Dating co-workers

Keepstanding, ASN, RN · Jan 9, 2008

sounds like a bad idea. disasterous in fact.

PMHNP10 · Jan 9, 2008

I'm just curious what others would think of this situation. A nurse manager is dating a CNA at the LTC facililty I work at. They are both wonderful people. Of course people are talking, some say the CNA is getting special treatment now (I honestly haven't noticed that) and others say it makes the nurse manager look bad to date someone she supervises. My opinion is that there should be no dating among co-workers in any workplace. I just wondered what others would think of this situation!

A supervisor/employee cannot date. If possible, one would have to be removed from the unit to another. If not possible (e.g., the sup. is a DON of the LTC facility), one would have to sacrifice their job. If the situation goes bad, the "subordinate" employee could easily come back and sue for sexual harassment. Could possibly be a risk to your license as well.

As for 2 individuals in the same position dating...maybe not the best thing in the world, but not nearly as serious. I've seen it happen without incident, but again, I wouldn't recommend it.

I worked with my now wife, at the same hospital, but we were on 2 different units and I really liked it. :redpinkhe

flightnurse2b, LPN · Jan 9, 2008

i met my future husband at work. he worked in a different dept and we met during a code (cute, isnt it?). we made sure that we actually didnt even make eye contact at work, because we didnt want anyone to know we were dating. no special treatment, no lunch breaks together, etc...i think thats the only way to do it without all the bs and drama. we didnt want anyone to think we were being inappropriate and so we kept the relationship outside of the workplace, although we did work in the same building. i think dating at work is ok, as long as you are smart about it, dont spread your drama and dont work together on the same floor!

namaste_71 · Jan 9, 2008

Don't fish in the company pond.

Virgo_RN, BSN, RN · Jan 9, 2008

I think it's a bad idea for a supervisor to date someone they supervise.

st4wb3rr33sh0rtc4k3 · Jan 9, 2008

Been there, done that.

Bad idea all the way around. Some places have a policy against dating coworkers, or even working with someone you are married to.

I found out the hard way. Seems I was dating the "nursing" player in the facility. He ended up getting married five months after we broke up. So I found out I was the "side" dish.

mianders, RN · Jan 9, 2008

A supervisor should never date a subordinate. Co-workers in general should be no one elses business.

pagandeva2000, LPN · Jan 9, 2008

I met my husband where I work, and we have been married for almost 9 years, and I feel that he is my soul mate. We saw each other around often before we actually started dating. In fact, when we first met, we were both seeing other people (not at the job). I remember looking at my husband from afar and saying to myself that he would not possibly be interested in me because I thought I was not his type. But, we used to sort of stare at each other all googly eyed, and eventually, we got together. We worked the same shift, but different departments. Now, we work different shifts.

I have to be honest, I believe that when considering dating someone at the job, you must proceed with caution. I would be uncomfortable dating my supervisor because even if I am getting special treatment at that time, if it is over, it may become humiliating. I have dated at work before and it was not really a comfortable situation; which is why I was so leery about my husband. There was SOMETHING about my hubby that made it seem right, and I am glad that I followed both, my heart and my mind.

locolorenzo22, BSN, RN · Jan 9, 2008

Don't dip your pen in the company ink.....

This situation lends itself to all sorts of bad possibilities...the harassment charge, special treatment...etc. It doesn't matter how much they bend over to make sure that nothing goes on at work.....when people know, they talk. And the talk is just as bad. I have plenty of "friends" who I could see turning into more at work...but my work relationships are "professional"....and nobody that I work with on the same floor, and nobody who has supervisory capicity over me....I would see that anything good that came of my own hard work would always be written off to my relationship....Does your facility have a policy in place for dating coworkers...many do.

Inquisitive one · Jan 10, 2008

Don't get your honey where you make your money!

Plagueis · Jan 10, 2008

I can understand rules against supervisors dating subordinates, because of issues of favoritism, but if the coworkers are on an "equal" employment level (i.e. two nurses or two CNAs dating), then I don't see how it's the employers' business. However, I don't think that the couple should be too public (i.e. making out in the nurses lounge) with their affections while on duty. As long as the relationship doesn't affect the couples' ability to perform their job, then it shouldn't be an issue.

I know a couple of married nurses who work together, and the employer doesn't seem to mind. This is true in other career areas, where I know of married couples who work together, and on the same shift. Why is it okay for married couples to work together, but not dating couples? Granted, there is the possible issue of sexual harassment if a dating couple breaks up, but that could also happen with a married couple who gets divorced. Nurses and CNAs often work overtime, so they may spend most of their time away from home at work, so I think it is natural that some of them may find someone to date at work.