DH dying-need prayers

[nursejoey05]

I've posted before about my husband being terminally ill and complications that have come up, but this is the worst it has every been. Currently in ICU with ARDS and sepsis, placed on dialysis yesterday. On a vent, paralytic, the whole works.

Miraculously he has been showing signs of improvement. CXR went from a complete white out to having distinguishable upper lobes, heart, ET. That was amazing. Has been running a PEEP of 20. Went in this morning to a stunned looking pulmonologist telling me that the lungs are regaining some elasticity so they got the PEEP down to 8. (PTL!)

I have been glued to his bedside but am home tonight as I had nobody to take care of our 5 year old. Besides she is desperate for some mommy time and vice versa. I was actually sleeping peacefully and his brother called and woke me up. Couldn't go back to sleep and felt God telling me to get on here and get as many prayers as possible going so that dh can get over the hump. My brother in law is an atheist but I continue to witness to him about God in my life and God's ability to heal if it is in his will.

Please, all you that can pray, please help me out on this one. His name is Dan and I love him more than anything. He had not made a decision for the Lord before he was intubated so that is a big reason for wanting him to wake up and have one more chance.

Thanks in advance to all. You guys are wonderful support.

[nursejoey05]

I think I've had missing time because today is Day 26. 26 days in the hospital with 24 of them being in ICU and on the vent. Who would blame me for not knowing what day it is at this point. They had planned to transfer him yesterday, but did a liver CT and it picked up the fluid around his heart again. So doc wanted to do a 2D echo before he sent him. Did that today (it's the same fluid that has been there a week-not new problem) and it showed that it is decreasing in amount. Neuts are up today so they don't want him to leave until infectious disease sees him and makes sure he's not going septic again. His stoma has gone from pink to dark to darker to gray. Output is no stool, just serosanguineous. Had to put a stitch is where the JP was, didn't help. The have an ostomy bag on it now and it is draining about 150 cc/hour of carmel colored liquid. Surgeon came in today and said that there's nothing more he can do about it and they will have to watch it closely. Obviously that's a concern. (When the on call doc was in the other day he told me that in the last 2 years they have seen terrible complications from bad strains of C-Diff.) He continues to make more facial movements and he is tracking me when I change places. So, our saga continues. Thanks for hanging with me.

[MrsWampthang, BSN, RN]

God bless you Joey, I pray that your husband can recover enough to accept the Lord Jesus as his savior. You might see if you can bring in a CD player with head phones for him to listen to and play some Newsboys, or Jars of Clay, or some of those Worship song CDs, also if you are attending church, you might see if they have any recordings of sermons he could listen to. Just a suggestion. I wll continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Pam

[Angels']

nursejoey05:

I am and have prayed for you and your families. I am hurting for you and have placed these prayers in Gods hands, through Jesus, my Savior.

Sincerely,

Angels’

[lcbradley]

God is with you and your family always.

[nursejoey05]

Day 27...it is a saga by now, isn't it? Started today early with the night nurse calling me at the end of her shift to tell me that Dan looked "much worse" than when I left last night and to "be prepared" when I saw him and no way were they transfering him. Then 2 hours later I get a call that he's being transferred in 3 hours. We went to see him and I thought he looked better. So they got him transferred an hour away from home. Well, he got there at 3pm and by the time 8pm vitals rolled around, his BP was 54/22. Of course they all went freaky, asked me if this had happened before and what to do about it. I said, personally, I'd start with fluids and then hit the pressors if that didn't work. So that's what they did. We left at midnight and it was sbp of 94. I suggested continuous monitoring of BP, since it is very labile. I'm a little nervous about the place. They thought he had an ileostomy and a colostomy (remember they put an ostomy bag over the leaking hole where the JP was?). The aide went to empty both bags, didn't know how to undo the clip, and proceeded to spill contents of both bags all of Dan and his bed. Of course I am VERY nice and showed him how to do the clip, helped him clean up Dan and change the bed, and I HIGHLY recommended that if he was going to have his face 2 inches away from the bag when undoing and empltying, that he consider wearing goggles! (He asked why...) After he was done and ready to leave the room, he looked at me and said "you sure are nice". The nurse also told me "thank you for being so nice to me". Do these people get beat on a daily basis or what? I'm just happy to be of assistance--I appreciate the care they give my husband and want them to know it. Anyway, BP was the only issue tonight. Oh, as I eluded to, his ileostomy bag was full of stool. I said PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!! It was poop and not that icky bloody stuff that had us so worried. Not very with it today, but started waking up towards the time we were leaving. Very jaundiced. I asked the lung doc here in town for final advice and he said, "In all fairness, give him 2 to 3 weeks to wake up. If there is no change in 2 to 3 weeks, let him go. But he deserves 2 to 3 weeks." Please pray that I don't have to make THE decision.

[suzanneuthscsa]

My friend,

I will say some more prayers for you and your family tonight. I will pray hard that if you have to make that difficult decision that you will know with conviction and be at peace. My family went through that decision in June of 2004 with my mother-in-law. She was also very young---only 48---but I will tell you the amazing part. She had the most beautiful passing that anyone could have; with her family and six children surrounding her. She was unconscious and silently slipped away within 5 minutes of extubation while we said The Lords's Prayer. Every single person in the room knew that it was time and nobody ever had any regrets. I agree with the doctor that he deserves some time and so do you. That said, I believe in miracles and the enormous healing power of prayer and positive thinking. I know nothing of your husband's original illness as this is the only thread I have read, but he obviously has a valiant, fighting spirit to have come so far. Even though I don't know you my friend, please know that I am with you in spirit and sending my love to comfort you in this difficult time.

Love,

Suzanne

[MrsWampthang, BSN, RN]

Day 27...it is a saga by now, isn't it? Started today early with the night nurse calling me at the end of her shift to tell me that Dan looked "much worse" than when I left last night and to "be prepared" when I saw him and no way were they transfering him. Then 2 hours later I get a call that he's being transferred in 3 hours. We went to see him and I thought he looked better. So they got him transferred an hour away from home. Well, he got there at 3pm and by the time 8pm vitals rolled around, his BP was 54/22. Of course they all went freaky, asked me if this had happened before and what to do about it. I said, personally, I'd start with fluids and then hit the pressors if that didn't work. So that's what they did. We left at midnight and it was sbp of 94. I suggested continuous monitoring of BP, since it is very labile. I'm a little nervous about the place. They thought he had an ileostomy and a colostomy (remember they put an ostomy bag over the leaking hole where the JP was?). The aide went to empty both bags, didn't know how to undo the clip, and proceeded to spill contents of both bags all of Dan and his bed. Of course I am VERY nice and showed him how to do the clip, helped him clean up Dan and change the bed, and I HIGHLY recommended that if he was going to have his face 2 inches away from the bag when undoing and empltying, that he consider wearing goggles! (He asked why...) After he was done and ready to leave the room, he looked at me and said "you sure are nice". The nurse also told me "thank you for being so nice to me". Do these people get beat on a daily basis or what? I'm just happy to be of assistance--I appreciate the care they give my husband and want them to know it. Anyway, BP was the only issue tonight. Oh, as I eluded to, his ileostomy bag was full of stool. I said PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!! It was poop and not that icky bloody stuff that had us so worried. Not very with it today, but started waking up towards the time we were leaving. Very jaundiced. I asked the lung doc here in town for final advice and he said, "In all fairness, give him 2 to 3 weeks to wake up. If there is no change in 2 to 3 weeks, let him go. But he deserves 2 to 3 weeks." Please pray that I don't have to make THE decision.

I think I would be more than a little nervous about that place. Stay very vigilant toward your husband, as he may recieve very substandard care there. I would be prepared to be appalled at his condition when you go see him again. I hope I am wrong though for his sake. What is their nurse to patient ratio there? How many aids do they have? What is the staffing difference between days and nights? If your husbands BP is not really stable, do they have him on any type of telemetry? Does this facility have an area that has continous monitoring? Sorry so many questions, but I'm concerned that your husband may not get good care at this facility and you are going through enough without having to worry about whether he is being taken care of or not. Good luck and God bless. I pray that if you do have to make the decision to let your husband go, that you can do so knowing that you feel at peace with that decision.

Pam

[MMARN, BSN, RN]

Day 27...it is a saga by now, isn't it? Started today early with the night nurse calling me at the end of her shift to tell me that Dan looked "much worse" than when I left last night and to "be prepared" when I saw him and no way were they transfering him. Then 2 hours later I get a call that he's being transferred in 3 hours. We went to see him and I thought he looked better. So they got him transferred an hour away from home. Well, he got there at 3pm and by the time 8pm vitals rolled around, his BP was 54/22. Of course they all went freaky, asked me if this had happened before and what to do about it. I said, personally, I'd start with fluids and then hit the pressors if that didn't work. So that's what they did. We left at midnight and it was sbp of 94. I suggested continuous monitoring of BP, since it is very labile. I'm a little nervous about the place. They thought he had an ileostomy and a colostomy (remember they put an ostomy bag over the leaking hole where the JP was?). The aide went to empty both bags, didn't know how to undo the clip, and proceeded to spill contents of both bags all of Dan and his bed. Of course I am VERY nice and showed him how to do the clip, helped him clean up Dan and change the bed, and I HIGHLY recommended that if he was going to have his face 2 inches away from the bag when undoing and empltying, that he consider wearing goggles! (He asked why...) After he was done and ready to leave the room, he looked at me and said "you sure are nice". The nurse also told me "thank you for being so nice to me". Do these people get beat on a daily basis or what? I'm just happy to be of assistance--I appreciate the care they give my husband and want them to know it. Anyway, BP was the only issue tonight. Oh, as I eluded to, his ileostomy bag was full of stool. I said PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!! It was poop and not that icky bloody stuff that had us so worried. Not very with it today, but started waking up towards the time we were leaving. Very jaundiced. I asked the lung doc here in town for final advice and he said, "In all fairness, give him 2 to 3 weeks to wake up. If there is no change in 2 to 3 weeks, let him go. But he deserves 2 to 3 weeks." Please pray that I don't have to make THE decision.

Man, I hope your husband was transferred to a competent place. I hope that in two weeks your husband is better and you will be spared THAT decision. Be strong. Take strength in what God has promised you and yours in the Mighty Word and hang in there. I know it's easier said than done, but you seem like a VERY strong woman. You are not alone. Not only do you have us in this web site, but you have THE One that matters. Keep your faith in the Lord and the prayers we all say will be heard. God bless you.

[nursemary9, BSN, RN]

Nursejoey,

I continue to pray for you and your husband & the entire family. I read your thread every day to stay in touch.

As the poster above wrote, I am VERY worried about the care your husband will be receiving at this place. I HOPE that I am wrong.I know, tho, that you will be watching everything closely. I just wish that you wouldn't have to do this & that you could relax and know that he was receiving the best.

Anyway, I know you will keep us informed on his condition. Again, I'm praying & have asked our Chaplin to also keep you all in his prayers.

Mary Ann

[tencat]

We're hanging with you, Nursejoey. Just remember that God/Jesus is so much more than all of us and more forgiving and loving than we can begin to understand. When the time comes, I know He will embrace your husband. Keep faith.

[EricJRN, MSN, RN]

I think the fact that you're able to remain calm and nice really says a lot for you. There are just so many things that seem so unfair about the whole illness/situation and the stress really would test anyone's patience. It sounds like the staff already likes you a lot. Hopefully this will make them go the extra mile for your husband and provide the best care for him that they know how to provide.

You are in our thoughts!

[mc3, ASN, RN]

Will say a prayer for you, your dtr and your hubby tonight. I am so sorry this is happening to you.

mc3((((()))))