I am particularly chatty with one of the younger doctors. Never thought anything of it, although he has been mildly flirtatious in the past. Then today, he initiates a conversation and he is laying on the compliments really thick. Now, I really like this guy as a person and would hate to have to lose the comraderie we have built over the past six months. But, it is kind of wierd to have someone that you call by a title be that attentive.
Any of you have a similar situation and how did you deal with it.
By the way, I am married and feel as if I have not done anything to encourage this behavior. I greet nearly all the friendly doctors the same way, though this doctor is my favorite d/t his easygoing ways.
We actually had a MAJOR problem in ICU with this sort of thing.
Very attractive female nurse who was one of those who was gifted both looks AND personality. Not to mention she knew her stuff forwards and backwards (Thinking of having it put in a directive that should I need ICU care, this nurse is to be the one taking care of ME!)
Anyway, had a 3rd year IM resident who was from a large progam and was doing his rural rotations. He started giving her a hard time and she really was not interested. Seems the fact that she was married seemed to have a little something to do with that.
One day the resident told her (in front of the entire station AND his attending) that she was a nurse and her part of her job was to 'entertain' him.
Guess who got asked to leave? :roll
Guess who got a nasty letter sent back to his program? :roll
Guess who will never show is face in our area again? :roll
We actually had a MAJOR problem in ICU with this sort of thing.
One day the resident told her (in front of the entire station AND his attending) that she was a nurse and her part of her job was to 'entertain' him.
Dave
Guess he missed Sexual Harassment 101 in med school, eh?My answer would be "I'm too busy entertaining a lawsuit".
Sadly, there are always one or two nurses who DO flirt and enjoy barroom talk on the job...so some docs might tend to think 'we're all alike' and every pretty face is fair game.
Do they even get Sexual Harrassment 101 in med school? haha But you are right Mattsmom -- many nurses do that and they may make the assumption that we all are alike [course you know what happens when you ass-u-me :roll ]. We had one nurse that I recall when I transferred to the facility I am currently working in -- the most work she did was trying to find a doctor that would marry her.
......................................Well that ended that, the marriage
bit always works!
SOMEtimes it works............but there are those times when men and women flirt with each other because "they ARE married" and feel being married means "no committment...just fun" in it for them. Men and women both think this way at times.
My husband told me women flirt with married men because they don't really want them as husbands...just playthings. I'm sure some married women flirt with men for the same reasons. The percentages of adultery today are pretty equal now between married men and married women. Actually, more and more married women have extra-marital affairs today.
If I feel a doctor or any staff member is flirting with me, I play it off. The only way I try to make anything out of it is if they take the flirting too far. I'm sort of a flirt myself, but I don't flirt because I want the person...just flirt because I sometimes have a flirty nature.
Don't always read into a "flirt" something that isn't there. Many times it's just something to do to break the ice...tension...stress of the moment. :)
hmm... when I worked in the hospital, I was alot younger than I am now... (ha... )
and, there was a MD I flirted with, even went out with for a little while (For some reason, alot of young MD's are a little strange... I dont know why though.. and its not all of them... weird.)
then, after ending it, quite badly on the unit... (I couldnt deal with him complaining about his job, and how he hated doing toenails-he was a podiatrist.) actually I think I yelled at him "Give me a break... if you cant deal with this, I dont want to deal with you, so get on with your life and become a pedicurist and LEAVE ME ALONE" (please note, this was after telling him I was no longer interested.Politely.Gently. Nicely. Really nicely... 3 times. )he had become a stalker at that point. following me around everywhere, until I had to embarrass him... it came to a point where he was following me home... It was creepy! so, I ended up going around everywhere with a dude friend who I went to school with who also worked with me... its good to have friends....
(turns out he did this to another nurse, and was asked to leave.)
in new facility, now, we dont have occasion to flirt-- the only time we have the MD here (I work 12-8's overnights in a nursing home) is when something bad happens... but, I know him from the hospital, and we play around a little bit.. he;s married and I'm involved, so it stops at verbal onslaughts to eachother (but we're still professional when needed)
And sometimes things get shot to hell! I remember a long time ago, as a paramedic, picking up an ER nurse and friend who shot herself in the heart after her MD lover cancelled a trip with her and decided to go with his wife instead. What a waste!
Dave ARNP
629 Posts
We actually had a MAJOR problem in ICU with this sort of thing.
Very attractive female nurse who was one of those who was gifted both looks AND personality. Not to mention she knew her stuff forwards and backwards (Thinking of having it put in a directive that should I need ICU care, this nurse is to be the one taking care of ME!)
Anyway, had a 3rd year IM resident who was from a large progam and was doing his rural rotations. He started giving her a hard time and she really was not interested. Seems the fact that she was married seemed to have a little something to do with that.
One day the resident told her (in front of the entire station AND his attending) that she was a nurse and her part of her job was to 'entertain' him.
Guess who got asked to leave? :roll
Guess who got a nasty letter sent back to his program? :roll
Guess who will never show is face in our area again? :roll
Dave