Being Sexually Harrassed

[markymark]

I need some advice. I am a male nurse that graduated in December. the first month or 2 I loved my job. Then the ADON began making comments of a sexual nature to 2 female nurses in front of me. At first I would just leave and try to find something else to do and catch up on my charting later. These comments escalated into her asking me questions about the size of my member and actually asked me to go into the bathroom and measure it and let her know how big it is. This behavior by her made me very uncomfortable and I let her know. She blocked the exit to the clean utility room once and just started saying very nasty stuff to me and also would try to embarass me in front of the 2 other female nurses. I would say that she got angry that after many episodes of this nature, I would not engage her with that type of discussion. This woman also sends Mediaography via her cell phone to several employees including some very young CNAs. Now this woman has pulled me off the hall I was working and given me the worst scheduling/assignments. I finally went to the DON and Adminisrator and lodged a complaint. The admin. and DON called in witnessess who told them it was true and then some. I called the Admin. today and he said that he hadn't spoke to the ADON but that I just needed to show up for work and I cut him off and said that I could no longer work under this woman as my boss. He sounded upset and asked "What do you want me to do, fire her?" I responded that it wasn't my place to answer that but that I think this is their chance to send a clear message that this kind of behavior wont be tolerated. I dont know what to do. If they want to keep her as my boss, should I go over his head? I live in a small town and feel I might have a hard time getting a job after this. I cant believe that they would want someone like this to run the facility. I am no prude but when it is your boss doing this you relly feel helpless. I know if it was me that treated one of my female CNAs this way I woul have been fired the same day. I worked hard in school and now I am wondering if my Nursing career might be ended prematurely. My question is, do I stand up for what is right or do I just give in? I know this woman will retaliate if she remains my boss. Thanks

[eltrip]

Good luck! Have you called an attorney yet? It would be good to get advice from one before going into this meeting.

[teeituptom, BSN, RN]

I am against all sexual harassment, I am also against a hostile work enviroments of any kind.

But after carefully reading your post. How do I put this. I dont believe you. I feel you are posting this just to stir things up.

If Im wrong I apologize.

[markymark]

And I can respect your opinion. I will admit that to think that a boss would do this is crazy but i will tell you that the meeting at 10 am this morning started by the administrator saying I investigated your complaint and found it to be true, but I think they will do nothing about it. When you report this kind of thing they try and make ity like its your fault. Luckily I just recieved a great evaluation from my floor supervisor and have a copy of it so they cant say I wasnt doing a good job.

[leslie :-D]

I am against all sexual harassment, I am also against a hostile work enviroments of any kind.

But after carefully reading your post. How do I put this. I dont believe you. I feel you are posting this just to stir things up.

If Im wrong I apologize.

you are crusty, tom.

i'll give you that.

leslie

[leslie :-D]

And I can respect your opinion. I will admit that to think that a boss would do this is crazy but i will tell you that the meeting at 10 am this morning started by the administrator saying I investigated your complaint and found it to be true, but I think they will do nothing about it. When you report this kind of thing they try and make ity like its your fault. Luckily I just recieved a great evaluation from my floor supervisor and have a copy of it so they cant say I wasnt doing a good job.

i believe you marky!

i'm glad you were vindicated by some, anyway.

be careful.

there may be repercussions.

people play dirty.

protect yourself.

leslie

[markymark]

I think I might just have to move on. I love being a nurse and I wont give up on that. I think the fact that I am from a big city and I am now in a small town might have played into this. I might have to move somewhere where more opportunities exsist. Thanks to everyone for listening. Although I have not posted much here, I have gotten a tremendous amount of information from reading other posts, espescially while in Nursing School.

[markymark]

Thanks Leslie. I am awaiting the outcome and should hear by Monday but I will tell you that if I had to do it all over again, I think I would have just went to work somewhere else because now not only do I have a target on my back but the people who stepped up and told the truth do as well. I feel really bad about that.

[ShayRN]

I think it takes great courage for anyone to stand up for themselves and say "THIS ISN'T RIGHT!!!" I want to thank you for doing that. As for the nurses who stood by you, I for one, would be very proud to do that for a co-worker. AND, believe me when I tell you, I CAN and DO protect myself. Target on their backs? I would document, document, document every instance of bullcrap they get, believe me when I tell you I would take it to an attorney. I am NOT one to sue, but defending myself in anyway, I would do that in a heartbeat. Again, GOOD JOB and good luck.

[leslie :-D]

Thanks Leslie. I am awaiting the outcome and should hear by Monday but I will tell you that if I had to do it all over again, I think I would have just went to work somewhere else because now not only do I have a target on my back but the people who stepped up and told the truth do as well. I feel really bad about that.

mark, what you did took courage and fortitude.

i'm proud to call you my colleague.

but....

if these facilities had an absolute zero tolerance policy re: harrassment, bullying, hostile working conditions, then presenting your complaint would have made for a much smoother transition.

i wonder if your administrator is licensed.

he needs a swift dopeslap on the upside.

shame on him.

same with your adon.

there are facilities out there that will vindicate and protect you.

keep you chin up.

you did well.

best of everything to you...:balloons:

leslie

[kukukajoo, LPN]

Mark- stick to your guns you are right in this and they need to protect you in any way possible. Another thing- read your employee manual and make sure you follow reporting steps to a T and if nothing is done, go outside- to an atty, the EEOC, etc.

Hopefull- There are laws that pertain to ANY recording without permission of one of the parties and I believe in NH it is a misdemeanor and no joke. That the police overlooked the initial recordings in your state is a godsend but that may not be the case when the defense (the hospital or the offender) learns of illegally obtained recordings if indeed is illegal in Mark's state.

Best to check on the laws before undergoing such a task to collect evidence so that you do not become criminally prosecuted in the process.

[Freedom42]

I know what you are referring to...you are referring to the laws that got Linda Tripp criminally charged in the Monica Lewinsky case.

Phone conversations and LIVE, person-to-person conversations....not even close.

Actually, I was thinking of a manager who put a hidden tape recorder in a break room so he could figure out who was vandalizing the soda machine. It wound up being investigated by police.

[JoAnnS]

hello:

first, i am sorry for your trouble. this is the worst thing i have heard so far in nursing. i am going to school this sept for the lpn program. please don't give up. go above any/all heads to report this horrible behavior. document ever thing and make notice who is around that is a witness.

like you said, you have worked real hard to get here. no one should make you feel so awful you give up your dream. you might also want to call the labor board as well or where ever you are supposed to call to alert them to this.

i do want to wish you the best. if worst comes to worse, you might have to leave this hospital and find another place to work.

good luck to you