I have a question regarding comment my current boss made. I am currently a nursing student and graduate soon. I have worked as a nursing assistant and various other jobs on my unit for about a year and a half. My boss has already said I have an RN position with him/her on our unit after I graduate. He/She has promised me ICU experience within my first year, something I REALLY would like out of my new career since this is where I would like to focus (I know it is rare in most hospitals to work in the ICU without 1-2 years of RN experience). Anyways, I was working with my boss the other day and he/she asked if I already had children or if I was planning on having them in the future. After I told him/her my husband and I would like to have a family he/she made the comment "You know if I let you work for me I am going to need you to give me a full year before you get pregnant"- he/she then smiled and looked at me and asked "You promise me that you won't, right?" I was blown away at his/her request and replied "I'll think about it."
I know that RN bosses are probably annoyed when they get new nurses hired who then quickly become pregnant, take family leave, reduce hours, etc. I would have no problem with this, say, five years ago, even two years ago. But I will be past 31 years old by the time I graduate. Before this conversation with my boss my husband and I had been talking about trying to get pregnant within the next few months. Now I don't know what to do because my boss is not the real forgiving, accepting type- from previous experience of seeing him/her deal with issues with other RNs, I know I would pay for this decision some how- he/she is vengeful. So I guess I need advice on the best way to deal with this situation. I cannot go to HR because you have to explain the situation which would then be explained to him/her and he/she would know I was the one who said something. Thank in advance who your any advice you can offer.
Wow. Just wow. They would not have said that to you if you were male. Sexism at its finest. I am blown away. It's not women's fault that they happen to be the ones who become temporarily unable to work after having a baby. That's how our species moves forward! And to anyone who says crap about the 12 week interruption in learning in the first year or two to take time out for a baby, my answer to you is how else is it supposed to be done?? Babies come when they come!
And to anyone who says crap about the 12 week interruption in learning in the first year or two to take time out for a baby, my answer to you is how else is it supposed to be done?? Babies come when they come!
First, to reiterate, this manager is wrong and should be punished, though it would be difficult.
Now. . .
What??
Babies come when they come? Not unless you are stuck in an arranged marriage in outer Somalia!! I'm proud to say we have reproductive choices that are amenable to most persuasions except some of the most staunch Catholics.
Those of us who said crap about "12 week interruption" pointed out not that we thought it was a good idea, or fair to our unit, or wrong to the manager (**** him/her, don't give a flying flute about management). Just that others in similar situations found it difficult. Woman is asking for advice here, should we withhold from her the experiences we have witnessed or stand back shaking our heads "Geesh, look at her struggle, bet she didn't see that coming?".
I do see the dilemma, 31 isn't young for ovaries but they would have been younger 2 years ago when she started nursing school, would have been better to get pregnant then right?
12 weeks... Excuse my ignorance but do you only take off 12 weeks after giving birth in the states? If so, holy cow! I am amazed by this.
I can't believe that taking 12 weeks off would be enough to set back someone's career. More likely that trying to work (even part time) with a 12 week old would mess you up.
For what it's worth, I don't think my year off as a newish nurse harmed my career in any way.
12 weeks... Excuse my ignorance but do you only take off 12 weeks after giving birth in the states? If so holy cow! I am amazed by this. I can't believe that taking 12 weeks off would be enough to set back someone's career. More likely that trying to work (even part time) with a 12 week old would mess you up. For what it's worth, I don't think my year off as a newish nurse harmed my career in any way.[/quote']
12 weeks... Excuse my ignorance but do you only take off 12 weeks after giving birth in the states? If so holy cow! I am amazed by this. I can't believe that taking 12 weeks off would be enough to set back someone's career. More likely that trying to work (even part time) with a 12 week old would mess you up. For what it's worth, I don't think my year off as a newish nurse harmed my career in any way.[/quote']
It's disgusting and shameful IMO, but that's only if you work for a larger employer and have for at least 6 months. I've seen new moms have to return after 4 weeks to keep their jobs.
Still know what newish nurses say about how hard it is to "get it" if their first couple of years encompasses a maternity leave. Maybe nursing school in other countries is better at preparing one for hospital work than in the US.
I would schedule an immediate chat with the head of HR. That is outrageous.
Nope, I would certainly shut my mouth & claim "oops" later. This is your business & not theirs. Only you get to choose your priorities. What means more to you, baby vs 1st year experience? Which choice would you regret most in 20 years or so?
Specializes in Pharmaceutical Research, Operating Room.
WOW what a complete a** - I'm not sure when employers started to think that they were entitled to dictate the terms of their employees' lives???? I'll also be 31 when I graduate this semester, and my fiance and I have talked about having children, if we're going to, relatively soon after I get out of school. While the promise of a job as a new grad is wonderful, I believe that it's absolutely no one's business to tell you how to live your life/when to plan major life events, and that would sour the offer for me. Jobs come and go, but family, and children, are forever......
Still know what newish nurses say about how hard it is to "get it" if their first couple of years encompasses a maternity leave. Maybe nursing school in other countries is better at preparing one for hospital work than in the US.
Wow, 4 weeks is not enough time to even allow your body to heal, let alone bond with your baby and hit your stride as a parent. We get 6 weeks -medical- leave after childbirth in my province where we are topped up to full salary, and then the rest of the year you are on EI. It isn't great money, and some people do choose to return early for whatever reasons, but you are entitled to have your job held for 1 year.
I don't know how American schooling compares to ours really, but your point about preparation gets me thinking. I noticed on another thread that orientation times and programs seem to be much longer and more organized in the states. Like people talking about a 6 month preceptorship post graduation. Everywhere I have worked has had "buddy shifts" for new employees. My first job on a surgical ward was 1 classroom day and then 3 days 2 evenings and 1 night shadowing whatever RN happened to be on. My orientation to subsequent jobs has been very similar, with more or less classroom time
Ok, so not to get this thread too far off track, but seriously, this manager needs his or her head checked, especially if OP would only be entitled to 4-12 weeks off O.o
Thank you all so much for our advice. I appreciate the support and honesty from everyone. I should have mentioned that I plan on signing on not as a full-time or part-time employee, but PRN- we get great benefits through my husbands career. I wonder if this has any impact on the situation since I do not believe I will eligible for FMLA. I can see how I should go to HR, but at the same time if he/she realized it was me from hearing the details, then I am out a job. Again, I really, really appreciate EVERYONE'S advice and will take all comments to heart over the next few months while I try to figure this out.
Umm new nurse and PRN? All of our PRN nurses are experienced and as a new grad you want as much experience as you can get. PRN by choice right out of the gate is a bad way to go. You want a formal full time residency.
While I understand the boss was out of line, what's wrong with waiting one year to get pregnant? 31 vs 32 isn't a big difference.
with corporate/business short staffing, I understand the boss' attitude; even if voicing it was illegal. but I would think putting off child bearing 6 mnths wouldn't be a bad thing. Unlikely to get preg. first try, and even if you did you would only be 5-6 months at the one year mark. compromise is the name of the game. no where is it said they we can have everything we want, especially exactly when we want.
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ArtClassRN, ADN, RN
630 Posts
No they don't. And if they do, they shouldn't. This happens all the time, repeatedly.
Your ovaries are your own darn beeswax.