So I asked my mother if she could co-sign on a loan with me today because she has great credit and because I just got an e-bill in the mail yesterday saying that I still owe the school $5,234 for my tuition and fees. It was a pretty big surprise and a setback for me because I thought that my two scholarships would covered it all.
Nope, I'm in the hole. But long story short my mother told me she will absolutely not co-sign on a student loan with me because it will garnish all her wages and she doesn't want to go into college debt for me. And I have no one else to ask in my family because my grandmother has bad credit and my father is not in my life to ask him.
I don't have a job and never had one before, so I'm just freaking out now on what should I do.
My mother has always been this way( she didn't even want to fill out the fafsa for me because she didn't want them having her SSN). I tried joining NROTC a year ago when I was still in HS so they can give me a really great scholarship, but my mother wouldn't allow that either. I couldn't even get a job because my mother had let my driver's permit expire so I wasn't able to obtain a car to get to work everyday, even though I had about 3 job offers at the time.
Now I'm afraid she's trying to take away my future of becoming a nurse as well. She even suggested for me to wait until I'm 24 when I can become independent to apply for the fafsa or just go get a bachelors in early education and wait to become a nurse. But I don't want to wait.
What should I do?
(I'm sorry for my long post and me renting as well).
I'm still struggling with how your tuition costs so much - were there not any cheaper options?
When I was in school and before I got married, it was not that my parents held out on me, but that they made too much for me to qualify for grants, and I refused to ask them to provide financial support because I'm the oldest of 4, so there are 3 kids AFTER me who will need to go to school too.
I started off in community college when I turned 18. I worked, saved, and transferred to university, then became a nurse. Along the way, yes, I got engaged, got married, and qualified as an independent student, but before that, I knocked out my prerequisites at a community college because that's what I could afford. I'm not sure where GSU is, but I presume that it's a university, which is MUCH more expensive. You can easily save yourself money by going to a community college first.
Please don't take this offensively or anything, but I think you need to go out and do your own thing. Your mom may just be overprotective in such a way that is actually preventing you from getting anywhere in life. I think you need to go out and do what you need to do for you. Once you start to do this your mother will realize you are a fully capable adult and will be proud of you- once she gets over the shock .
You do what you need to do because at the end of the day you'll only have yourself!
Congratulations on choosing such a noble profession! I love nursing. I suggest looking for a job as a banquet server at a hotel. The money is really good and it's fun. I still do this on the side. I would have to agree with most of the posts. Stop blaming your mom and make a plan to achieve one goal at a time. 1. Find a job. 2. Buy a used car. 3. Save up for school. 4. Take your prerequisites and then apply to nursing school.
You've been posting on a nursing site since you were 15 years old? Why?
You can renew your permit very easily by going back to the DDS. I never used my permit (I'm now just getting my license at 17- take the test tomorrow) through all 2 years and had to go back and renew it. You may need to retake the test if it is expired, but it is definitely not a big deal. You need your permit to get your license as well so you will need to renew it.
Check with your school about the scholarship and maybe there is a misunderstanding. You can't change your mom's mind or attitude so just accept it. The only way out is to take time out and get a job. Save your money and return to school. I am a child of immigrant parents. I was eligible for scholarships but they refused to fill out the forms because they would have to divulge their income. My dad worked in a factory, he did not make a good wage. My mom was a stay at home mom with 2 kids. So I worked and went to college at the same time. They did let me live at home 'for free' but all the school expenses were mine. It was difficult but I made it. If nursing is your dream, then don't give up. As for not filing out the FAFSA I don't know what the implications of not having your moms income and net worth would be. So find out. Good luck.
I would start researching requirements for nursing school and take those credits at a community college. It sounds like your mom is tough but you need to realize that you need to make the change. Find out if you can learn to drive in one of your friend's cars.
The job corp is a good suggestion. Plus if you get into a hospital, many will pay for you to get your RN in exchange for a commitment to work for X amount of years. My job will pay for my NP schooling if I work for them for 2 years,
I've got an idea get a job. our parents do not owe us an education , maybe she doesn't want to sign herself for a loan for someone who doesn't understand personal accountability.
go to a tech school where tuition is more affordable...most of all nursing is hard work
get used to it .
Yes...get a job off the job tree! Pick some jobbies!
Wow, surprised to see how many people think this situation is okay. I don't understand why people have children if they don't want to support them and help them be in a better situation than they had growing up. Also I learned in prior sociology classes that this way of thinking is common in lower socioeconomic classes....one reason why upward social mobility is harder. Just because something bad happened to us as children doesn't mean it was okay, and should be repeated.
We will have to disagree on this point. They are her siblings and her mom is a single mom trying to make ends meet and support them all. At least her mom is not sitting at home doing nothing but living off the government. I'm sure since the OP's dad has never been in the picture, she doesn't get child support from him. When I was a teenager, everyone babysat. We babysat our siblings during the week and then on the weekends babysat other people's kids for money. My first paying babysitting job was at 11. My parents were poor and both my mom and dad had to work to support us, so I babysat my siblings especially in the summer when we were out of school. My mom actually worked 2 jobs and my dad had his full time gig during the week and worked for his dad on the weekends. They had to. But, I never wanted for anything growing up and when I turned 16 I started paying for my own stuff. It was really not uncommon among me and my friends.
1) This response is very biased and shows a lack of critical thinking skills; there is no information about child support and to imply that people who receive government assistance don't work is very stereotypical and ignorant. (2) Being a parent IS A JOB; one that the OP's mom is pushing off on her. It is not the OP's responsibility to raise her siblings. Occasional babysitting is very different than being responsible for several younger children overnight consistently....as any parent knows. If people can't afford to raise their own children or provide proper guidance and supervision then DON'T HAVE THEM. (3) Parents are responsible for their children's upbringing which includes education. Being a parent means much more than simply providing financially and it doesn't stop when your child turns 18 (one reason why students are considered "dependents until 24). Also brains aren't even fully developed yet! The OP's mom is shirking her duties as a parent and taking advantage of her. I hope the powers that be give the OP the courage and resources to stand up to her mom and be in a position in the future to help out her younger siblings ....sounds like they will need it.
How do you owe a college $5k if you just graduated from high school a few weeks ago? And how did you give up on a college to stay home and watch your siblings if you just graduated?
Your story doesn't add up.....
It's a fee bill. They send you a statement detailing your tuition and fees minus any grants, scholarships, or loans that will be applied. You must pay or make arrangements acceptable to the school for the amount you still owe or they will not allow you to continue your enrollment.
Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
(3) Parents are responsible for their children's upbringing which includes education.
Not necessarily...many educated middle-class people believe that parents are responsible for funding their children's college educations. On the other hand, many parents from lower rungs of the economic ladder have a different worldview and do not view higher education in the same light as those in the professional middle class.
I've told my story multiple times on these forums...I am a first-generation college graduate, but had to travel through the School of Hard Knocks to get to that point. I was accepted to three universities during my senior year of high school, but my parents refused to provide their financial information for the FAFSA. They figured that since they got through life without college, that I didn't need a college education either.
My parents came of age in the 1970s when a young person could get a job right out of high school that could support a family. By the time I graduated high school in the late 1990s, those days of good entry-level jobs were gone forever. However, their old-school mindset still persisted in the face of an economic landscape that had changed forever.
Was I resentful and bitter for not being able to attend college at age 18 while my classmates were sent off to universities that summer? Heck yes. I remained sullen about the situation for many years. However, I now realize that higher education is not an entitlement, nor is it a rite of passage that every young person undergoes. I attended a high school in a working-class area where only 8 percent of all graduates went off to college. The rest either joined the military, entered the low-wage workforce, became housewives, or lived with their parents well into their 30s.
We all have personal values and beliefs, but they are not superior to those held by the middle-aged guy with limited education who thinks his teenaged son might be better served by an apprenticeship or military service than four years of college.
My father had no qualms about telling me that if I wanted to go to college I had better find a way to pay for it myself. I clearly remember while in elementary school, my mother coming home from a parent-teacher conference and making the comment that she told the teacher, who had made a strong statement about me needing to get an education, that my father said it was not necessary since I was only a girl and would get married anyway. That was his opinion. Until I won a full ride scholarship. Then he got all proud.
I tell my granddaughter about my father's attitude when she expounds on the fact that her mother and I have the responsibility to pay for her to go to college. I make sure to emphasize that if she wants things to change, maybe she should start working harder to get A's instead of just showing up for class.
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vickymarie
49 Posts
I'm still struggling with how your tuition costs so much - were there not any cheaper options?
When I was in school and before I got married, it was not that my parents held out on me, but that they made too much for me to qualify for grants, and I refused to ask them to provide financial support because I'm the oldest of 4, so there are 3 kids AFTER me who will need to go to school too.
I started off in community college when I turned 18. I worked, saved, and transferred to university, then became a nurse. Along the way, yes, I got engaged, got married, and qualified as an independent student, but before that, I knocked out my prerequisites at a community college because that's what I could afford. I'm not sure where GSU is, but I presume that it's a university, which is MUCH more expensive. You can easily save yourself money by going to a community college first.