Becoming a nurse is no longer an option for me?

[KAThftf]

So I asked my mother if she could co-sign on a loan with me today because she has great credit and because I just got an e-bill in the mail yesterday saying that I still owe the school $5,234 for my tuition and fees. It was a pretty big surprise and a setback for me because I thought that my two scholarships would covered it all.

Nope, I'm in the hole. But long story short my mother told me she will absolutely not co-sign on a student loan with me because it will garnish all her wages and she doesn't want to go into college debt for me. And I have no one else to ask in my family because my grandmother has bad credit and my father is not in my life to ask him.

I don't have a job and never had one before, so I'm just freaking out now on what should I do.

My mother has always been this way( she didn't even want to fill out the fafsa for me because she didn't want them having her SSN). I tried joining NROTC a year ago when I was still in HS so they can give me a really great scholarship, but my mother wouldn't allow that either. I couldn't even get a job because my mother had let my driver's permit expire so I wasn't able to obtain a car to get to work everyday, even though I had about 3 job offers at the time.

Now I'm afraid she's trying to take away my future of becoming a nurse as well. She even suggested for me to wait until I'm 24 when I can become independent to apply for the fafsa or just go get a bachelors in early education and wait to become a nurse. But I don't want to wait.

What should I do?

(I'm sorry for my long post and me renting as well).

[Conqueror+, BSN, RN]

Since the rule of thumb for educational costs is do not spend more on a program than you would earn in a year I feel that the LPN is still a good choice for some. I only spent about $1,000 back in 1994 BUT I lived at home and only had to pay for school, transportation, clothes etc...I had classmates that were young single mothers and it took a LOT to struggle through that year and their lives improved immediately after graduating and getting a job. They simply didn't have four years to work at McDonalds.

[HopefulRN4]

Her house , her rules, once you turn 18 you can do whatever you want, but you can't depend on her either. Good luck !

[Not_A_Hat_Person, RN]

"My house, my rules, and I don't have to support an adult" applies both ways. Once you turn 18, you will have no obligation to support your mother, including raising your siblings. If your mother needs a nanny, she should be willing to pay for one.

I've seen far too many families where the oldest girl is expected to be a junior parent, with all of the responsibility and none of the rights, simply because they are the oldest girl.

[QuietRiot]

Wow, surprised to see how many people think this situation is okay. I don't understand why people have children if they don't want to support them and help them be in a better situation than they had growing up. Also I learned in prior sociology classes that this way of thinking is common in lower socioeconomic classes....one reason why upward social mobility is harder. Just because something bad happened to us as children doesn't mean it was okay, and should be repeated.

It's definitely not ok! "Nobody helped me (even though I needed and wanted it), So now I won't help anyone else" Not only is this mindset rooted in bitterness it is also highly contradictory!

[QuietRiot]

As an LPN instructor I feel I need to put my 2 cents in! No 16,000 is not too much for a 12 month LPN program! It may not be for everyone, you can get an RN for less money, but it is a track that some people prefer. The difference is that we accept people with a high school diploma, who haven't taken any prerequisite classes. You are out of the program and able to work in 1 year. The local community college that students can attend has students routinely attending for 4 years to get an ASN. Often people cannot afford to save the money and get a cheaper RN by being a full time student for 4 years. the wage difference in this area is about 6 dollars an hour, so many of our grads bridge into the RN program where some of the prerecs are waived because of experience. They then spend about 2 1/2 years getting an RN (including LPN school) and earning above the median household income for our area while doing it! This is not the path I chose, but I did not have to support a family as quickly as possible. Our students are often overcoming significant personal barriers, working and going to nursing school. If people research, LPN school is more expensive for a couple of reasons, it is year around. Our students actually get a similar amount of instruction and clinical time in one year as the RN students in 2 years. We have a 8 hour a day program 5 days a week. No month off at Christmas or 3 months off for summer. Our tuition includes uniforms, books, insurance, state boards and license fees. So stop knocking the LPN!!! You don't want to pass meds at a nursing home do you?

I agree! Every path is not for everyone and for someone, the LPN route is the right choice. A few ADN programs in my area include the LPN within their RN program. This allow students to work and gain experience while completing their degree.

[Serhilda, ADN, RN]

It's completely reasonable to expect a parent to want a better life for their child then be surprised and hurt when they express otherwise like the OP's mother. It's also interesting how most of the people claiming the OP is entitled or not being accountable for her actions are speaking from experiences they gained in a much better economy with much cheaper tuition. Like the 39 year old here, perfect example. Nothing but hostility towards the OP without any desire to sympathize or understand her situation. The mother should be a mother and thus want to help her daughter if possible and if reasonable, not treat her as some stranger that's asking for a loan to be cosigned here.

Sorry to hear about your situation OP but just remember, most of the people posting in this thread are speaking from experiences they gained decades ago, haven't had the same struggles you're having, and aren't sympathizing with anyone else's situations either. Seems to be the typical attitude here, it's very unfortunate.

[ResearchRN25, BSN, RN]

Yes, I did do the fafsa and I only got 2,500 because my mom refused to fill it out.

And I just feel as though I should be entitled to a lot of things from my mom because I chose to stay home away from my attended college to watch her kids for her. And that was a huge sacrifice for me so I think she should at least show some support for me. I don't pay any bills and my mother did tell me if I do find a job that I wouldn't need to pay anything to live there, but I still feel like it's her fault why I don't have a job now so it's no point.

I know exactly what you're talking about. However you need to live your life for you.

REAPPLY to go away to school. That is an important experience if you can do it.

I'm surprised your school allowed you to obtain financial aid without your parents info. I tried that because I was living on my own paying all my bills and working full time and they wanted to use mine and my mothers income to determine my financial aid.

Is taking the bus not an option? I did that before I had a car. Worst case you're going to have to wait until 18 to get your license.

Your mom sound like she's doing more to hold you back that push you forward. She doesn't necessarily need to cosign on the loan but she could at least let you going ROTC if that's what you want.

I had a $5000 gap of tuition after I maxed my loans out and my parents would not cosign a private loan on me. I thankfully work for a hospital where they gave me tuition assistance so I was able to get that covered.

If you need any words of encouragement I'm always here to help you can message me.

To you vet nurses lighten up. She's young and just emerging into the real world. Don't judge. She has a ton of time to get on the right track.

[2k15NurseExtern4u, BSN, RN]

First of all, Your mother is SMART to not cosign on a student loan for you. NEVER EVER EVER COSIGN ON A LOAN FOR ANYONE, EVER. ESPECIALLY when your credit is good! I dont care WHO it is! Learn this lesson early in life and never make the mistake of loaning someone your credit.

[2k15NurseExtern4u, BSN, RN]

Second of all, You have to live your life for you. Dont allow your mother to hold you back because it's conveinent for her (with the kids situation). Go off to school. She's forced you to have to figure things out on her own so go live your life! College is an incredible experience. You learn who you are, network, make new friends. 18-24 is a huge transitory period in your life. You don't want to look back on this time and realize that you allowed yourself to be denied the learning experiences of this period in your life.