Am I the only one who finds this disrespectful?

justavolunteer · Oct 29, 2006

I 'm not a nurse, I'm 'justavolunteer', but I understand why some comments are made and why nurses need to vent. I see some of the grief that nurses get from pts. Sometimes it's welfare pts. who think that anything they want should be paid for the taxpayers. I would never think of being discourteous to a pt. (In fact the volunteer dept has told me they get regular comments on my courtesy to all.)

I once heard enough of a discussion between a pt & a discharge planner to know the person was on state aid. She was throwing a royal fit because the hospital wouldn't provide her a massage therapist at taxpayer expense. It would be a miracle if things like that DIDN'T draw comments!

LydiaNN · Oct 29, 2006

I don't think they are disrespectful, and I enjoy the threads. These are my favorite threads when we all get together to blow off steam.
For example, tonight I had a woman inform me that she was allergic to water, and would need ginger ale to drink instead, and by the way, could I put a couple cubes of ice in it?

Did you remind her what ice is made of, lol????

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Oct 29, 2006

It still really bothers me, and makes me wonder if these people who are so contemptuous are really able to mask their feelings very well.

Assuming that they are contemptuous that is.

(sigh)

IF i was like that around a pt. or even at work, THEN it would be a problem.

Apparently venting in a humorous way in one's offtime isn't acceptable to some.

cardsRN · Oct 29, 2006

it's a J.O.K.E. you know, like funny? i love the venting threads, myself- just reading them helps me blow off steam.

SmilingBluEyes · Oct 29, 2006

There is truly a delicate balance between being totally and completely crass and being sanctimonious. And we are all more than intelligent and adept enough to know and respect the difference, are we not? The thread is not that horribly harmful, albeit not MY "topic du jour". But we do need to vent sometimes......as long as we refrain from getting too specific regarding given patients or cases, or insulting one another, we will be just fine here.

Thanks for your concerns, Klone~

grandee3 · Oct 29, 2006

I don't know what I would do if I could not vent or have a laugh with coworkers about something harmless that may have taken place at work.

Years ago, I worked EMS in New Orleans. We were dispatched to an auto accident on the interstate. When we arrived, my partner jumped out while I notified dispatch of our arrival and grabbed the crash box. At the scene was an overturned VW Beetle. As I got closer I could see what appeared to be a woman's head next to the driver's door. At this point I had never seen a decap. I took a deep breath. When I got next to it, I realized it was a wig and the woman was standing about 6ft away with a stocking on her head. Next to her was my partner, about 3 state police and bystanders. I took the embrassment away from the woman that night and it was ok with me, however, the cops and my partner never let me live that one down.

bbcewalters, NP · Oct 29, 2006

:rolleyes: As someone who is a nurse, but not L&D, I am torn by all of this. I am prego and there have been several times that I have said to myself I am NOT going to go the the hospital early, just to be sent home, because I do not want to be "that patient". Mostly this is because I am a nurse and I think I should know myself better (HA this is so NOT true with Pregnancy)

HOWEVER,

I can appreciate the need for these nurses to vent the things that they encounter on an everyday occurance that I am SOOOOO glad I don't see where I work.

At one time I really wanted to work OB because I think it is amazing and wonderful to be a part of the whole process, but I would not be able to deal with the scary truth that many people in this world should not be allowed to procreate.......

just my 2 cents:twocents:

Tweety, BSN, RN · Oct 29, 2006

Assuming that they are contemptuous that is.
(sigh)
IF i was like that around a pt. or even at work, THEN it would be a problem.
Apparently venting in a humorous way in one's offtime isn't acceptable to some.

it's a J.O.K.E. you know, like funny? i love the venting threads, myself- just reading them helps me blow off steam.

Sometimes it goes beyond venting to just making fun of, degrading them, insinuating that they are stupid, dirty and nasty. Know what I mean?

It's not that the patient hears them, or the care is compromised in any way, but I cringe when I walk in to the break room and the nurses are talking about a patient "he is so nasty", "he's such a drunk, he did it to himself", etc. etc. Dehumanizing the patient, laughing at them, is a bit more than just "venting". Some of these patients are quite easy to take care of and sometmies even nice. Or sometimes they aren't very bright, but not everyone has a college degree or the same mindset as we do. Laughing at another patients for our own enjoyment doesn't quite set well with me.

This is what I'm talking about, and perhaps the OP.

Venting that a patient is working your last nerve or draining you emotionally is different. Maybe slightly, but different.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Oct 29, 2006

right now there are two threads (one which was closed) devoted to "things you should know before coming into our department" and the tone of the thread is thinly-veiled contempt at ignorant, uneducated or silly things patients or patients' families say or do. i've been hanging around this board for a couple years, and these threads are a regularly occurring thing.
i haven't said anything in these threads, instead i just close the thread and move on. but whenever i read them, i can't help but feel how disrespectful these threads seem. i understand people are "blowing off steam" and all that, but i don't know. it still really bothers me, and makes me wonder if these people who are so contemptuous are really able to mask their feelings very well.
these threads often get so big, which makes me wonder if maybe i'm alone in thinking that it's inappropriate and disrespectful to mock the patients we see, even if it is behind their backs.

no, you're not the only one -- as evidenced by the frequent posts in these threads calling the venters mean, nasty, burnt-out, etc. however, if you truly cannot understand the need for nurses to vent after a particularly bad shift or to cope with the crap using humor, you are absolutely right to just close the thread and move on. sometimes, the only way not to be disrespectful to the patient is to blow off steam elsewhere, and this board is a relatively safe place to do so. but there's nothing worse than pouring your heart out in a long vent, only to have someone down-thread quote you, calling you a terrible nurse, a worse individual and advising you to quit nursing if you feel this way. if these threads bother you, please, don't read them and don't feel compelled to post telling everyone on the threads how little you think of them.

closing the thread and moving on seems to be a good strategy for you, and i commend you for using it.

Mrs.S · Oct 29, 2006

No, you are not alone. We all blow off steam and lord knows I have vented on this board but so often these posts drift into pure contempt filled with stereotypes and out and out lies. Also, judging from the interaction I've had with the patient population often targeted in those threads, the principals are not nearly as good as hiding their dislike as they think. I have had patients who would rather suffer than be treated like dirt just because they are poor/uninsured/on Medicaid. Being poor in this society has become akin to a character flaw in our society and I see this attitude reflected in a lot of these threads.

I agree

Dalzac, LPN, LVN, RN · Oct 29, 2006

I have to share something. I graduated from PN school in 1979. I was so deadly serious about nursing and never ever vented about anything about nursing. And every night I went home and drank a bottle of wine to "relax"

I ended up with a severe case of alchoholism and/or being an addict. And I got burned out. I cleaned up and quit taking everything so serious, it was killing me. That was 1986.

Venting saved me and laughing at crap that was so absurd, you had to laugh. So remember, eventually you have to let it go, or quit nursing. Nurses have a life or death job. the sadness and the grief and the pain you see with your pts. and their families is always there and you have to deal with it but you have to have a release of somekind or another, like screaming or talking about it with other nurses who understand or forget it with alchohol and drugs which I do not recommend.

33-weeker · Oct 29, 2006

the op is entitled to her opinion. perhaps she could have been kinder, but perhaps we do need to tone it down a bit. perhaps we do need to be careful not to cross the line when we are venting.

for the record... in nursery, we must know the patient's insurance to choose the correct pku/nbs slip and fill it out. private ins. and 'self pay' get 'paid' slips, and medicaids get 'charity'. if we choose the wrong one, the hospital does not get reimbursed. this is why we are more aware of insurance issues in ob, i suppose.

i cared for a patient last night who was a g9 p7 - a drop-in with limited prenatal care at a clinic. she was to the point of tears telling the interpreter that she didn''t want any more babies and wanted her tubes tied. it would have been a perfect oportunity since she was having her first c-sec due to breech (baby got tangled in cord), but the on-call doc couldn't do it. he was afraid, since she'd had care in the clinic, that she must have medicaid but was telling us she didn't to try and persuade him to sterilize her. this woman wasn't just being slick and trying to put one over on us, she was weary and just plain desperate.

apparently medicaid patients must sign a form 30 days in advance or medicaid won't pay the hospital bill. this is to prevent sterilization being forced on them. he said if he sterilized her anyway, medicaid would refuse the entire hospital bill. the system is really broken. i realize that these women need to be protected from forced sterilization (at least the law abiding ones anyway - established druggies & child torturers are a different story), but there has got to be a better way to do it.

i felt so bad for this poor woman. she came by ambulance with no support person. she didn't speak a word of english and was just trusting us to take care of her. she was stoic and appreciative of our care. regardless of my intense feelings about the illegal imigration problem in texas, my heart went out to her as a person. it must have been scary for her to have her first c-section like that. i made it a point to take her baby around the drape and let her see her and kiss her. i told her in my broken spanish that it was a girl, and that her baby was ok.

as much as i vent about charity patients, it is their attitude that bothers me much more than the circumstances of their insurance coverage. the medicaid patients who are rude and have this attitude that the world 'owes' them do their fellow medicaid recipients a great disservice.