Yesterday, I worked as a sitter and had one particular pt. that really touched my heart. We were talking and she revealed to me about how hurt she was.
I asked her to continue on and this is what she told me:
She said last night a nurse attempted to stick her to draw blood but she requested that the nurse use a different area because her veins are small and she usually feels pain. The nurse responded twice that " He doesn't care" she replied " I know you don't care but I do"
He then replied again that he doesn't care for a second time. She said the way he said it was so cold and so disrespectful. She said that she was so hurt that she wanted to leave the hospital. She said that nurses should be affectionate and compassionate and when they don't it really hurts and makes patients feel worthless.
This is not the first time I've seen and heard of nurses showing little to no compassion. I worked with a nurse last week in CCU and his patient was very restless and agitated. He told me right in front of the patient that he had no sympathy for her and that she was just " showing off" and how he felt that it was completly behavioral.
This women was 1 day post-op and I asked him when the last time she had pain med because the way she was acting indicated that she may be in pain. Anyway, I was shocked and appalled at his behavior.
I may not have worked as a nurse yet so I don't know how stressful it can be. However, before I get to the point where I show no more compassion I rather turn in my nursing license. It literally breaks my heart on how nurses can be so inconsiderate.
Anyone can read a text book and pass a nursing exam. Anyone can do extremely well in clinicals taking care of 1-2 patients and providing competent care. But it takes a special someone to actually care and show compassion and at the same time providing competent care.
I don't pray for the perfect job, or making over 20 bucks an hour. I pray that I will be a caring, compassionate giving, and competent nurse. I'm sure I'll get overwhelmed at times , patients will test my tolerance and that I may make mistakes. I may even get accused of not being competent or making too many mistakes, but one thing that won't be mistaken is the compassion that I have in my heart for patients. :heartbeat:redbeathe
When I was a student, I witnessed 2 incidents, at 2 different hospitals, where experienced nurses literally screamed at their patients. I wasn't a nurse yet, and I knew things would be different once I was working in the field, but I swore that I would never do that unless I was being assaulted.
To me, it sounds like the original poster doesn't want to be the kind of nurse the patient described. Maybe the patient is lying, maybe they aren't. I just hope the OP remembers the kind of nurse she doesn't want to be, especially if she sees herself slipping in that direction.
First: you must be non-judgmental in healthcare. If you allow yourself to judge before thinking and putting all the info together and in perspective, you will find yourself in deep do-do.
Second: pts can LIE. This has been said so many times in this thread. That is because this is a FACT. It doesn't mean you instantly assume they are lying but it also means you don't believe it, either. You take it seriously. You get your facts. See above.
Third: I have NEVER EVER EVER in 20 years, heard ANY nurse, aide, phlebotomist, doctor, housekeeper, milkman or shoe salesman say, "I don't care." That instantly waves a red flag at me. But I need to delve deeper before I act on such a complaint.
Fourth: there is, at times, a place for "affection". Granted, it is a unique type of affection that I have seen and experienced in LTC. HOWEVER, there are some pts where this isn't going to happen and shouldn't happen. I know this from working in Psych.
Fifth: all nurses do not work in the same way. This is GOOD. Any nursing personality comes in to save the day at any given time. A sweet "yes honey" type nurse might work well for one pt but a "listen here, Pal" type nurse might work better for another. A nurse may even change approaches until she/he finds the most effective one... and it may not be the most "affectionate" lol. There may just be a reason why the nurse is interacting with the pt in a way you may or may not "approve" of.
Sixth: good luck in your career path. You may have jumped the gun in judgment, but it only shows you CARE, which is, really, the most important thing.
I confess that the first time a patient lied about me I was so hurt and upset -- I obsessed over it for days (and said a good many bad words too). Luckily it was a relatively minor lie and it was during my CNA clinicals. Thank goodness for my clinical instructor, salt of the earth woman that she was. That was when I learned document, document, document. Basically if the patient farts when you are in the room...document it.
Also, everyone has a different recollection of events and conversations. It seems unlikely that a nurse said "I don't care" to a patient, about the site of a blood draw. They might have thought it and said something else. I have read posts about nurses making fun of patients who try to direct them on "where" to take blood. So this patient may have picked up on some unspoken reaction like that and been absolutely right. Who knows.
Then again I have had some interesting interactions as a patient...I had a picc line in and it hurt like crazy and itched. When I complained to my nurse he took my hand, stretched out my arm, and smacked the picc line entry site. I about had to be peeled off the ceiling from the pain. Anyway I got a new picc line. I still don't know why he did it but assumed he was a sadist. Maybe when I get further on in nursing I will find that the guy used SOP.
I really want to be a great nurse but also recognize that I am human.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
urgh!!!!!
first: you must be non-judgmental in healthcare. if you allow yourself to judge before thinking and putting all the info together and in perspective, you will find yourself in deep do-do.
second: pts can lie. this has been said so many times in this thread. that is because this is a fact. it doesn't mean you instantly assume they are lying but it also means you don't believe it, either. you take it seriously. you get your facts. see above.
third: i have never ever ever in 20 years, heard any nurse, aide, phlebotomist, doctor, housekeeper, milkman or shoe salesman say, "i don't care." that instantly waves a red flag at me. but i need to delve deeper before i act on such a complaint.
fourth: there is, at times, a place for "affection". granted, it is a unique type of affection that i have seen and experienced in ltc. however, there are some pts where this isn't going to happen and shouldn't happen. i know this from working in psych.
fifth: all nurses do not work in the same way. this is good. any nursing personality comes in to save the day at any given time. a sweet "yes honey" type nurse might work well for one pt but a "listen here, pal" type nurse might work better for another. a nurse may even change approaches until she/he finds the most effective one... and it may not be the most "affectionate" lol. there may just be a reason why the nurse is interacting with the pt in a way you may or may not "approve" of.
sixth: good luck in your career path. you may have jumped the gun in judgment, but it only shows you care, which is, really, the most important thing.
excellent post, and right on target! why is it that those who are decrying the judgemental seasoned nurse who lacks compassion always come across as so judgemental of nurses -- and why is it that they never get that!
and while i have heard a physician tell a patient "i don't care," in that situation, it was warranted. (my husband was the patient.) i can think of other situations where it might not be a bad thing to tell a patient "i don't care." we can discuss those possibilities endlessly, but we weren't there. the op was there, but she doesn't come across as an unbiased witness.
i agree that the op jumped the gun in judgement -- but i'm not entirely convinced that it's evidence that she cares. it is equally possible that she just wants to be "better than" that nurse and since she clearly has less experience and less knowledge than him, she's choosing to be superior in "compassion." i don't know the op, so i won't make a conclusion.
I remember those days that I was a student...me, self-rightous with my 1-2 patients, maybe 4 max, and taking the time to talk/know their story, talk, talk, give meds, slowly explain procedures...do them right away instead of having to go see a admission, etc.....I thought that the staff nurses were uncaring due to whatever reason...but I thought that the reason was that they didn't care anymore....
Then I became a nurse.
OVERNIGHT, i became responsible for ALL the care a patient received while I was on duty...often coming in to 4-6 patients and a admission that may have been there for a hour already before I came on shift.....patients who don't know their dosages of meds, just "i take 1 and a half blue pills, i think they're a triangle"....well, I need a little more to go on. I am friendly and try to get along with all my patients...but it doesn't always work....I can give care without having the greatest rapport with my patients, but it hurts me. It hurts that the environment has become one where I am a pill popping, catheter inserting, IV starting machine.....I am never above shaving, bathing, or changing someone...if I have that time....changing for sure, the shaving and bathing depends on how my night is going.
Don't judge em too harshly, if they needed a sitter, they may have been a little confused. Those sitter patients are the same ones who try to pull out everything in sight, yell, and don't understand when we stick or do things it's to help them. wait for the day you have a license, then come back and tell us what you learned.
This reminds me of something that happened to me not that long ago. I had a patient who was extremely confused and flipped back and forth between being the sweetest little lady and an aggressive and extremely abusive patient. She had a sitter and the sitter came to me during one of the few times she was sleeping quietly and told me all about the horrible nurse the patient had the night before. She told me how that nurse had yelled at her and tied her down and caused horrible bruises on her body by pinching and hitting her. The sitter asked me what I was going to do about it and I just had to laugh. I said nothing because I was her nurse last night and not one of those things happened. She had actually had a quiet night that night and blessedly slept through most of it. If a patient has a sitter, chances are they are confused. This lady took turns hating you one minute and loving you the next the whole time she was on the floor. If those things seemed real in the patient's mind, there is not a thing we can do about that. Just remember to get the facts before you start running to people with accusations or reporting your coworkers.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
this reminds me of something that happened to me not that long ago. i had a patient who was extremely confused and flipped back and forth between being the sweetest little lady and an aggressive and extremely abusive patient. she had a sitter and the sitter came to me during one of the few times she was sleeping quietly and told me all about the horrible nurse the patient had the night before. she told me how that nurse had yelled at her and tied her down and caused horrible bruises on her body by pinching and hitting her. the sitter asked me what i was going to do about it and i just had to laugh. i said nothing because i was her nurse last night and not one of those things happened. she had actually had a quiet night that night and blessedly slept through most of it. if a patient has a sitter, chances are they are confused. this lady took turns hating you one minute and loving you the next the whole time she was on the floor. if those things seemed real in the patient's mind, there is not a thing we can do about that. just remember to get the facts before you start running to people with accusations or reporting your coworkers.
unfortunately, i can't put several "thank yous" and an "amen!" on your post, but i'd like to!
This reminds me of something that happened to me not that long ago. I had a patient who was extremely confused and flipped back and forth between being the sweetest little lady and an aggressive and extremely abusive patient. She had a sitter and the sitter came to me during one of the few times she was sleeping quietly and told me all about the horrible nurse the patient had the night before. She told me how that nurse had yelled at her and tied her down and caused horrible bruises on her body by pinching and hitting her. The sitter asked me what I was going to do about it and I just had to laugh. I said nothing because I was her nurse last night and not one of those things happened. She had actually had a quiet night that night and blessedly slept through most of it. If a patient has a sitter, chances are they are confused. This lady took turns hating you one minute and loving you the next the whole time she was on the floor. If those things seemed real in the patient's mind, there is not a thing we can do about that. Just remember to get the facts before you start running to people with accusations or reporting your coworkers.
OR... OR how about when you leave the room for 10 minutes and come back and the patient tells you a horror story about the "awful nurse" who was just in the room who did all this TERRIBLE stuff to them and you KNOW it isn't true... because they are talking about YOU???
LMAO!!!
And this same patient is praising you up and down as their savior because "you're sooo sweet! NOT like the other one!"
Oh man, it's too funny!!
And...
I remember a good friend of mine who was a darn good male aide. I come in and this patient is going on and on and on about how this aide jumped up and down on her bed.........naked!!!!
Shoooooot!!
I told the aide if he was going to do that kinda junk, COME ON OVER to my apartment because I wanted to pop me some popcorn and watch that for myself!!!
You can only laugh sometimes, otherwise, well, you'd cry!
Remember, we are taught to empathize (NOT SYMPATHIZE) in nursing school. A professional distance must be maintained or emotional exhaustion will prevail. That doesn't mean you are not a compassionate nurse. A nurse who empathizes will react more professionally, from a professional nurses' training then one who sympathizes, IMHO.
In addition, I've had my fair share of being in the hospital. I had hyperemesis with both of my kids. I was in and out he hospital every other week during my 2nd and 3rd trimesters with both of my first child and in the hospital for 1 month with my 2nd child. All of my nurses were GREAT. And you know what made my horrible ordeal great? Because the nurses were compassionate. They came in from time to time to make sure I was ok. They told me their stories about how they became a nurse, some patients that had hyperemesis, and their experience with hyperemesis (some nurses had it). They comforted me when my 1st child was in the NICU and encouraged me to keep pushing my 2nd child during her delivery when I had no drugs to alleviate labor pain. Compassion can make a patient's stay and healing process better. I'm pretty sure potential RNs are briefed about what types of things and behaviors they may come across. I know it's tough being a nurse.
But the question I'd like to ask is, why did you want to become a nurse? Was it because it's your passion? Calling? You like the flexibility? Stability? or is it simply for the money?
If you can't show compassion, then why be a human being? Being a human should be more than just wanting to get paid well.
Sorry, couldn't help it. There are very few people on the planet that lack the capacity for compassion. Those that do are called sociopaths. Yeah, I'm a nurse, but I am a human being first, and odds are I'm not a sociopath. If I don't behave in the way you think I should, according to your ideals, why is the first assumption always that I lack compassion and should not be a nurse?
:yeah:
Not_A_Hat_Person, RN
2,900 Posts
When I was a student, I witnessed 2 incidents, at 2 different hospitals, where experienced nurses literally screamed at their patients. I wasn't a nurse yet, and I knew things would be different once I was working in the field, but I swore that I would never do that unless I was being assaulted.
To me, it sounds like the original poster doesn't want to be the kind of nurse the patient described. Maybe the patient is lying, maybe they aren't. I just hope the OP remembers the kind of nurse she doesn't want to be, especially if she sees herself slipping in that direction.