So I asked my mother if she could co-sign on a loan with me today because she has great credit and because I just got an e-bill in the mail yesterday saying that I still owe the school $5,234 for my tuition and fees. It was a pretty big surprise and a setback for me because I thought that my two scholarships would covered it all.
Nope, I'm in the hole. But long story short my mother told me she will absolutely not co-sign on a student loan with me because it will garnish all her wages and she doesn't want to go into college debt for me. And I have no one else to ask in my family because my grandmother has bad credit and my father is not in my life to ask him.
I don't have a job and never had one before, so I'm just freaking out now on what should I do.
My mother has always been this way( she didn't even want to fill out the fafsa for me because she didn't want them having her SSN). I tried joining NROTC a year ago when I was still in HS so they can give me a really great scholarship, but my mother wouldn't allow that either. I couldn't even get a job because my mother had let my driver's permit expire so I wasn't able to obtain a car to get to work everyday, even though I had about 3 job offers at the time.
Now I'm afraid she's trying to take away my future of becoming a nurse as well. She even suggested for me to wait until I'm 24 when I can become independent to apply for the fafsa or just go get a bachelors in early education and wait to become a nurse. But I don't want to wait.
What should I do?
(I'm sorry for my long post and me renting as well).
I feel badly for OP. I would not want to be 17 in the year 2015. I feel like the world is a much harder place to "make it" in than it was when *I* was 17/just graduating high school (a little over 10 years ago). I also know that it's definitely harder than it was when my parents graduated high school (almost 50 years ago). Now I'm of the no kids/never kids child-free persuasion and looking at how tough it is for kids today vs. kids 10, 20, 30 years ago - I'm really happy with my decision.
I could compare my decisions to OP's decisions... but it wouldn't be fair. 10 or so years ago my community college was $11 a unit, the Universities here were way more affordable (and could be paid by a part time job/without loans), entry level employment was easier to obtain, I could get a 2bd apartment for
I hear a lot of talk about "millennial entitlement"... but what I've observed isn't so much entitlement, but desperation. Yeah, there are those that are "entitled"... but that's multi-generational. I see just as much entitlement in the older generation than the younger ones. College today is almost necessary to gain employment. Not just "hey I got a degree".... hire me! But you really have to choose the right major (STEM, Healthcare or something that'll get you into graduate school) because nothing else is going to be worth the money you're dumping into university. My parents were able to secure really good jobs with an English degree and a History degree. Today? Ha, good luck with that.
When I graduated from high school, it was pretty easy just to attend community college for a couple of years and then transfer to university. My parents? They just shot out an application to their universities of choice (neither of them had stellar grades or extracurriculars... and they both got acceptances easily). Today? Colleges are packed, tuition is expensive and many majors are shutting the doors to transfer students (because they get so many applications and they don't even have enough seats for the 4 year students). It's not about just sending in your application. It's about having the best grades, with the best test scores, the right clubs, honors societies and other extracurricular activities. The kids in college and high school now work 10x harder than I had to (that was only 8 years ago) to get into university.
Those entry level jobs? I worked at a pizza place with a bunch of other teens/college aged kids 10 years ago. Now when I go in there? The people working the pizza place are in their 30's and 40's. Those jobs that use to be "younger people jobs", now are being competed for by individuals that have been displaced from their original area of work (In the city where I grew up the big businesses left to go overseas/outsourced... leaving a lot of people really desperate to find anything).
The military is letting go of people right now and the waits some of my friends have had to start basic is ridiculous. It's not the "fall back" way to shoot yourself into independence like it use to be.
Gas is closing in on $5 a gallon... a little bit less than minimum wage. In comparison... one hour of federal minimum wage would get you a gallon and a half of gasoline. When I fill up my car? It costs me about $50. That's almost an entire day of work at the federal minimum wage level. You're working an ENTIRE day just to fill up your gas tank. The transportation system too has taken a hit... The buses don't come as often, don't run as late and a 30 min drive in my car... takes almost 2 hours by bus.
Housing costs? Where I live right now it would be impossible to find a 2bd
I'm not saying that "making it" or gaining independence is impossible. I'm just saying that I feel like a lot of people are comparing their situations to OP's situation... and honestly I don't know how fair it is to do that considering some of differences between growing up in the 80's, 90's, early 00's and today.
You are 17 years old. That explains a lot, and I do not mean that unkindly. You are legitimately lacking in life experience (no shame there) and subject to your parent's fears and concerns. Until you are independent, you will need to compromise. Don't be too quick to commit to large student loans, especially if you are going to a for-profit nursing program. Seek guidance from counselors at multiple schools. Take your pre-reqs at a community college. Many people struggle with Anatomy, Physiology, and Microbiology. It is better to struggle with your pre-reqs at a state or city school than a high-priced and accelerated private program. Become an expert on which classes transfer where, and what programs near you require. Give yourself time to learn who you are and what your strengths are.
Once your start your nursing program, remember that it will need to be your priority for several years. No moving out of state, having kids, etc.
Becoming a nurse while you are still quite young will be an amazing gift to give yourself. Hang on to your goal and you will have a great career.
Sorry if I'm confusing everyone so I will just clear it all up:
1.) I do not literally "owe" the school, but I did receive an e-bill in the mail telling me that this money has yet to be paid.
2). This will be my first year as a freshman so I've never been to college before.
3). I have not been accepted into the nursing program yet, I just will be pre-nursing.
And I thank everyone for their comments because you guys have really helped me. I'm looking into going the LPN route since it's only 16,000 a year and my scholarship money can be applied to that. I also receive my 10,000 settlement money in October since I was in a really bad car accident last year as a passenger. But I'm not sure what I will do with that yet, besides buying a car with it and becoming a CNA while in school.
I have been attending College since I was 17 trying to pusue a career in Nursing. I come from a low income family. No family support. I actually got kicked out of the house because my mother remarried and "needed space" I have had 3 great jobs and got married have 2 children right now a 1 year old and 2 year old and guess what I am now 28 and never have I stopped attempting to pursue my dream of becoming a nurse. If you want something and don't want the life you have now you have to decide to do it. No one can do it for you. Yes there will be roadblocks. Yes it will get difficult, overwhelming and it may seem impossible but all things are possible....With God all things are possible. I own a home 2 kids husband 2 cars and just passed my NCLEX in Jesus Name yesterday 10+ years later. But that is way more than anyone in my family. Mother has a highschool diploma. Dad never finished highschool and is a drunk. Grandma didnt pass 6th grade. My mom has been divorced 3 times, and is on section 8. I am so blessed, never gave up and have a positive outlook on my future. Go get what you want. Don't let anyone stop you. Don't blame anyone. If anything, the trials and obstacles will only make you stronger, a better person, and more appreciative of what you work for.
I'm going to go out on a limb and think it's a private program and not a "real school." I don't know how this makes more sense than getting an ADN at half that cost at a community college, especially at an age where being an LPN/LVN is becoming antiquated. Here in Dallas, an LVN can't get a job outside a jail or nursing home. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuut I think this might be teenager logic.
I didn't read this whole thread. However if you want to become a nurse, then you have to make it happen for yourself. Plenty of people do it. You have to get a job and live life and work for it. Many people do not have the support of their families. It is up to you. If you are an adult, then you can do it! Where there is a will there is a way! I think many of us working for our nursing degree have had an independent path to get there. It may not happen in two years, but it can happen if you want it too.
If you are not yet an adult and cannot make all the decisions for yourself, then you have to wait until you become an adult. Then you can do what needs to be done to get where you want to go! Many high schools offer medical courses where you can become a CNA, at least the bigger high schools do. Maybe you can look into that option. If you get employed through a big hospital theyvoften offer tuition assistance.
Isn't there a section on the FAFSA where you can select that a parent refuses to give information?
My kids filled out their own FAFSA forms. I gave them my tax returns and they took it from there. Never a peep about, "You are holding out on me." They also took care of their own learner's permits, licenses, and driver exams. If your mom won't let you use her car, ask someone else.
Welcome to the wonderful world of being an adult! You thought it was going to be easy? :) You'll learn, really. You need some practice, but now's the time to get going. You've had a lot of good advice on this thread.
Seriously, do be brave and call those financial aid advisers at your school(s). They talk to people like you all day long and they will take it from the top for you.
Don't spend a ton of money on a commercial school ($16,000 for LPN is ridiculous and you won't be able to get a job anyway-- and you'll be stuck with paying for loans anyway...) Take your settlement and your scholarship and go to a good ADN program. I like the idea of telling your mom you're taking prerequisites for teaching-- it's not a lie, you'd probably be taking the same classes anyway for pre-nursing-- and working as a CNA to get some of your own money.
And seriously see if you can get somebody else to help raise your young half-siblings-- it's not reasonable to leave a 17-year-old in charge of three younger kids for days at a time. Your school can help with that, too-- the guidance counselor from your high school will still talk to you, too, even though you did graduate in May.
And as far as I know a permit cannot be renewed once it's expired because I had it for two 1/2 years and never used it.
You can renew your permit very easily by going back to the DDS. I never used my permit (I'm now just getting my license at 17- take the test tomorrow) through all 2 years and had to go back and renew it. You may need to retake the test if it is expired, but it is definitely not a big deal. You need your permit to get your license as well so you will need to renew it.
My kids filled out their own FAFSA forms. I gave them my tax returns and they took it from there. Never a peep about, "You are holding out on me." They also took care of their own learner's permits, licenses, and driver exams. If your mom won't let you use her car, ask someone else.
Welcome to the wonderful world of being an adult! You thought it was going to be easy? :) You'll learn, really. You need some practice, but now's the time to get going. You've had a lot of good advice on this thread.
Seriously, do be brave and call those financial aid advisers at your school(s). They talk to people like you all day long and they will take it from the top for you.
Don't spend a ton of money on a commercial school ($16,000 for LPN is ridiculous and you won't be able to get a job anyway-- and you'll be stuck with paying for loans anyway...) Take your settlement and your scholarship and go to a good ADN program. I like the idea of telling your mom you're taking prerequisites for teaching-- it's not a lie, you'd probably be taking the same classes anyway for pre-nursing-- and working as a CNA to get some of your own money.
And seriously see if you can get somebody else to help raise your young half-siblings-- it's not reasonable to leave a 17-year-old in charge of three younger kids for days at a time. Your school can help with that, too-- the guidance counselor from your high school will still talk to you, too, even though you did graduate in May.
I think that this is being missed by many posters. Her mom is REFUSING TO GIVE HER THE TAX RETURNS. Without that she has some obstacles regarding financial aid.
I skimmed so I might have missed it but did anybody mention Job Corp?
Job Corp is throughout the country but different campuses in different places offer different training. Some centers only offer CNA but others offer LPN.
Basically when you join Job Corp you get a place to stay, and a stipend, little bit of spending money each month. You'll live in a dorm and either go to school or to job training. If you don't have a high school diploma or a GED they'll help you finish either. Living accommodations really depend on which Job Corp you go to. In most places you will share a room with one or two others your age, but some places have larger dorms. Generally two to a room though is the norm. You would eat meals there, they have laundry facilities. If you don't have a car that's not an issue because you could choose a campus that is in a city with bus transportation.
You can check the link below to see if there is a Job Corp program offering LPN training in your state and if not see if there is a center in a nearby or even distant state you wouldn't mind moving to at least temporarily to get through school.
Click on your state and search, for my state the Job Corp info was all the way at the bottom so be sure and scroll down. Even though some schools offer the CNA as a standalone program without the LPN I would not recommend that. It would be better to enroll in a Job Corp that offers the CNA and LPN program together. You don't have to go to the Job Corp nearest you.
Once you have your LPN you'll probably have to work in a nursing home to gain some experience as the hospitals have replaced LPNs, hiring patient care techs whom they can pay several dollars an hour less. However once you have a couple of years of experience you can work in home health, schools, hospice, corrections just to name a few places and even without a great deal of experience many places hire LPNs to work in clinics and offices though the pay tends to be a lot less. If you have your LPN you can work in any state regardless of which state you are licensed in through the Veterans Administration.
If you get good grades as an LPN you can apply for scholarships to pursue your RN. You could apply for National Health Service Scholarship if you're an exceptional student. You could find out do you like nursing enough to pursue your RN and if so determine whether or not you want to join the military. You wouldn't have to go full time you could join the reserves Army or Navy if medical/healthcare is your interest.
Also do a google search for youth employment services in your state. There might be programs to help young people find work, access job training in your state. You can also call Unemployment (in some places it's called Work Source) and ask what programs they have designed to help young people, teens. Good luck.
I've got an idea get a job. our parents do not owe us an education , maybe she doesn't want to sign herself for a loan for someone who doesn't understand personal accountability.
go to a tech school where tuition is more affordable...most of all nursing is hard work
get used to it .
So I asked my mother if she could co-sign on a loan with me today because she has great credit and because I just got an e-bill in the mail yesterday saying that I still owe the school $5,234 for my tuition and fees. It was a pretty big surprise and a setback for me because I thought that my two scholarships would covered it all.
Nope, I'm in the hole. But long story short my mother told me she will absolutely not co-sign on a student loan with me because it will garnish all her wages and she doesn't want to go into college debt for me. And I have no one else to ask in my family because my grandmother has bad credit and my father is not in my life to ask him.
I don't have a job and never had one before, so I'm just freaking out now on what should I do.
My mother has always been this way( she didn't even want to fill out the fafsa for me because she didn't want them having her SSN). I tried joining NROTC a year ago when I was still in HS so they can give me a really great scholarship, but my mother wouldn't allow that either. I couldn't even get a job because my mother had let my driver's permit expire so I wasn't able to obtain a car to get to work everyday, even though I had about 3 job offers at the time.
Now I'm afraid she's trying to take away my future of becoming a nurse as well. She even suggested for me to wait until I'm 24 when I can become independent to apply for the fafsa or just go get a bachelors in early education and wait to become a nurse. But I don't want to wait.
What should I do?
(I'm sorry for my long post and me renting as well).
JustKeepDriving
119 Posts
I feel badly for OP. I would not want to be 17 in the year 2015. I feel like the world is a much harder place to "make it" in than it was when *I* was 17/just graduating high school (a little over 10 years ago). I also know that it's definitely harder than it was when my parents graduated high school (almost 50 years ago). Now I'm of the no kids/never kids child-free persuasion and looking at how tough it is for kids today vs. kids 10, 20, 30 years ago - I'm really happy with my decision.
I could compare my decisions to OP's decisions... but it wouldn't be fair. 10 or so years ago my community college was $11 a unit, the Universities here were way more affordable (and could be paid by a part time job/without loans), entry level employment was easier to obtain, I could get a 2bd apartment for
I hear a lot of talk about "millennial entitlement"... but what I've observed isn't so much entitlement, but desperation. Yeah, there are those that are "entitled"... but that's multi-generational. I see just as much entitlement in the older generation than the younger ones. College today is almost necessary to gain employment. Not just "hey I got a degree".... hire me! But you really have to choose the right major (STEM, Healthcare or something that'll get you into graduate school) because nothing else is going to be worth the money you're dumping into university. My parents were able to secure really good jobs with an English degree and a History degree. Today? Ha, good luck with that.
When I graduated from high school, it was pretty easy just to attend community college for a couple of years and then transfer to university. My parents? They just shot out an application to their universities of choice (neither of them had stellar grades or extracurriculars... and they both got acceptances easily). Today? Colleges are packed, tuition is expensive and many majors are shutting the doors to transfer students (because they get so many applications and they don't even have enough seats for the 4 year students). It's not about just sending in your application. It's about having the best grades, with the best test scores, the right clubs, honors societies and other extracurricular activities. The kids in college and high school now work 10x harder than I had to (that was only 8 years ago) to get into university.
Those entry level jobs? I worked at a pizza place with a bunch of other teens/college aged kids 10 years ago. Now when I go in there? The people working the pizza place are in their 30's and 40's. Those jobs that use to be "younger people jobs", now are being competed for by individuals that have been displaced from their original area of work (In the city where I grew up the big businesses left to go overseas/outsourced... leaving a lot of people really desperate to find anything).
The military is letting go of people right now and the waits some of my friends have had to start basic is ridiculous. It's not the "fall back" way to shoot yourself into independence like it use to be.
Gas is closing in on $5 a gallon... a little bit less than minimum wage. In comparison... one hour of federal minimum wage would get you a gallon and a half of gasoline. When I fill up my car? It costs me about $50. That's almost an entire day of work at the federal minimum wage level. You're working an ENTIRE day just to fill up your gas tank. The transportation system too has taken a hit... The buses don't come as often, don't run as late and a 30 min drive in my car... takes almost 2 hours by bus.
Housing costs? Where I live right now it would be impossible to find a 2bd
I'm not saying that "making it" or gaining independence is impossible. I'm just saying that I feel like a lot of people are comparing their situations to OP's situation... and honestly I don't know how fair it is to do that considering some of differences between growing up in the 80's, 90's, early 00's and today.