I have a question regarding comment my current boss made. I am currently a nursing student and graduate soon. I have worked as a nursing assistant and various other jobs on my unit for about a year and a half. My boss has already said I have an RN position with him/her on our unit after I graduate. He/She has promised me ICU experience within my first year, something I REALLY would like out of my new career since this is where I would like to focus (I know it is rare in most hospitals to work in the ICU without 1-2 years of RN experience). Anyways, I was working with my boss the other day and he/she asked if I already had children or if I was planning on having them in the future. After I told him/her my husband and I would like to have a family he/she made the comment "You know if I let you work for me I am going to need you to give me a full year before you get pregnant"- he/she then smiled and looked at me and asked "You promise me that you won't, right?" I was blown away at his/her request and replied "I'll think about it."
I know that RN bosses are probably annoyed when they get new nurses hired who then quickly become pregnant, take family leave, reduce hours, etc. I would have no problem with this, say, five years ago, even two years ago. But I will be past 31 years old by the time I graduate. Before this conversation with my boss my husband and I had been talking about trying to get pregnant within the next few months. Now I don't know what to do because my boss is not the real forgiving, accepting type- from previous experience of seeing him/her deal with issues with other RNs, I know I would pay for this decision some how- he/she is vengeful. So I guess I need advice on the best way to deal with this situation. I cannot go to HR because you have to explain the situation which would then be explained to him/her and he/she would know I was the one who said something. Thank in advance who your any advice you can offer.
I can't believe she even brought that up.....to the best of my knowledge it is illegal to even hint that your reproductive choices would affect your job. I would stay where you are if you choose, have a baby if you choose, and deal with her later if there is an issue.
Run don't walk from this employer right now OP. There is no happiness to be had there. If someone is so manipulative as to lure you with promises that they might or might not make good on, who is vindictive enough to make your life difficult if you displease them and who has the brass neck to have such an inappropriate and illegal conversation with you, you do not want to work with them, let alone have them hold the power over your future in their hand. Please look for other opportunities.
Firstly It is nobody's business when you get pregnant and you certainly cannot discriminate but when a male member of staff took 12 weeks fMLA after the birth of his baby-I was taken back a little.
Some countries that is normal. Mom.takes first leave and dad second. Mostly European countries do it.
Wow, 4 weeks is not enough time to even allow your body to heal, let alone bond with your baby and hit your stride as a parent. We get 6 weeks -medical- leave after childbirth in my province where we are topped up to full salary, and then the rest of the year you are on EI. It isn't great money, and some people do choose to return early for whatever reasons, but you are entitled to have your job held for 1 year.
I don't know how American schooling compares to ours really, but your point about preparation gets me thinking. I noticed on another thread that orientation times and programs seem to be much longer and more organized in the states. Like people talking about a 6 month preceptorship post graduation. Everywhere I have worked has had "buddy shifts" for new employees. My first job on a surgical ward was 1 classroom day and then 3 days 2 evenings and 1 night shadowing whatever RN happened to be on. My orientation to subsequent jobs has been very similar, with more or less classroom time
Ok, so not to get this thread too far off track, but seriously, this manager needs his or her head checked, especially if OP would only be entitled to 4-12 weeks off O.o
You must be in Canada. The US does not provide for for citizens as much as Canada.
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
Firstly It is nobody's business when you get pregnant and you certainly cannot discriminate but when a male member of staff took 12 weeks fMLA after the birth of his baby-I was taken back a little.
I think it's wonderful that he took the time off to be with his wife and new baby. I'm sure she appreciated the help.
Firstly It is nobody's business when you get pregnant and you certainly cannot discriminate but when a male member of staff took 12 weeks fMLA after the birth of his baby-I was taken back a little.
Seriously?? I think it's great that he was able to get the FMLA to do this. I think it's sexist to think that Dad's don't deserve to take time off. Dad needs time to bond just as much as Mom. Not to mention Dad can be a HUGE help to Mom during her recovery.
To the OP. Your boss has no control over your body. If you want to have a kid go for it. I saw the comment about what's the difference between 31 and 32.. Sometimes a lot. As you age it does become harder to have children and puts you and your child at higher risk of complications. You have that baby when YOU want. If you wait to have children when things in life are perfect you will NEVER have them. There is always something that could delay things. You just find a way to make things work. I wish you the best of luck with this.
Seriously?? I think it's great that he was able to get the FMLA to do this. I think it's sexist to think that Dad's don't deserve to take time off. Dad needs time to bond just as much as Mom. Not to mention Dad can be a HUGE help to Mom during her recovery.
To the OP. Your boss has no control over your body. If you want to have a kid go for it. I saw the comment about what's the difference between 31 and 32.. Sometimes a lot. As you age it does become harder to have children and puts you and your child at higher risk of complications. You have that baby when YOU want. If you wait to have children when things in life are perfect you will NEVER have them. There is always something that could delay things. You just find a way to make things work. I wish you the best of luck with this.
In canada we get a yesar maternity leave to than be split between both parents.So Mom could take 6 months and then Dad can take 6 months.
Sorry to your (possible) future boss, but no woman in her 20s/30s can promise that she won't get pregnant. Not only is that a rude thing to say, but it's also pretty stupid.
That being said, I agree with PPs who said it might be in your best interest to wait a year or so to have a baby. Either way, it's totally up to you. What do you think your regret more? Not taking that ICU job or postponing the decision to start a family?
Don't forget, you have decades still to advance your career. And if your boss is a jerk, working in the ICU might not be worth it.
mama.RN
167 Posts
I can't believe she even brought that up.....to the best of my knowledge it is illegal to even hint that your reproductive choices would affect your job. I would stay where you are if you choose, have a baby if you choose, and deal with her later if there is an issue.