Being Sexually Harrassed

[markymark]

I need some advice. I am a male nurse that graduated in December. the first month or 2 I loved my job. Then the ADON began making comments of a sexual nature to 2 female nurses in front of me. At first I would just leave and try to find something else to do and catch up on my charting later. These comments escalated into her asking me questions about the size of my member and actually asked me to go into the bathroom and measure it and let her know how big it is. This behavior by her made me very uncomfortable and I let her know. She blocked the exit to the clean utility room once and just started saying very nasty stuff to me and also would try to embarass me in front of the 2 other female nurses. I would say that she got angry that after many episodes of this nature, I would not engage her with that type of discussion. This woman also sends Mediaography via her cell phone to several employees including some very young CNAs. Now this woman has pulled me off the hall I was working and given me the worst scheduling/assignments. I finally went to the DON and Adminisrator and lodged a complaint. The admin. and DON called in witnessess who told them it was true and then some. I called the Admin. today and he said that he hadn't spoke to the ADON but that I just needed to show up for work and I cut him off and said that I could no longer work under this woman as my boss. He sounded upset and asked "What do you want me to do, fire her?" I responded that it wasn't my place to answer that but that I think this is their chance to send a clear message that this kind of behavior wont be tolerated. I dont know what to do. If they want to keep her as my boss, should I go over his head? I live in a small town and feel I might have a hard time getting a job after this. I cant believe that they would want someone like this to run the facility. I am no prude but when it is your boss doing this you relly feel helpless. I know if it was me that treated one of my female CNAs this way I woul have been fired the same day. I worked hard in school and now I am wondering if my Nursing career might be ended prematurely. My question is, do I stand up for what is right or do I just give in? I know this woman will retaliate if she remains my boss. Thanks

[chadash]

Yeah, I wonder if it is because you are a guy that it is not being dealt with....but this is just incredible. I am sorry you suffering this indignity.

Also, the Media thing, that is real solid, not hearsay. All someone has to do is show them what she is sending. This is a real no brainer.

[grandee3]

Is this woman insane? Is this a hospital? If it is, I would not put my dog in there. This is probably not the first time she has done this, but you can make it her last. Stick with your plan, get a lawyer. It is not worth your license to work at a place that would put someone in a management position that acts the way this woman does.

[bigsyis]

:angryfire What she did and the Manager is trying to passively do is DEAD WRONG! If the roles were reversed, don't you think it likely that something would have already been done? What you have there are intolerable working conditions. Small town or not, I think I'd talk with a lawyer to find out the best way to proceed. You don't have to sue (but I think you very well could), you just need to know how best to protect your interests! Don't forget to let us know how this sorry saga unfolds.l Best of luck.

[fleur-de-lis, BSN, RN]

Have you talked to HR? Sometimes they are more knowledgable about sexual harassment policies and laws. Give them a call and slip the phrase "hostile work environment" into the conversation and you bet they'll jump. If not, you have a case against the facility for failure to protect you, and great sums of money have been awarded in cases like this. (From someone who has worked in HR before)

[penguin2]

Contact a lawyer & the EEOC & lodge a formal complaint w/them. Believe me, once they get your complaint, they will take it seriously!! Should they FIRE her? Are they MORONS?? People are fired for MUCH less!! Good luck!

[Donnetterr]

In my experience, those who report sexual harrassment are treated worse than those who dish it out. I can tell you what I recently did when my supervisor (male) kept telling me (female ) which other employees he found attractive. I got sick of hearing, "She sure is cute, she's too cute to be a _____, she's sure got a good figure" and on and on and on. So, one day I picked some random, reasonably good-looking male employee and waited. Next time the boss mentioned who he thought was a hottie, I replied with, "Yeah, but have you seen ___. He's is HOT HOT HOT. I can barely concentrate looking at him every day." Well, I kept this up for a while and finally the boss said, "I don't see what's so great about him." And guess what? No cute girl comments ever since!

[justme1972]

Contact a lawyer & the EEOC & lodge a formal complaint w/them. Believe me, once they get your complaint, they will take it seriously!! Should they FIRE her? Are they MORONS?? People are fired for MUCH less!! Good luck!

I would go to HR first before the EEOC...once you get an outside, government agency involved, you mine as well set the clock to see when you career with a company is over.

Very, VERY few employees are still able to stay with a company successfully after filing a complaint with the EEOC.

Yeah, they can't fire you in retaliation, but you can bet your bottom dollar they will pick your job apart until they find a valid reason.

Better to go to HR.

[Freedom42]

In all due respect, if my employer is breaking the law by not looking out for my interests on a clear-cut case of sexual harrassment, I would probably care less if it was legal or not to record conversations I had with my employer. I would get the evidence first and review it with a lawyer later. No one has to know you are recording it.

As far as recording patient conversations....that isn't part of the topic.

"No one has to know you are recording it." Actually, depending on the state that you're in, they do. My state is a one-party consent state; only I would have to know about the recording if I were the one making it. Maryland, for example, is a two-party consent state, and authorities there have filed criminal charges against people who violate that recording law. You shouldn't make the mess worse by trampling on someone else's legal rights, no matter how loathsome that person might be. And as another poster noted, if your case goes to court, your behavior will be picked apart, just as that of the accused.

[nuberianne_RN]

In all due respect, if my employer is breaking the law by not looking out for my interests on a clear-cut case of sexual harrassment, I would probably care less if it was legal or not to record conversations I had with my employer. I would get the evidence first and review it with a lawyer later. No one has to know you are recording it.

As far as recording patient conversations....that isn't part of the topic.

Evidence that is obtained illegally is usually not allowed in court. Why should the OP have to resort to criminal behavior to try to win a case when he already has damaging evidence in his favor? The only thing that can do is upset a judge and let the opposing lawyers have a field day. It seems incredible to me that you would tell some that you could care less about what is legal or not.

By the way, if you read my whole post you would have noticed that I said to get advice from a lawyer immediately. If the lawyer says recording is legal then the OP should run not walk to the nearest store and get a recorder.

As far as your comment regarding recording patient conversations, you totally missed my point. I know it is difficult for me to get my point across in print since we are not having a verbal conversation. What I was trying to say is this. If this becomes a full blown case the hospital's lawyers can use the OP's recordings as a distraction in trial. They might try to attack his character by accusing him of using his recorder for other purposes such as patient recordings. I made it clear in my original post that I was not accusing the Op of this. Everyone has given good pointers so far. I was just trying to bring out another point.

[preciousbaby621]

First of all, I am so sorry that you're involved in this vile situtation. Hearing about this stuff bothers me on many levels.

My question is this, why the heck are they having these lewd conversations at work? and in a hospital? Gross!! Does this happen at all hospitals??

[lovemyjob]

I think you can file a claim with the labor board. They might be a good place to start, considedring their job is to protect the worker.

I wish all of the best to you. Keep your head up and your pride strong. A person who gets off on the power she holds over you is bound to try her best to humiliate you b/c you have turned down her repulsive advances.

[totallytheresa]

You are smart for letting her know right away that you did not welcome her sexual harassment. The next step was correct too, going above her.

I was sexually harassed by my old bosses (not in healthcare field at the time) I did get a mini recorder to tape them asking me inappropriate questions and my responses to them, and I just happened to have the recorder on catching them cornering me and my yelling at them to get off me and leave me alone, and do you know that is the thing that ultimately won my lawsuit against them? We never ended up having to go to court though. Good luck with it, nobody should ever have to put up with that n any situation, especially the workplace. I don't understand why people think they can talk to others that way, or what makes them think it's welcome!