Being Sexually Harrassed

[markymark]

I need some advice. I am a male nurse that graduated in December. the first month or 2 I loved my job. Then the ADON began making comments of a sexual nature to 2 female nurses in front of me. At first I would just leave and try to find something else to do and catch up on my charting later. These comments escalated into her asking me questions about the size of my member and actually asked me to go into the bathroom and measure it and let her know how big it is. This behavior by her made me very uncomfortable and I let her know. She blocked the exit to the clean utility room once and just started saying very nasty stuff to me and also would try to embarass me in front of the 2 other female nurses. I would say that she got angry that after many episodes of this nature, I would not engage her with that type of discussion. This woman also sends Mediaography via her cell phone to several employees including some very young CNAs. Now this woman has pulled me off the hall I was working and given me the worst scheduling/assignments. I finally went to the DON and Adminisrator and lodged a complaint. The admin. and DON called in witnessess who told them it was true and then some. I called the Admin. today and he said that he hadn't spoke to the ADON but that I just needed to show up for work and I cut him off and said that I could no longer work under this woman as my boss. He sounded upset and asked "What do you want me to do, fire her?" I responded that it wasn't my place to answer that but that I think this is their chance to send a clear message that this kind of behavior wont be tolerated. I dont know what to do. If they want to keep her as my boss, should I go over his head? I live in a small town and feel I might have a hard time getting a job after this. I cant believe that they would want someone like this to run the facility. I am no prude but when it is your boss doing this you relly feel helpless. I know if it was me that treated one of my female CNAs this way I woul have been fired the same day. I worked hard in school and now I am wondering if my Nursing career might be ended prematurely. My question is, do I stand up for what is right or do I just give in? I know this woman will retaliate if she remains my boss. Thanks

[fakebee]

Congratulations on standing up for yourself and your fellow employees!:balloons: That your administrator doesn't know what to do about this is sickening. You've made your position clear now gather up all the evidence, witnesses, etc that you can and open your phone book to the lawyer section and start dialing. Tell your harasser and her supervisor that any questions or comments they have will be answered by your attorney. You will find that in a culture that tolerates this crap the only way to change it is to initiate a lawsuit. Corporations especially hospitals understand lawsuits. No one deserves to be treated like this and any one who would do this to a fellow worker needs to be gone right now. Drop the hammer on these nasty rats now!Make sure you nail that spineless administrator too-he or she is as much a part of the problem as your nasty harasser.

[justme1972]

I think you should stand up for yourself, meanwhile, go today to Walmart and buy the smallest recorder you can find and keep it in your pocket. If you encounter her again, turn it on. I would probably do the same if you talk to your supervisor's again.

Your employer, is just as guilty as she is if they don't address it.

I firmly believe that men are subjected to sexual harrassment, not as much as females, but that it does happen, and too many managers treat it as a joke.

You are very correct that had the situation been reversed, you would have been fired the same day, or at minimum, relocated to another facility.

You have the right not to work under her, especially since she is your boss. By them not taking action, they are forcing you to work in a hostile work environment.

I guarantee this ADON has done this before...b/c what she is doing, she is doing with WAY too much confidence.

People typically engage in behavior that they know they can get away with.

[fultzymom]

I do not think anyone should put up with that kind of treatment at work. To me, if it was a woman being treated like that, action would have been taken right away. I know that is not a fair statement, but most likely true. I could not work in an environment et I would tell them that I like my job but if they are not going to say something to her, sadly I would have to turn in my resignation. And I would.

[GingerSue]

go today to Walmart and buy the smallest recorder you can find and keep it in your pocket. If you encounter her again, turn it on.

if you're going to get a small recorder, which is a good idea, then I would

suggest to find a good, reliable one - but not necessarily from Walmart.

My reason -- I got one myself last year in order to hide the recorder in my pocket with the microphone clipped inside my shirt -- I got one from Walmart, brought it home, it worked for a total of 5 minutes. After that, no way would it turn on again, so I had to take it back the next day. And -- I needed that recorder to prove what another person was saying.

Find a recorder that'll work well for you.

all the best to you.

[leslie :-D]

this is repulsive on so many levels.

i like the idea of a mini-recorder but you do need something reliable.

also, don't be surprised if the adon has been tipped off.

by all means, pursue this.

but you may have to find employment elsewhere.

prayers for total vindication.

leslie

[nuberianne_RN]

I think you should stand up for yourself, meanwhile, go today to Walmart and buy the smallest recorder you can find and keep it in your pocket. If you encounter her again, turn it on. I would probably do the same if you talk to your supervisor's again.

Be very, very careful with this. In some states it is a criminal offense to record someone's conversation without their knowledge. The admin might even try to play dirty games and accuse you of HIPAA violations. After all if you record staff conversations what is to stop you from recording patient conversations? Of course I don't believe that you will do that, but their lawyers will try every trick in the book to muddy up the waters. This has the potential to be a very large case.

Make an appointment to have a consultation with a lawyer immediately and get advice from your state's Department of Labor. They can tell you how to get all your ducks in a row.

[Freedom42]

Be very, very careful with this. In some states it is a criminal offense to record someone's conversation without their knowledge.

That's right. I would not record any conversation, but I would make very careful written notes ("At 1:17 p.m. on June 15, she blocked the door").

Before you hire a lawyer, I would suggest taking advantage of the free legal services that are available to you, either through your state's human rights commission or the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. I hope you and your co-workers will also keep in mind that you are not the only victim. The law says that a victim is anyone affected by the offensive conduct.

I am baffled that this kind of offensive behavior continues in workplaces. Every once in a while we hear about these egregious cases -- sending Media on a cell phone to co-workers? -- and you have to wonder what rocks these people live under. I can only presume that your employer does not comply with laws that require employees to undergo training on sexual harassment. I'm sure any regulatory agency would be happy to investigate that.

[chadash]

Of course she should be fired!

This is unbelievable. Please don't give up on nursing, sounds like a screwy place to work though if they allow this.

[santhony44, MSN, RN, NP]

Quote: He sounded upset and asked "What do you want me to do, fire her?"

YES!!! If he had any smarts at all he'd have her out of there so fast her head would spin.

As someone else pointed out, once the administrator knows it's happening and doesn't stop it, he's equally guilty! Something like this is big, big lawsuit material. I think not only do you have a case, so do the CNAs. She's making the work environment hostile for everyone.

I also agree that if it were a male supervisor and female employee it would probably have been handled a lot quicker. No one should have to put up with this stuff, male or female.

I also agree with talking to a lawyer and the state's dept. of labor.

That's just disgusting. I'm sorry it's been happening to you!

[justme1972]

Be very, very careful with this. In some states it is a criminal offense to record someone's conversation without their knowledge. The admin might even try to play dirty games and accuse you of HIPAA violations. After all if you record staff conversations what is to stop you from recording patient conversations? Of course I don't believe that you will do that, but their lawyers will try every trick in the book to muddy up the waters. This has the potential to be a very large case.

Make an appointment to have a consultation with a lawyer immediately and get advice from your state's Department of Labor. They can tell you how to get all your ducks in a row.

In all due respect, if my employer is breaking the law by not looking out for my interests on a clear-cut case of sexual harrassment, I would probably care less if it was legal or not to record conversations I had with my employer. I would get the evidence first and review it with a lawyer later. No one has to know you are recording it.

As far as recording patient conversations....that isn't part of the topic.

[MikeyJ, RN]

I experienced a very similar circumstance approximately 4 or 5 years ago. I was a senior in high school working for a very small company. The night manager constantly sexually harassed me and try and get me to do things on the job with her. Enough was enough and I went to the manager and owner of the company. They didn't do anything at first but then threatened to bring a lawsuit against them if nothing was done. Needless to say this lady was fired and I was able to keep my job (I was actually promoted to her position a year later.. haha).

But my point is to not let it go. Keep on fighting it and do what it takes to get the message across that a company cannot have someone like this on their staff -- especially in such a coveted position as hers.

Good luck!