C'Mon Now!

ruby_jane, BSN, RN · Mar 3, 2020

On 2/28/2020 at 3:59 PM, NurseBlaq said:
I don't do school nursing but this thread is hilarious! My son used to tell his teachers he was sick so he could go raid the nurse's candy jar, and he's in high school! She told me one day and I said give him nothing and tell him you have to give him a shot. He hasn't been back since.
I'm just going to take up real estate in this thread because I'm screaming! ?

We love you already. Momming for the WIN.

On 2/28/2020 at 3:53 PM, EnoughWithTheIce said:
Then, we will just have to burn the entire school down because the current lice outbreak is causing several life-threatening diseases to run rampant in the school.

If you need me I'll be under my desk having a gigglefit.

BeckyESRN · Mar 3, 2020

4th grade boy: I fell in a puddle. My pants are wet in the...butt area

me: okay, I think I have a pair your size

4th: and underwear too, they are covered in mud

me: oh? I'll check

as I'm checking sizes, 4th: Yeah, I fell in that puddle and I didn't want my underwear to get wet, so I pulled my pants down a little bit and started to walk in, but the I slipped and fell in mud

??‍♀️ I can totally picture my own kid doing this; pants around his thighs, waddling in, trying to keep those undies dry?

CanIcallmymom, BSN, RN · Mar 4, 2020

Again.... HS nurse here. Testing day (I love testing days, I get so caught up on paperwork).

Testing coordinator: "Hey, Mrs. D just asked if you have any peppermints because some of them are falling asleep."
Me: *Blank stare, hard blinks* "I don't. BUT, do you really think a peppermint is going to keep a student awake during the SAT?"
Testing coordinator: "Thought so, thanks anyway."

Really?!

k1p1ssk, BSN, RN · Mar 4, 2020

I had a sick kid on the cot in my office waiting for mom, when I get a call from a teacher about an inconsolable pre-k student who won't come up to the HO. 8minutes before dismissal.... WHen a 5th grader wanders in and while I am actually speaking out loud on the phone, starts blabbering on and pointing at her ear. I stared daggers and said "I AM ON THE PHONE." and she shut right up. I finish my convo, and ask her what is wrong with her ear. She said "well, I have had this bump on it for about a week...." Turned her right around.

OyWithThePoodles, RN · Mar 4, 2020

1 hour ago, k1p1ssk said:
I had a sick kid on the cot in my office waiting for mom, when I get a call from a teacher about an inconsolable pre-k student who won't come up to the HO. 8minutes before dismissal.... WHen a 5th grader wanders in and while I am actually speaking out loud on the phone, starts blabbering on and pointing at her ear. I stared daggers and said "I AM ON THE PHONE." and she shut right up. I finish my convo, and ask her what is wrong with her ear. She said "well, I have had this bump on it for about a week...." Turned her right around.

I get "I HAVE TO POOP, CAN I GO POOP, I HAVE TO POOOOOOOP" while I'm on the phone. Then the "Mrs. Poodles, I POOOOOOOPPPPPPPEEEED" from the bathroom until I answer. No matter how many times I tell the kid that it doesn't need to be announced... Still happens.

k1p1ssk, BSN, RN · Mar 4, 2020

1 hour ago, OyWithThePoodles said:
I get "I HAVE TO POOP, CAN I GO POOP, I HAVE TO POOOOOOOP" while I'm on the phone. Then the "Mrs. Poodles, I POOOOOOOPPPPPPPEEEED" from the bathroom until I answer. No matter how many times I tell the kid that it doesn't need to be announced... Still happens.

I have a student who regularly fakes pooping in order to spend excess time out of class.... I Have to make sure he's actually produced each time. It's amazing what we do, isn't it? I often wonder silently to myself, "Did I really need a bachelor's degree for this job?" Then I remind myself of the vast amounts of knowledge and skill it takes to work independently in this job and pat myself on the back. For every poop inspection there is a kid with a burgeoning seizure disorder, broken bone, concussion, and other more complicated assessment to be done...

NurseBlaq · Mar 4, 2020

2 hours ago, OyWithThePoodles said:
I get "I HAVE TO POOP, CAN I GO POOP, I HAVE TO POOOOOOOP" while I'm on the phone. Then the "Mrs. Poodles, I POOOOOOOPPPPPPPEEEED" from the bathroom until I answer. No matter how many times I tell the kid that it doesn't need to be announced... Still happens.

If I'm ever having a bad day I read this thread. Y'all are hilarious! ?

ruby_jane, BSN, RN · Mar 4, 2020

1 hour ago, k1p1ssk said:
I often wonder silently to myself, "Did I really need a bachelor's degree for this job?" Then I remind myself of the vast amounts of knowledge and skill it takes to work independently in this job and pat myself on the back. For every poop inspection there is a kid with a burgeoning seizure disorder, broken bone, concussion, and other more complicated assessment to be done...

I hereby bequeath unto you the OldDude Award for Pragmatism and Realism In Service To School Nurses Everywhere.

BrisketRN, BSN, RN · Mar 4, 2020

First grader vomited (down her front body and on the floor) at lunch, friend runs by and slips in the vomit. A teaching assistant brings both vomit-covered children to change clothes, but she has to run to the bathroom herself to vomit. Very eventful lunch period.

lifelearningrn, BSN, RN · Mar 4, 2020

Yesterday I had a fifth grade student who was absent the day before come to see me because she had a burning rash on her arms and a couple spots on her legs. She pushed up her sleeves and she had pinkish red blotches up and down bilateral arms. She said they were stinging. It was unlike any rash I've seen before. She said her mom got her a doctor's appointment for next week but 'it burns mam!' I grab an antiseptic wipe and wouldn't you know, it came back pink. You could almost see the light bulb go off in little girls head. She said, "Ohhh, my cousin and I were painting over the weekend".. "It's the paint!" I told her to go wash her arms with soap and water. She giggled all the way out of the office and down the hall.

Either she's a good actress and was trying to fake a rash to go home, or she was freaking herself out about the rash on her arms. By the look on her face, I think the latter. ?

amoLucia · Mar 4, 2020

2 hours ago, ruby_jane said:
I hereby bequeath unto you the OldDude Award for Pragmatism and Realism In Service To School Nurses Everywhere.

PP = Poop Police Merit Award for Above & Beyond Dedication

BrisketRN, BSN, RN · Mar 6, 2020

"You just loooove sending kids back to class. That's your main jam, huh?" -Sick 1st grader observing me sending other kids back to class