C'Mon Now!

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Had a kid bring his wet, bloody tooth and plop it right on my desk.

C'mon now!

Or the kid that did running knee slide into my office.

C'mon now!

The ones old enough to cover their mouths but choose to cough right in your face instead.

All together: C'mon now!!

Some things just make me shake my head.

Just thought I would let my school nurse peeps know I will not be around for a while.

I will be checking all 950 middle school kids for lice, in their classroom with a flashlight and comb. Then, we will just have to burn the entire school down because the current lice outbreak is causing several life-threatening diseases to run rampant in the school.

Never mind, we follow evidence-based recommendations and not stupid demands from raving lunatics!!

C'MON NOW!! I am a school nurse, your e-mail don't scare me.

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I don't do school nursing but this thread is hilarious! My son used to tell his teachers he was sick so he could go raid the nurse's candy jar, and he's in high school! She told me one day and I said give him nothing and tell him you have to give him a shot. He hasn't been back since.

I'm just going to take up real estate in this thread because I'm screaming! ?

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6 hours ago, ohiobobcat said:

Had a student come in with cough/cold symptoms last week. No fever. Student states to me that she thought it might be allergies because "It's Spring now."

It's February.

We live in Maine.

There is not a green leaf on a tree anywhere to be seen in our state at this point, and there probably won't be until well into April.

Child, you have a cold. This is not pollen-related seasonal allergies.

I am in North Texas where allergy season is pretty much all year around. They come in with watery eyes and allergic shiners - swear up and down that it is a cold........

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Specializes in school nursing.

"I can't breathe out of my nose"...

Uh.. okay? Do you want a tissue?!
THIS IS A HIGH SCHOOLER.

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Specializes in School Nurse, past Med Surge.
On 2/28/2020 at 4:59 PM, NurseBlaq said:

I don't do school nursing but this thread is hilarious! My son used to tell his teachers he was sick so he could go raid the nurse's candy jar, and he's in high school! She told me one day and I said give him nothing and tell him you have to give him a shot. He hasn't been back since.

I'm just going to take up real estate in this thread because I'm screaming! ?

I had peppermints to try for upset tummies once... Then the word got out that, "The nurse is giving out candy!" and they all came out of the wood works. And that was over quicker than it started.

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Specializes in school nursing.
21 minutes ago, SaltineQueen said:

I had peppermints to try for upset tummies once... Then the word got out that, "The nurse is giving out candy!" and they all came out of the wood works. And that was over quicker than it started.

Me too. No more peppermints. Though I still have students who ask. They pout to me that I don't have a peppermint. I ask them what doctor's office/ER/etc ever gave them a peppermint for their upset stomach/sore throat/indigestion/etc... LOL

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Specializes in School Nurse.
On 2/28/2020 at 3:59 PM, NurseBlaq said:

I don't do school nursing but this thread is hilarious! My son used to tell his teachers he was sick so he could go raid the nurse's candy jar, and he's in high school! She told me one day and I said give him nothing and tell him you have to give him a shot. He hasn't been back since.

I'm just going to take up real estate in this thread because I'm screaming! ?

We welcome lookie loos!

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Specializes in school nursing/ maternal/child hospital based.

Its been crazy in my office for a few weeks ( flu, strep, generalized YUCK) Just had a 2nd grader waltz in with " arm pain" Asked to describe it and what happened. He proceeds to try to hyper extend his elbow and says " It hurts when I do this" UMMMMMM WHY are you doing that, " I dont know I just felt like doing this and it hurts" Therapeutic silence, blank stare from me. "Please stop doing that, your arm isn't supposed to go that direction" Blank stare back, " can I get one of those slings like XX has in my class" That would be a hard No. I'm seriously barely hanging on. This all while I have a kid crying with puss coming out of his ear, an Asthmatic with a Sat 92-93%, a girl who just started her period for the first time, a non-existent splinter that a student " has to have out right now" and I am about to pee my pants. Never a dull moment in here!

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Ugh, this year has been crazy! The special ed teachers like to use me as a drop-in babysitter for them to dump kids. There are no medical issues, all behavioral, though I guess the student who picks her scabs all day could use a little more help with bandaids/cleaning. Either way, they asked that I call the mom of one of the students to see if she would pick up the kid. There is no fever, no cough, no vomit, just a refusal to go to gym. Yes, the student is a management problem. No, it isn't in my realm. I'm too busy tracking every.last.detail. about every single staff and student absence, since everyone is freaked about coronavirus. I'm also case-managing a lot more this year, since our psych left abruptly in Oct. I don't have time to babysit the loud, uncooperative kids!

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Specializes in Med-surg, school nursing..

Did I tell you all about the kid that came to me with the "sore on my neck that is hurting sooo bad, oh my gosh, please help, it hurrrtttsss!"

One look and I could tell it a booger. I told the kid that and their response was "Oh." And then they picked it off and returned to class.

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Specializes in ICU/community health/school nursing.
On 2/28/2020 at 3:59 PM, NurseBlaq said:

I don't do school nursing but this thread is hilarious! My son used to tell his teachers he was sick so he could go raid the nurse's candy jar, and he's in high school! She told me one day and I said give him nothing and tell him you have to give him a shot. He hasn't been back since.

I'm just going to take up real estate in this thread because I'm screaming! ?

We love you already. Momming for the WIN.

On 2/28/2020 at 3:53 PM, EnoughWithTheIce said:

Then, we will just have to burn the entire school down because the current lice outbreak is causing several life-threatening diseases to run rampant in the school.

If you need me I'll be under my desk having a gigglefit.

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4th grade boy: I fell in a puddle. My pants are wet in the...butt area

me: okay, I think I have a pair your size

4th: and underwear too, they are covered in mud

me: oh? I'll check

as I'm checking sizes, 4th: Yeah, I fell in that puddle and I didn't want my underwear to get wet, so I pulled my pants down a little bit and started to walk in, but the I slipped and fell in mud

??‍♀️ I can totally picture my own kid doing this; pants around his thighs, waddling in, trying to keep those undies dry?

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