Catchy One-Line Phrases

[chenoaspirit]

One nurse was starting an IV and the patient liked to joke around. The nurse told her that having an IV started was like losing virginity...alittle prick and alittle blood and its all over.....

Now, that isnt something I would ever say to a patient, but I would love to hear some funny one-liners said to your patients...just to lighten the air for the ones who are jokers. There is one nurse at work who tries to joke with her patients but she manages to make them mad and then they refuse to allow her to be their nurse again. Then there is another who could say anything to her patients and they would laugh. It just comes natural to her, talented in that aspect.

Just wondering if any of you have any funny things you say to your patients to cheer them up and make them laugh (when appropriate, of course).

[pagandeva2000, LPN]

lol, while in the room administering meds, two CNA's gave the woman in the next bed a boost, and apparently came very close to banging her head on the headboard. They both apologized profusely, and the elderly pt told them "Don't worry honey, my husband used to bang my head off the headboard every Friday night for years, it wasn't the first time."

I about died laughing!

OMG! I would have LOVED that one...:chuckle

[chenoaspirit, ASN, RN]

lol, while in the room administering meds, two CNA's gave the woman in the next bed a boost, and apparently came very close to banging her head on the headboard. They both apologized profusely, and the elderly pt told them "Don't worry honey, my husband used to bang my head off the headboard every Friday night for years, it wasn't the first time."

I about died laughing!

omg, that is so hilarious!

[Babs0512]

Myself and another staff member were trying to put a foley cath in this elderly woman. She was making it very difficulty by trying to hold her legs together whenever I was ready to insert the catheter. After numerious attepts at getting her to relax, in exasperation I said:

"Would it help if I lit some candles and dimmed the lights?"

The patient started laughing, and we had the foley in, in no time!

[ruralnurs]

One of my nurse friends was a prison nurse for 12 years, now whenever we have a less than nice pt (usually a DT'er or a drunk that fell off the bar stool in the ER sobering up) she says, "His mother should have eaten him while his bones were still soft." I guess you have to be a prison nurse to have such a sense of humor!

[loriangel14, RN]

We have a wonderful charge nurse that loves to pitch in on the floor if she is not busy. Her favorite thing to do is shower pts and if she gets one that refuses she says "Well now you know I get paid by the wash, how'm I gonna feed my babies at home if you say no?"

[loriangel14, RN]

Under our breath so the pts can't hear we also say" The H does not stand for Hilton"