Yesterday, I worked as a sitter and had one particular pt. that really touched my heart. We were talking and she revealed to me about how hurt she was.
I asked her to continue on and this is what she told me:
She said last night a nurse attempted to stick her to draw blood but she requested that the nurse use a different area because her veins are small and she usually feels pain. The nurse responded twice that " He doesn't care" she replied " I know you don't care but I do"
He then replied again that he doesn't care for a second time. She said the way he said it was so cold and so disrespectful. She said that she was so hurt that she wanted to leave the hospital. She said that nurses should be affectionate and compassionate and when they don't it really hurts and makes patients feel worthless.
This is not the first time I've seen and heard of nurses showing little to no compassion. I worked with a nurse last week in CCU and his patient was very restless and agitated. He told me right in front of the patient that he had no sympathy for her and that she was just " showing off" and how he felt that it was completly behavioral.
This women was 1 day post-op and I asked him when the last time she had pain med because the way she was acting indicated that she may be in pain. Anyway, I was shocked and appalled at his behavior.
I may not have worked as a nurse yet so I don't know how stressful it can be. However, before I get to the point where I show no more compassion I rather turn in my nursing license. It literally breaks my heart on how nurses can be so inconsiderate.
Anyone can read a text book and pass a nursing exam. Anyone can do extremely well in clinicals taking care of 1-2 patients and providing competent care. But it takes a special someone to actually care and show compassion and at the same time providing competent care.
I don't pray for the perfect job, or making over 20 bucks an hour. I pray that I will be a caring, compassionate giving, and competent nurse. I'm sure I'll get overwhelmed at times , patients will test my tolerance and that I may make mistakes. I may even get accused of not being competent or making too many mistakes, but one thing that won't be mistaken is the compassion that I have in my heart for patients. :heartbeat:redbeathe
Saying "I Dont Care" wheewwwww! How could a Nurse say that....
Why we're all here?
Sounds like a very non sense question..............BUT......
Here it goes.........
We're all here bcoz of them, Residents/Patients as we call them...they are here bcoz they need us...the same way we need them....
They need our CARE, our HELP and our ATTENTION....they are the very reason why we are here.......
Remember they are the ones PAYING us.....we wouldn't be here without them....
They are sick individuals...have different kind of NEEDS....and they may be in PAIN....a person in PAIN easily gets irritated....they may show some kind of ATTITUDE/BEHAVIOUR...we should be ready for that......
All we need is PATIENCE, PATIENCE and more PATIENCE....
Let's take care of them the way we take care of our own self, our loved ones... we need to have A CARING HEART!!
They should be treated properly...the way we wanted us to be treated by others..... we should RESPECT them!!!
If we can't do it.....we don't BELONG here.....
This is our Job....our Career....our Profession.....we can't afford to RUIN it!!
Let's all work together...with a Smile in our Face and Love in our Heart!!!
Specializes in Mostly LTC, some acute and some ER,.
I must admit that I was starting to feel my compassion slipping away earlier this year. I took the summer off. It did me so much good. Now I am full of compassion for my patients and my job once again. I feel that that is the best thing to do for yourself if you feel yourself getting that way.
We do have some lousy nurses but the majority of us are loving, caring, and compassionate. We are tested every day by patients, families, doctors, administration, sitters, nurses' aids, housekeepers, and so on. We are in the middle and we are converged upon from every possible angle in a circle. We are accused of abuse often, I have had my unjust share, by patients and by anyone else who is willing to listen to the patients. We are questioned many times during our shift about the care we provide for our patients, mostly to find criticism, by all who visit and by people who has no business asking but will give the nurse a hard time anyway. If a Resident yells we are accused of abuse by those who know nothing about the patient and many times we find ourselves explaining to total strangers whats going on to save our skin.
We do need the ever policing of families and the public but you guys usually go too far and this is a typical case. I do not wish to attack you but you do not seem critical enough to make good judgements and tend to speak before you think. What you are doing now may seriously affect nurses in a negative way and you may be one of the first recipients of that negative effect if you ever get a license.
Specializes in obstetrics, psychiatry, forensics, med/s.
Dearest Compassionate Nurse,
I have read your story and am heartened by your response to this patient and disheartened by the replies from some "nurses". I have been nursing for 27 years and have not lost the ability to feel compassion for the patients in my care. I am somewhat more jaded than at first in believing everything I am told while at the same time understanding that the reason patients tell their version of the truth is because they 1. believe it to be true 2. Need some kind of attention they are missing in their life or 3. are being manipulative because this is a coping mechanism that seems to work for them in life.
When I hear such stories I make a point of investigating. Was the person a nurse or phlebotamist? What is the units policy about who draws blood? Did the patient have a blood draw last evening? Does the patient have small veins and has this been a problem with previous lab draws? Does she have multiple bruises on her from previous attempts? What does it say in the nursing notes about this patient?
In cases such as this I would read all of the chart looking for clues because if it is found that indeed she was telling the truth something needs to be done about this person's attitude toward the people in his care.
It is such a privilege to be a nurse and be trusted with sharing a patient's life and life story that there truly is no place for nurses who feel compassion and caring do not have a place in this calling. I have seen many nurses coming out of nursing schools these days who seem to be missing these very important aspects of caring for human beings. Patients need to feel that we are truly their advocate and feel for them. One of the nurses said she/he could not share the patient's pain because it would be too hard. Yes, we do need to step back a little but if we don't share their pain and concerns who will. Being unable to show compassion is a sign of burnout and being overwhelmed by the demands of this great profession. Now a days nursing is often an almost impossible job because of the acuity of patients, lack of staff, lack of support by managers and organizations and other reponsibilities at home or with family. I find that going to work gives me a break from home concerns by allowing myself to get really involved with my patients and forgetting any other problems I may have.
I hope you never lose your compassion and remember to investigate and send concerns up the chain of command. Nurses who do not intervene when necessary do not deserve to call themselves NURSE. Please do not listen to those burned out, pained nurses who need to take some time out to look at what they want to be doing. Yes we must find it in our hearts to be compassionate with our fellow nurses, something that is so lacking many times, but on the other hand our responsibility is to our patients first and foremost. I have seen some behaviours by nurses that have shocked and angered me. There are some very bad nurses out there but the majority are warm and caring, feeling thier patient's concerns and want to help as much as possible to bring healing to the people in their care. We laud and support those nurses and we ask management to intervene when nurses are not doing the right thing.
Take care of yourself in your offtime as this is so important to not burning out and continue to support patients and fellow staff.
Yesterday, I worked as a sitter and had one particular pt. that really touched my heart. We were talking and she revealed to me about how hurt she was.
I asked her to continue on and this is what she told me:
She said last night a nurse attempted to stick her to draw blood but she requested that the nurse use a different area because her veins are small and she usually feels pain. The nurse responded twice that " He doesn't care" she replied " I know you don't care but I do"
He then replied again that he doesn't care for a second time. She said the way he said it was so cold and so disrespectful. She said that she was so hurt that she wanted to leave the hospital. She said that nurses should be affectionate and compassionate and when they don't it really hurts and makes patients feel worthless.
Unless you were there, you cannot know what really happened. For starters, are you certain it was a nurse? Where I work, phlebotomists from the lab do the blood draws. Also, because you weren't there, you can't know what was really said or how it was said.
This is not the first time I've seen and heard of nurses showing little to no compassion. I worked with a nurse last week in CCU and his patient was very restless and agitated. He told me right in front of the patient that he had no sympathy for her and that she was just " showing off" and how he felt that it was completly behavioral.
This women was 1 day post-op and I asked him when the last time she had pain med because the way she was acting indicated that she may be in pain. Anyway, I was shocked and appalled at his behavior.
It's not uncommon for postop patients to become agitated and restless. This does not mean she is in pain. In the nurse's assessment, the restlessness and agitation was not a response to pain, but of some other etiology. Did you question the nurse further to determine what his rationale was?
I may not have worked as a nurse yet so I don't know how stressful it can be. However, before I get to the point where I show no more compassion I rather turn in my nursing license. It literally breaks my heart on how nurses can be so inconsiderate.
Anyone can read a text book and pass a nursing exam. Anyone can do extremely well in clinicals taking care of 1-2 patients and providing competent care. But it takes a special someone to actually care and show compassion and at the same time providing competent care.
I don't pray for the perfect job, or making over 20 bucks an hour. I pray that I will be a caring, compassionate giving, and competent nurse. I'm sure I'll get overwhelmed at times , patients will test my tolerance and that I may make mistakes. I may even get accused of not being competent or making too many mistakes, but one thing that won't be mistaken is the compassion that I have in my heart for patients. :heartbeat:redbeathe
You'll also be accused of lacking compassion. I guarantee it.
The patient is my #1 concern, and as long as the patient is receiving good care (and not being abused, mistreated, disrespected, neglected, etc, etc), I really couldn't care less about the level of someone else's compassion.
What I view as "compassion" could be completely different from someone else's view of it. That doesn't mean that they aren't compassionate, or that their feelings are "wrong" - it is what it is. That's the beauty of being an individual!
Specializes in obstetrics, psychiatry, forensics, med/s.
I so agree with the previous comment. If nurses cannot be questioned then they aren't looking closely enough at themselves. When students say to me that their instructor taught them a different way i say "what are the principles behind this procedure? Can both ways be correct? Which do you think would be the best way to go about this?" I also agree that nursing students know the latest and we can learn a lot from them, though when I was teaching I told the students they shouldn't say "my instructor said" instead they should look at how we can get to the same goals in different ways and as long as the procedure follows principles neither is right or wrong just different. Hopefully it saved some of them from nurses who feel students have nothing to teach them
Specializes in obstetrics, psychiatry, forensics, med/s.
As a student and newbie there have been those that answered all questions (no matter how dumb) and took the time to explain actions and decisions rather than the somewhat typical "because that's how it's done" or "because Ive done it that way for xx years". As newbies we may not ask the right way but we ask because we don't know. We have been shown another way or told differently and we are trying to figure out who is right and who we should follow. Nursing is an every changing field that is why we do ce's so just because a nurse has done something a certain way for xx years doesn't mean she is right all the time and just because the newbie is inexperienced doesn't mean she is wrong. In the end we all need to be more compassionate and respectful towards others regardless of the situation and/or environment.
To the seasoned nurses- please be pt with us newbies though we are all different ages as nurses we are children and just as you have to be pt with a young child learning to walk, talk etc we need you to be pt with us because we are just learning to "walk" as nurses. I guess we may even go through the "know it all" teen years lol. So just be pt with us we will eventually catch on and then maybe one day we will be intelligent, competent, compassionate and experienced and able to care for our "more seasoned" colleagues when they are the pts.
I loved this reply because it is so true. Eventually all newbies will grow in the field of nursing but lets hope they grow to become better not worse nurses like some have done. I think most people go into nursing because they care but sometimes that gets lost in the drag of the daily grind of trying to be all things to all of our patients and they give up. Lets help each other, the students, the newbies and our colleagues to be the best they can be.
both of your non-compassionate stories center around men in nursing. since i have observed examples of every gender being non-compassionate and judgemental -- do i percieve an anti-male bias here?
"both of your non-compassionate stories center around men in nursing. since i have observed examples of every gender being non-compassionate and judgemental -- do i percieve an anti-male bias here?"
hi chalethigh:
i did not perceive any bias at all. every post referred to compassion or lack of compassion regarding nurses in general, without any reference to gender.
i saw the 2 stories of "uncompassionate" nurses" as just that- stories about "uncompassionate nurses" -- not stories of 'uncompassionate' male nurses. the fact that both nurses were males seemed irrelevant, a coincidence. just my interpretation....
:redbeathe:yeah:
Bokyo
19 Posts
Saying "I Dont Care" wheewwwww! How could a Nurse say that....
Why we're all here?