Compassion.... why is it so hard to give some?

[NurseLoveJoy88]

Yesterday, I worked as a sitter and had one particular pt. that really touched my heart. We were talking and she revealed to me about how hurt she was.

I asked her to continue on and this is what she told me:

She said last night a nurse attempted to stick her to draw blood but she requested that the nurse use a different area because her veins are small and she usually feels pain. The nurse responded twice that " He doesn't care" she replied " I know you don't care but I do"

He then replied again that he doesn't care for a second time. She said the way he said it was so cold and so disrespectful. She said that she was so hurt that she wanted to leave the hospital. She said that nurses should be affectionate and compassionate and when they don't it really hurts and makes patients feel worthless.

This is not the first time I've seen and heard of nurses showing little to no compassion. I worked with a nurse last week in CCU and his patient was very restless and agitated. He told me right in front of the patient that he had no sympathy for her and that she was just " showing off" and how he felt that it was completly behavioral.

This women was 1 day post-op and I asked him when the last time she had pain med because the way she was acting indicated that she may be in pain. Anyway, I was shocked and appalled at his behavior.

I may not have worked as a nurse yet so I don't know how stressful it can be. However, before I get to the point where I show no more compassion I rather turn in my nursing license. It literally breaks my heart on how nurses can be so inconsiderate.

Anyone can read a text book and pass a nursing exam. Anyone can do extremely well in clinicals taking care of 1-2 patients and providing competent care. But it takes a special someone to actually care and show compassion and at the same time providing competent care.

I don't pray for the perfect job, or making over 20 bucks an hour. I pray that I will be a caring, compassionate giving, and competent nurse. I'm sure I'll get overwhelmed at times , patients will test my tolerance and that I may make mistakes. I may even get accused of not being competent or making too many mistakes, but one thing that won't be mistaken is the compassion that I have in my heart for patients. :heartbeat:redbeathe

[linearthinker, DNP, RN]

never mind

[anotherone, BSN, RN]

the nurse, tech, phlebotomist, intern, resident or attending physician -- or all of the above -- could have explained to the patient why the lab was needed and that was the only vein she had and if she was elderly, confused or under the influence of drugs she might not have remembered. or she might have remembered but wanted to enjoy a little staff splitting. or it made a great story and she liked getting sympathy.

in general, i've found student nurses quick to jump to the conclusion that nurses lack compassion, are mean to patients or whatever because they don't have the experience to understand that patients lie. patients misremember. patients manipulate. patients forget.

i would hope that all of my colleagues are gracious, hardworking and compassionate (no, i'm not smoking anything illegal) and while i know this is not always the case i also know that the horror stories patients tell about how the previous shift abused them are not always accurate either. one should have compassion toward one's patients. absolutely they should. but one should also have compassion toward one's fellow professionals.

you know what's worse.............. when patients lie and some of the staff believes them! i have noticed some patients esp love to stir up nurses vs. doctors. i especially love the ones who are rude to me and other nurses, yell, are very very rude, demand meds(narcotics), demand to talk to "their doctor". then the doctor comes up and they are super nice with no complaints.

[anotherone, BSN, RN]

Unless you were there, you cannot know what really happened. For starters, are you certain it was a nurse? Where I work, phlebotomists from the lab do the blood draws. Also, because you weren't there, you can't know what was really said or how it was said.

it.

Does NOT matter who drew the labs. A nurse is to blame somehow. (sarcasm)

[Fribblet]

When are we going to get past this "All you need is compassion," "Caring is the most important thing" drivel?

Competence is the most important thing. Period. The end. I don't want a nurse who calls me "Honey," holds my hand, and gets sad puppy eyes when I'm describing my chief complaint. I want someone who knows what the hell they're doing.

Caring, compassion, and hair stroking is icing on the cake.

And we wonder why we don't get taken seriously...