how to deal with bullying between nursing students/coworkers?

Nursing Students Student Assist

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some of my classmates are bullying me. i feel like i am in high school all over again. what should i do? should i report what they have done to my professor? i feel like my professor is really good friends with one of the bullies, so i don't know how that will go and if my professor will do anything to help me. basically they made fun of my age (they made a statement how nurses should be graduating by 20 or 21 in their home country) and i'm 23.. i feel like they hold a resentment because i am not like them and from their country...and then another one of the students made fun of the fact that i have a tendency to go to the bathroom a lot. it usually comes up in topic of discussion when we are in a group setting, but it really doesn't bother me or make me feel embarassed because doesn't everyone need to go to the bathroom?

what should i do? should i just blow it off or tell my professor? i really don't see this prson that often. i can try to avoid the main bully the whole year and just try to avoid the other bullies or lay low. i have about five months until i graduate but i really don't want to start anything huge because i just want to graduate and leave.

please help? i don't know why they want to start picking fights when we're almost about to graduate. it's kind of annoying.

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Specializes in Tele Step Down, Oncology, ICU, Med/Surg.

I'm sorry you feel this way and hope this gets better for you soon.

I know I have a tendency to be sensitive and misread friendly joking as being more mean intentioned when I am feeling insecure--could this be happening to you? For goodness sake, feeling judged for not graduating before 23! Honestly, 1/3 of my graduating class was well over 25--me included--waaaaay over! LOL!

If you are close to graduating, do your best to ignore them and focus on your work. Smile, stay friendly but distant. Once you are out of there, you may never run into them again so It may not be worth making your last semesters harder than they need be by calling them out on their behaviors. However, if it is getting in the way of your school work you may need to confront them. Use "I" messages as in "I feel like you are picking on me and I really wish you would stop."

While there is nothing wrong with being sensitive--it's how you are wired emotionally-- you may realize that you will need to develop a bit of a tough skin as you will run into patients, family members and staff that will say harsh things even in the guise of joking, so you need to focus on your own work and not let the random comment throw you off track. You know in your heart who you are and what you are capable of, so don't let the joking or nasty comments of others frame who you are to yourself. Let your own inner voice to yourself stay positive and focused and this too shall pass.

Good Luck.

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Specializes in ICU + Infection Prevention.

I'd tell them to blow it out their gaping *****... but that's just me.

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Specializes in Acute Rehab/Geriatrics.

Congratulations!! 23 is young to achieve this. Don't let anyone bring you down or rain on your parade!!! You are doing great!!:anpom:

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:D, SummitAP. It must be hard if their buds with the professor. Thank goodness you don't have to actually work with these people forever. Come on here to vent. We hear you. Ignore them with a smile, of course, if you can and if it doesn't get worse. 5 months should fly by between all your clinicals, drug cards, care plans, etc. Keep venting to us in the meantime. 23 is way young enough, so is 63, for that matter.
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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

mashamontago:

There was a great article in a nursing magazine a couple of years ago about dealing with bullies in the work place.

Basically, this article encouraged confronting the bully and letting them know that they would have to deal with the ramifications of their actions if their behavior continued.

Due to time and numerous subscriptions, the magazine's name or issue date is evasive.

But I tell you what I''l do: I'll rifle through my rags and get back with you.

I'm sure there are numerous other resources out there. On line and in print. The Gentle Art of Intimidation comes to mind. I seem to recall others. Some are work place specific.

But, in the meantime, keep on keeping on, mashamontago. Don't let the bastards get you down.

Dave

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Specializes in ICU, ER, EP,.

I was way too busy in nursing school to pay attention to anyone else. I do suggest that not learning skills early on will set you up for trouble in your nursing career.

Doctors, family, management and your peers can sniff out the slightest trace of hesitation when they attempt to push you against your grain. I'm simply suggesting some good reads that you can goole because having keen interpersonal skills is a must in the nursing role! Please strongly consider that before you take a few good "beatings".

As for nursing school, heck you may never see these people again, I could have cared less about them. At work, I've found that I'll give you a chance once, the second time you try to bully me I will call you right out, smile the entire time and be as sweet and firm as can be.

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Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.

With only 5 months to go I think the best idea would be to concentrate your energy on you! Yes, they are annoying and immature, as well as making ridiculous statements about the age difference but - remember the best "revenge" is to succeed yourself! Feel free to come here and vent if they drive you nuts or it escalates into something other than the antics of mean-spirited brats. Hang in there and best wishes to you!

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I just wanted to say that you are not alone in dealing with silly, immature people. I am going through something a bit similar to your situation and wish I had only 5 months left with this person (I have over a year).

You have received some of the best advice and that is just to ignore the situation and worry about you. Good luck!

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Specializes in Trauma Surgery, Nursing Management.

The most effective way to deal with bullies is laughter. When they tease you about going to the bathroom so often, tell them that at your old age, bathrooms are your friend, and when they get to be your age, they will understand. It immediately takes ammunition out of their jabs and also gives you the upper hand because you are at once acknowledging their "digs" and dissipating any thoughts of your being sensitive about it. In nature, the weak member of the pack is always targeted...so don't show weakness. Don't let them know that your feelings are hurt or that you are disturbed in the least by their comments. Laugh about it, and they will leave you alone.

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Specializes in LTC, Med-SURG,STICU.

I would either ignore them or I would say something like with age comes wisdom or gee I wish I was young and smart like you guess I will have to settle for old and wise. I would smile the entire time I said it too.

These kind of people will peck you apart if you let them. DON'T LET THEM!!! You are young and you have your whole future ahead of you. Good luck with everything!!!

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With months to go until graduation, your energy would be better spent concentrating on your school work. It would be just grand for them to see their behavior cause you to stumble and fall. It should be just grand for you to ignore them and reach your goal.

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