Am I the only one who finds this disrespectful?

[klone]

Right now there are two threads (one which was closed) devoted to "things you should know before coming into our department" and the tone of the thread is thinly-veiled contempt at ignorant, uneducated or silly things patients or patients' families say or do. I've been hanging around this board for a couple years, and these threads are a regularly occurring thing.

I haven't said anything in these threads, instead I just close the thread and move on. But whenever I read them, I can't help but feel how disrespectful these threads seem. I understand people are "blowing off steam" and all that, but I don't know. It still really bothers me, and makes me wonder if these people who are so contemptuous are really able to mask their feelings very well.

These threads often get SO big, which makes me wonder if maybe I'm alone in thinking that it's inappropriate and disrespectful to mock the patients we see, even if it is behind their backs.

[justavolunteer]

Some posters have wondered what outsiders think about nurses' gripes in various places here. (I could be considered an ousider because I'm 'justavolunteer'.) The nurses I know mostly care very deeply about their pts. However, it can be EXTREMELY frustrating to deal with someone who cusses out everyone in range and complains about every little thing. Ditto for pts who refuse every test ordered, won't allow anyone to draw blood, then complain about how sick they are. (If you didn't want to be checked out, why bother to be admitted.) The whole 'customer service' trend at hospitals seems to give some people a license to be as mean as can be.

I have known people in retail & restaurents who have plenty to say about some of their less desirable patrons. There are good & bad people everywhere. There will always be some who are the bane of the people who must provide service to them.

[rn/writer, RN]

I don't think a majority of us spend a whole lot of our time talk rudely about our patients behind their backs. I know I try not to---and try not to be unfairly or overly judgemental. BUT I am human and to vent is human, not divine. I just try very hard to remember why I became an OB nurse in the first place. It really does help temper my tendency to let certain people and situations get to me.

And I find it kind of sad that we cant', as nurses, seem allow others to vent without taking it personally, here. I can't imagine anyone here who has spent any real amount of time doing this, has not run into situations that make them want to scream. Venting in an appropriate place and at a proper time is ok. As long as the care rendered is professional and compassionate, letting off steam, IMO is quite healthy. Who else BUT other nurses would possibly understand where we are coming from here? Let's try doing that here, if we can----let's nurse ourselves and one another.

:yeahthat:

If this isn't the appropriate place to vent, I don't know what would be. Spouses and significant others often care but don't understand (unless they, too, are in health care, in which case you'd have DOUBLE venting. Oh my!). And we don't want to wear them out. Venting on the job can be done in tiny amounts--just enough to help us keep our sanity for the rest of the shift, but you have to be extremely careful not to be overheard. Our kids don't need to hear the kind of slop we sometimes have to put up with. And friends, even the ones who are also nurses, have their own load to carry.

That's what's nice about being able to come to a board like this one. There are so many things you don't have to explain. They're already understood.

If someone seems continually stressed to the breaking point, it might be appropriate for some of her cyber-buddies to gently ask if she needs to find a position that isn't so toxic. Or if a poster sounds truly hateful and capable of giving her patients substandard care, that might be another time to make some inquiries.

But the garden variety vents that focus on rude patient behavior and our frustration at having to deal with people who each think they are our only patient for that shift, I say, vent away. No need for anyone else to judge. No need for US to add to another's load.

As Deb said, this is a place where we should be able to let our hair down and give and get some of that nurturing nurses are famous for.

Let's be good to each other.

[nursejohio, ASN, RN]

I'ts nice to read that you have the patients best interest at heart now that someones called you on it. Seems a little fishy to me.

I have the best interests of all my patients at heart, every single day. On a critical care floor (which is where she was), I don't have the luxury of spending 3 hours making a futile effort to get a doc to release a patient for a shopping trip, along with all the other red tape it would have taken. Who would have been taking care of my other patients while I played concierge? When you get out of school, you'll learn that you can't do it all... even if you wanted to.

Oh, and fyi... she was single, with 2 grown children. No going to the store to feed her family who couldn't survive on her TPN