Catchy One-Line Phrases

malenurse122879, MSN, RN · Aug 16, 2008

mine cant speak yet lol... I had a buddy like you did that could charm anyone and have them laughing when we were doing our med-surg 2 rotation in school this spring.

nursej22, MSN, RN · Aug 16, 2008

I used to work in a cardiac recovery unit. Pts are often quite chilled after a prolonged intervention so we would wrap them in warm blankets. One CNA would always say to the little old ladies " We give these to all our new mothers"! :wink2:

For those patients who had developed hematomas around their puncture sites I would warn them about the extensive bruising that would show up later, and that bikinis or speedos would be on hold for a while. I only had one elderly gentleman admit that was his usual swim wear. :roll

Ima Nurse · Aug 16, 2008

There is a nurse at the pediatrician clinic I take my preschool aged twins to, and she is hilarious. She's one of those people that can make everyone laugh. The funniest thing she ever said was on the day that she measured and weighed my girls. One of them had the same number for weight and and height. She said, "Little girlfriend, you're as big around as you are tall." :chuckle It was very cute.

Before anyone freaks out that my daughter weighed so much, it is because she has a feeding tube and she used to be failure to thrive. We started seeing a new pediatric GI and he put her on some meds to increase her appetite. He instructed us to feed her 6 cans of Pediasure per day. :eek: I thought that was way too much, and it was impossible to get that much into her each day so we did the best we could. When we would go to see him, if she hadn't put on even an ounce he would freak out and start making us come in for weekly weight checks. I've since started taking her to the GI clinic at Texas Children's in Houston, and the MD there has her on a more realistic healthy calorie/nutrition plan. :wink2:

Baloney Amputation, BSN, LPN, RN · Aug 16, 2008

My husband just told me last night what he says to some of his residents. I got a kick out of it, and so do they. When he's giving eye drops, he tells the resident to "Open your eyes and say AH!"

mrsraisinkain · Aug 16, 2008

There is a nurse at the pediatrician clinic I take my preschool aged twins to, and she is hilarious. She's one of those people that can make everyone laugh. The funniest thing she ever said was on the day that she measured and weighed my girls. One of them had the same number for weight and and height. She said, "Little girlfriend, you're as big around as you are tall." :chuckle It was very cute.

That's funny. When I took my daughter to the doctor when she was 4 1/2 she was 42 inches tall and weighed 42 pounds. The nurse weighing her told my girl she was a big square! Funny to me, not very funny to my daughter! She was concerned and said she wanted to be shaped like a girl, not like a square :wink2:

anurseuk · Aug 16, 2008

Sometimes I'll say to pt's when a dr is putting in an arterial line or chest drain that they can do it to him afterwards... they seem to like that.

Zookeeper3 · Aug 16, 2008

A one hit wonder.... patient that you couldn't get paid $1000pr/hr to take back the next night

pump head-those crazy CABG patients that "just ain't right" until day 3.

locolorenzo22, BSN, RN · Aug 16, 2008

whenever I give a boost to a older lady or gentleman..."better than a ride at the county fair!"

I work ortho...so if their knee machine is squeeking"guess I better go get the oilcan for that knee!"

We have a scanning system for medication safety....so when I go to scan the patient's armband after scanning all the meds it gives a little beep. So I usually say something like "1.99? Is that right?"...or "well, it's just like working at wal-mart!"

JohnBearPA · Aug 16, 2008

lol, while in the room administering meds, two CNA's gave the woman in the next bed a boost, and apparently came very close to banging her head on the headboard. They both apologized profusely, and the elderly pt told them "Don't worry honey, my husband used to bang my head off the headboard every Friday night for years, it wasn't the first time."

I about died laughing!

Jo Dirt · Aug 17, 2008

Regarding a dementia patient we just got in, a nurse giving report told me, she's as lost as last year's Easter eggs.

She was right.

pagandeva2000, LPN · Aug 17, 2008

One nurse was starting an IV and the patient liked to joke around. The nurse told her that having an IV started was like losing virginity...alittle prick and alittle blood and its all over.....
Now, that isnt something I would ever say to a patient, but I would love to hear some funny one-liners said to your patients...just to lighten the air for the ones who are jokers. There is one nurse at work who tries to joke with her patients but she manages to make them mad and then they refuse to allow her to be their nurse again. Then there is another who could say anything to her patients and they would laugh. It just comes natural to her, talented in that aspect.
Just wondering if any of you have any funny things you say to your patients to cheer them up and make them laugh (when appropriate, of course).

Actually, I have said similar things to patients and have usually gotten positive results. It really depends on observation skills-you can (usually) tell who can take this type of humor. I work in a inner city hospital that services the poor. Many of my patients love humor like that, and it actually helps them understand.