Another Thread for Gas-Passers

Nurses General Nursing

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This thread is about the real thing.........you know, gassssssss. Intestinal, that is. Flatulence. Flatus. Fluffing. OK, farting. And what I want to know is, WHY in God's earth does it hit you so hard in middle age?!

Here's the issue. Up until about six months ago, I never had a problem with gas. Sure, I suppose I produced the usual amount during sleep, when one has little control over such things.......I certainly didn't do it during waking hours, except, of course, for belching whenever I drank soda pop too fast. Now, however, I can barely go a day without having to take Gas-X to remain socially acceptable. I mean, this stuff is EVIL.......not only is it noisy, but sometimes there's a toxic cloud that causes the eyes to weep and the family to hightail it out of the house before it chokes them.

It's SO difficult to remain a lady with this daily battle going on between my intestines and my sense of propriety. When I complained to my DH about it, he simply said, "Welcome to middle age!" Thanks a lot, Mister Eight-Years-Older! Of course, he's been rather, uh, boisterous since HIS mid-40s too, but being a man, he's somewhat insulated from the social opprobrium that I would face if I were to trumpet as raucously (and as frequently) as my innards call for.

So, what the hell is going on? Is it just aging? Is it due to overweight, nerves, a bad diet, or all the Diet Coke I drink? To be honest, I do consume a large amount of the stuff, but all it ever made me do in the past was burp, and while that's not very nice, it's not the end of the world. This, on the other hand, is not only embarrassing, but it's become amazingly difficult to control.........at any moment you can hear my poor outraged insides groaning and gurgling, and you don't even need a stethoscope! Some days it's not bad at all, but other days I live in fear of some of these odoriferous emanations escaping, and sometimes I just have to duck into an empty room (at work) or run for the bathroom (at home) and let 'er rip.

Please, somebody, help me before I have to buy stock in the Gas-X company or completely alienate everyone I live and work with!:imbar Thank you!!

Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: That's totally wild ahsweeny. :roll I love it. Did you feel your face getting red or hot?:D

Fran

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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

Oh! And by the way mj, mine are all going veeeerrrrry STRONG! PHEW!:rolleyes:

Fran

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

Yep, I'm beginning to think some of my problem IS the Diet Coke. I was fine all day......didn't take a swig of the stuff until 3 PM, and then I plowed through a 20-ouncer and had started on another one when I felt the all-too-familiar rumbling and grumbling of an impending gas attack. Sure enough, the little tooters were jockeying for position as they headed toward the path of least resistance, and I barely made it to the bathroom in time before the geese began to fly out of my orifice!

Luckily, I was able to get rid of the attack fairly swiftly this time, but I'm thinking I may need to experiment with leaving the soda alone for a day or two to see if that makes a difference. God only knows how I'm going to do it, I'm so addicted to the stuff, but I can't go through life fearing every minute that I'm going to rip one either. :imbar

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I hardly ever drink Diet Coke (or diet anything--unless it's Splenda'd but that's not often).

But then, this could be a multifactorial issue.

Hate to lose the source of so much mirth!

What are "queefs"?

We had LBH (loud but harmless) and SBD (silent but deadly) when we were kids too--now I must have an equal opportunity colon.... All are pretty lethal.

And about Rosie the cat? I think you're REALLY bad when it sends the dog away from you! My doberman likes to lie between my legs so his head is on my belly and he's looking up at me (from whence all food comes), and the other night within milliseconds he was up and off the bed.

Not a very good sign.....

:eek:

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Originally posted by ahsweeney

Oh, my word, I have been sitting here just laughing my head off!! What a hoot - or toot!!! I was going to suggest backing off on the diet Coke and drinking more water, but someone beat me to it.

When I was in nursing school, I was working as a tech on a med-surg floor. We had a little lady in who was confused as all get out and who was impacted probably up to her eyeballs. Well, I went in to total her I&O's and snuck out a fart. Just about made my eyes water, but I figured I was safe. Darned, but didn't the nurse walk in just then and get all excited about the patient finally passing gas!!! I didn't have the nerve to correct her. I just let her believe what she wanted!!!

I remember being told a story about a nurse who needed to "cut one" ran down the hall to the empty supply room and let it rip. unfortunately, she was in too big a hurry and had walked into the pt room next to it. wonder what the two little men occupying the room thought.... :chuckle

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Specializes in ER, ICU, L&D, OR.

I remeber a few years ago. I brought some very hot chili to work, home made fro the ER and of course the OR nurses came down for some also. Well couple of hours later we had a pt come in with a knife wound to yhe abdomen. We sent him off to surgery and the surgeon came in and explored everything. He was ready to close when he smelled some more methane and had to run the bowel a couple more times looking for more damage, when it really was one of the nurses who didnt own up to it. That nurse never did admit to it.

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Specializes in Med-Surge, PACU, now Hospice.

Hey, not to change the direction of this wonderful post, but what about animal farts???

We grew up with an airedale terrier who adored my mother. She was suffering from lower back pain and would lie on the floor after dinner, listen to the news and do her exercises. The dog would lie on the floor with her, usually near her head. Key point here, my mother does NOT have "bathroom humor". My dad and I will fall out over body noises or stupid jokes - not mom! Well, she was doing her sit-ups when the dog "cut one" just as mom was rising up. She sputtered and fell back on the floor choking. I was laughing so hard I had to leave the room before she started swatting me. The poor dog was banished to the back yard for a while! I'll be 90 and still laughing over that!!!

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
Originally posted by chris_at_lucas

What are "queefs"?

And about Rosie the cat? I think you're REALLY bad when it sends the dog away from you! My doberman likes to lie between my legs so his head is on my belly and he's looking up at me (from whence all food comes), and the other night within milliseconds he was up and off the bed.

Not a very good sign.....

:eek:

Uh, Chris....you don't know what "queefs" are? That's the younger generation's term for........well......the ones that, um, sorta sneak out the FRONT :imbar

Speaking of animals, here's another funny tale from my young-married days. Bill and I were living at my sister's house at the time, and we slept out on the enclosed patio, which even in Southern California was pretty chilly in the winter. Well, we all were really poor, and we'd been eating my brother-in-law's chili for about three days, with the predictable results. One night, I woke up and realized that our four cats, who usually slept under the covers because it was so cold, were all sitting on top of the bedspread, shivering. So I stuffed 'em under the blankets, only to be puzzled when they emerged with their eyes all squinched up. I repeated the process a couple of times, with the same results. Then DH ripped a big one at the same time that I lifted the blankets, and out wafted the rankest odor I'd ever smelled up to that time! No wonder the poor cats didn't want to stay under the covers! Three-day-old chili farts have to be some of the worst ever.......:eek:

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Specializes in ICU's,TELE,MED- SURG.

I am not laughing and I am very concerned for you. Something is not right and if I had this problem, I would be at my Dr.'s office, quickly.

I just lost an Aunt to Crohn's disease. This disease snuck up on her with this being the very first symptom and she was painfully embarrassed about it.

I urge you to listen to me and do not think this is a middle aged thing. I'm just shy of 45 y/o with clear skin, no abdominal problems and no diabetes or hypertension. I have no skin wrinkles and nothing is sagging. I should exercise but I don't. I love my diet coke and I don't get any of your symptoms.

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

LadyNASDAQ, I see by your profile that you're only 3 days younger than I am:) I'm glad you're not sagging and bagging the way I am......of course, nobody but me thinks that, but *I* know the truth!

I'm intrigued by your post. I've had intestinal thunder and lightning for many years thanks to my brief stint as a bulimic way back in the late '70s (irritable bowel syndrome w/diarrhea), but had never had issues with gas until a few months ago. I have an appointment with my doctor next Monday, and I will definitely be bringing this to his attention, as it is not only embarrassing, but uncomfortable what with all the bloating and cramping that goes along with it.

Thank you for your perspective......I honestly hadn't thought it could be anything really serious. I'm sorry about your aunt....how old was she when she developed Crohn's? And how did she die from it? I've taken care of many people with Crohn's or ulcerative colitis, and I've never seen any of them die, unless it was from complications (steroids knocked out their immune systems and they came down w/ an opportunistic infection, or a massive GI bleed got them etc.).

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This is about the funniest thread I've come across in a long time!

:roll :rotfl: Thank you for making me laugh! Oh, and yes, I have all of the above as well! :rotfl:

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This thread is too funny! Hitting middle age is certainly a challenge. I thought I was getting old when my own snoring woke me up not long ago, however when my FARTING got to be so loud that it woke me from a dead sleep, I KNEW I was getting old.:rolleyes: Oh,well, it's supposed to beat the alternative.

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