Did I Miss Something?

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Because I'd be willing to swear that this is the year 2009. The reason I ask is, yesterday, I went to my MIL's house with hubby (Oh, JOY!), and we had lunch. I was in the kitchen, helping cook, and my grandmother in law, who I love comes in. My MIL was explaining (ad nauseum) how to prepare steak and gravy (dis-GUST), since it is one of hubby's favorites. I don't touch red meat, have never eaten a hamburger, so there's no way I'd know how to fix that.

I digress. So anyway, there I am, cooking away, minding my business, and my GIL pipes up to ask how my new NP job is going. I tell her all about it, and say that I like it, and she seems happy about that, then asks the question that made my jaw drop.

"Well, do you have dinner waiting on DH every night?"

Excuse me?

Did we just warp back to 1950?

Did we not just establish the fact that we BOTH work? How his job disables him from cooking was never determined. The fact that I now hold 2 Master's degrees and an NP job, forget it. I'm a horrible wife because I have a career and don't accept the role of some Stepford Suzy Homemaker.

Have dinner waiting on him every night, my foot!

So, all you medical professionals out there, what's the absolute DUMBEST thing a family member has said to you with regard (or no regard) to the work we do?

Specializes in ICU, Home Health Care, End of Life, LTC.
I don't allow my husband to touch laundry any longer. He's an idiot. His idea of "helping" is to do a load, put it in the dryer and do another load, stack the dry load on top of the dryer without folding, put another load in the dryer and another in the washer and then leave them.

Thanks a whole lot, nimrod.

And he's actually pleased with himself for doing it. He doesn't get that I now have to iron it all because he let the wrinkles set. And then kill him.

Hey that's what I do! I am lucky to have a "SuperWife" she works full time and takes care of most of the household stuff. I know I am spoiled but I think there is also trade off. I take care of other things. Well I do! More power to you all and if you have constructive ideas for creating a team work environment let me know. I really know I should help out more.

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I really know I should help out more.

Pick up after yourself.

If there's a choice between the sink and the dishwasher put it in the dishwasher. If it's full, empty it.

If you're passing through and it belongs in the sink, hamper, bedroom, whatever pick it up and put it where it goes.

If you use the last of something tell her.

Shut the bathroom door when you're emitting fumes, noises, and substances.

:)

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^^^ HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

Why does that all seem like common sense to us?

I don't have anything in particular. My husband was confused at first that I didn't do all the household duties. His mom never worked. She stayed at home and raised two kids, no matter how many hours her husband had to work to make it possible. So to marry someone with a career... it's been an adjustment. He's learned that if he wants it clean, he can do it himself because it'll be a whole heck of a lot faster than waiting for me to do it.

My sister, on the other hand, has gotten a lot of crap from my mom and grandma. She has a very successful career, doesn't want kids, and didn't get married until she was 34 (last year). Our mom and grandma ALWAYS made comments about how she must be so lonely and how her life must be so unfulfilling because she doesn't have a husband or kids to take care of. Uh... newsflash... she has a career and a life she LOVES. GET OVER IT.

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Specializes in CDI Supervisor; Formerly NICU.
I don't allow my husband to touch laundry any longer. He's an idiot. His idea of "helping" is to do a load, put it in the dryer and do another load, stack the dry load on top of the dryer without folding, put another load in the dryer and another in the washer and then leave them.

Thanks a whole lot, nimrod.

And he's actually pleased with himself for doing it. He doesn't get that I now have to iron it all because he let the wrinkles set. And then kill him.

So, what are you saying here? That that's...wrong? :smokin:

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Specializes in LTC.

when i was a newer lpn my grandma asked me to take her b/p...it was a lil high and she proceeds to say 'well ill have ur sister check it since she's a real nurse (rn) so never mind' OH H*@! NO!!!

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Have dinner waiting on him every night, my foot!

My husband's been gone now for almost six years. I would give anything to be able to fix dinner for him just one more time.

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Specializes in ICU, Telemetry.

Ya'll, I think my sister will take the prize....

Thanksgiving dinner. Family, her inlaws, general theatrical production at her house.

I'd had to come at the last minute, after working crazy hours to get off for thanksgiving and the day after (worked christmas and New Years to get it). Somebody asked if I could go shopping on "Black Friday" and I said no, I had to drive back to be at work Saturday night and needed to get home and sleep.

She looks at me and says, "well, when you work a blue collar job, that kind of thing's to be expected."

And no, I didn't smack her in the head with the turkey. But I really, REALLY wanted to.

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

Whew - I have it very lucky. Hubby and I were both active duty military when we met and married and had oldest son. Because we lived in Japan and were allowed only one car, we had a bike and a car. Sometimes in our crazy schedule we exchanged the baby on the flightline - kinda like a chinese fire drill - whoever had the baby got the car!

lol - hubby and I now live separately due to a job situation and yes indeed, his house is spotless while mine is less than spotless!

Dumbest thing anyone said to me was at a business dinner of my husband's when the jerk sitting next to me asked me what I did and when I said I was an APN asked if I could write him a script for Vicodin?????

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Specializes in Peds Hem, Onc, Med/Surg.
:D my mother asked me the other day what was I going to when I got married since I don't cook. I answered order take out. :D
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Specializes in LTC/Rehab,Med/Surg, OB/GYN, Ortho, Neuro.

Wow, guess I'm lucky as far as housework/chores go. DH and DDx2 keep the house looking great on my working days. When I'm off, I do them, just b/c I feel like I'm not doing enough. DH and I take turns on making dinner, and on the nights we're both too tired... that's what delivery was invented for :)

The biggest issue I have w/ DH is getting him to understand that sometimes, I do have to stay late. It drives him up a wall if I'm not home 30 min after the end of my shift. He works for the city, so when 5 o'clock comes around, everyone is already getting in their cars, and he thinks that's how it should be for me too. Ummm, hello, emergencies happen, crappy shifts happen, we don't have the luxury of saying "Leave it, we'll finish up tomorrow."

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Specializes in Hospice.

It doesn't matter that I do cook for my husband probably 5 nights a week... my family and my husband's still make jokes about "Why did you even bother to put a stove in that kitchen since she never cooks?" Luckily my DH sticks up for me... he'd better if he wants to keep those 5 nights. I also get all kinds of "stupid" stuff from my grandparents about me being an LPN. Papa: So what are you going to be when you graduate LPN school? Me: I'm going to be a nurse. Papa: Oh so you're going to be like a nurse! Me: :banghead: The cake went to my ex-husband who worked 1st shift and I worked 1-9PM. He would call me at work and ask what I was cooking for dinner even though he had been sitting at home since 4 PM. Did I mention he's my EX husband??

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Specializes in Peds Critical Care, Dialysis, General.
Husbands I would train. Old folks from my generation or later I can not, frankly, imagine wasting the energy to get upset at their attitudes. "Don't worry, Grandma, I take good care of Jimmy." It how they were raised and my goodness, my mother still can't figure out the now-defunct VCR. I should expect her to grasp changing social mores?

Not worth the energy.

:yeahthat:

My precious daddy never dressed himself, especially for church on Sunday, in 52 years of marriage to my mother. Now, we're all helping him out. He can use the vacuum very nicely. His laundry skills improved during her illness and after her death, we just starting writing down things for him to remember.

My dear MIL, rest her soul, was flabbergasted that her son left messes all around. Never happened in her house, no sir-ree. Figured it was because she cleaned up as soon as he left something out.

Gotta love our parents' generation. What will our kids say about us??

Cindy

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