I'll be back.

[kakamegamama]

And since I'm feeling salty today. This is the "saddest story" you have ever heard? May I suggest you google "Syria+children" for a little perspective?

I concur. I found myself wondering what type of protected life the OP lives in that this would be the saddest story.....I think her perspective is askance........