Did I Miss Something?

[AngelfireRN]

Because I'd be willing to swear that this is the year 2009. The reason I ask is, yesterday, I went to my MIL's house with hubby (Oh, JOY!), and we had lunch. I was in the kitchen, helping cook, and my grandmother in law, who I love comes in. My MIL was explaining (ad nauseum) how to prepare steak and gravy (dis-GUST), since it is one of hubby's favorites. I don't touch red meat, have never eaten a hamburger, so there's no way I'd know how to fix that.

I digress. So anyway, there I am, cooking away, minding my business, and my GIL pipes up to ask how my new NP job is going. I tell her all about it, and say that I like it, and she seems happy about that, then asks the question that made my jaw drop.

"Well, do you have dinner waiting on DH every night?"

Excuse me?

Did we just warp back to 1950?

Did we not just establish the fact that we BOTH work? How his job disables him from cooking was never determined. The fact that I now hold 2 Master's degrees and an NP job, forget it. I'm a horrible wife because I have a career and don't accept the role of some Stepford Suzy Homemaker.

Have dinner waiting on him every night, my foot!

So, all you medical professionals out there, what's the absolute DUMBEST thing a family member has said to you with regard (or no regard) to the work we do?

[Angie1011]

Thankfully my husband is very aware of the demands of my job as he's a physiotherapist and works with nurses on a daily basis and as far as chores go in our house, it's strictly 50/50.

Some of my friends however, are a different story and are clearly confused as to the job description of an RN.

I was talking to one a few weeks ago who started to tell me about how her manager had left her with an irrate customer (she works in sales) and how she thought that was entirely inappropriate and that she had feared for her safety. She actually went as far as to dramatically state that she thought she was about to be kidnapped by said customer. (Yes, really.)

Her story suddenly reminded me of some news I'd been given earlier in the week and I told her about a mutual friend of ours who is a psych. nurse.

She'd recently been assaulted by a patient and was so severly injured, she ended up in the ER.

My 'friend' simply shrugged at the news and said nonchalantly, 'Well, that's just part of being a nurse.'

Care giver? Yes.

Patient Advocate? Yes.

Teacher? Yes.

Punchbag??! NO!

[RNperdiem, RN]

On the days I work, my husband does all the cooking, cleaning and childcare very competently. I have dinner waiting for me when I come home.

If anyone refers to what he does as "babysitting", it will set him off.

[SaraFL]

My husband's been gone now for almost six years. I would give anything to be able to fix dinner for him just one more time.

I'm a widow too, for 2 years now. It's funny to listen to people complain about their spouses. We can look back and see how trivial those things are, but I sure did my share of it when he was here. LOL

[SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN]

Sara and Pierette, I'm sorry.

But I DO have another story.

We have 5 cats. They appear, seriously, here. One doesn't always like the box. DH's den is upstairs as are the guest rooms. I'm never upstairs. I was ystdy and noticed that it smells like pooh. I aksed him if he noticed it. He said yes. I saw little black streaks on the floor of one of the rooms and asked him if they were cat poop. His answer? "Probably." WHO CAN SIT THERE AND PASS BY POOP ON THE FLOOR FOR DAYS AND NOT PICK IT UP?! Not any woman who doesn't end up on Intervention.

[**All Heart RN**]

Husbands I would train. Old folks from my generation or later I can not, frankly, imagine wasting the energy to get upset at their attitudes. "Don't worry, Grandma, I take good care of Jimmy." It how they were raised and my goodness, my mother still can't figure out the now-defunct VCR. I should expect her to grasp changing social mores?

Not worth the energy.

I get your point but I really think it depends on the subject matter. ALOT has changed in our society since 1950...right this second I can think of 5 major changes (including a few Movements). Ofcourse, we all have to pick our battles but I've been in countless situations where older people are given carte blanche to say anything they want and offend anyone they want because of age and "oh well, their from that generation" and the ever so offensive, "you can't teach an old dog new tricks."

Well, I believe that older peolple have brains and if they have brains than they can take a look around and see just how much our society has changed. Just because I was born in 19__ doesn't give me the right to live in a time warp, especially if what I'm saying is offensive to groups of people.

Ok, I'll jump down from my soapbox now...this is just one of those issues that I've come across so many times and I've usually found that the content of what the older person is saying is quite offensive...so, I'm sorry but I won't be giving out any free passes here.:wink2:

[SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN]

Just because I was born in 19__ doesn't give me the right to live in a time warp, especially if what I'm saying is offensive to groups of people.

Indupitably. But there's a difference between accepting hateful racist speech and a little old lady who was raised to eschew the n word and use "colored" as a polite term.

[**All Heart RN**]

Indupitably. But there's a difference between accepting hateful racist speech and a little old lady who was raised to eschew the n word and use "colored" as a polite term.

I'll have to disagree, once again. Being African-American, the term, "colored" absolutely makes my skin crawl (mostly because it's heavily associated with a time period that was oppressive and violent). I absolutely abhor that word...yes, it's much better than the "n" word but it's still extremely distasteful to me. In fact, every time I hear someone use it (unfortunately, it's been quite a few times), I politely correct them.

In my book, there's no "polite" way to use the abhorrent term "colored". Again, that's just me.

[AngelfireRN, MSN, RN, APRN]

Indupitably. But there's a difference between accepting hateful racist speech and a little old lady who was raised to eschew the n word and use "colored" as a polite term.

And this lady is NOT one of them. She followed the dinner question up not 10 minutes later with "Do y'all notice there are more and more N shows on TV now?" Probably didn't help matters that we were watching "Drumline" at the time. I hate that word, I never use it, and I call out anyone that does. No one in my family is sure how the trait skipped me, but it burns my butt.

BTW, if you have not seen Drumline, I recommend it. Absolutely phenomenal music in that.

[SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN]

I'll have to disagree, once again. Being African-American, the term, "colored" absolutely makes my skin crawl (mostly because it's heavily associated with a time period that was oppressive and violent). I absolutely abhor that word...yes, it's much better than the "n" word but it's still extremely distasteful to me. In fact, every time I hear someone use it (unfortunately, it's been quite a few times), I politely correct them.

In my book, there's no "polite" way to use the abhorrent term "colored". Again, that's just me.

We'll agree to disagree. As a child, back when the earth was cooling, "colored" was acceptable, as evinced by the NAACP using the word. It then became "Negro." That has changed several times since then. There's enough nastiness in the world without ascribing it where it isn't meant.

[~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN]

So I am not a nurse yet but I wanted to smack my dad when he asked me would I ever be graduating.

I spent 1.5 years doing Pre Reqs full time with 3 small kids, got on the wait list for the nursing program which I was on the wait list for 3.5 years before finally starting. In that time I had another kid and got all my Co Reqs done and I have most of my Pre Reqs for a BSN done as well.

So even though I explained the waitlist thing numerous times and how I have no control over it I would always get the comments if I was ever going to graduate, how hard could nursing school be and it's only supposed to take 2 years so what have I been doing.

I am so tired of people thinking the ADN program is "just" 2 years, when you add in your Pre Reqs which you HAVE TO HAVE it's longer then that.

They didn't have the college courses you can take in HS for College Credits and HS credits when I was in HS like they do now where you can get a lot of your pre reqs done that way.

So anyway, not "work" related but same concept LOL

[**All Heart RN**]

We'll agree to disagree. As a child, back when the earth was cooling, "colored" was acceptable, as evinced by the NAACP using the word. It then became "Negro." That has changed several times since then. There's enough nastiness in the world without ascribing it where it isn't meant.

Well, I finally agree with you--in that, we'll agree to disagree ; )

[Tait, MSN, RN]

"You only work three days a week? Well then you have plenty of time to get a second job!"

My father has since relinquished this argument completely after a few "Tales of my day" over Waffle House yummies.

To the posters who have lost their husbands, the mere thought of not having my Jim in my life brings a tightness to my throat I can't even explain. Hence why I don't get on him too much for leaving clothes in the washer, and he doesn't pester me much when I leave dishes in the sink :)

Tait