Am I the only one to feel this way?

Nurses General Nursing

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I saw one of my former contemporaries from the nursing home where I used to work as an aide at the grocery store today. She happens to be a BSN now and assistant DON of a nursing home. She is also very beautiful (something I have never been in my wildest dreams). So she was strolling down the isles with her child (from her adoring husband, he used to dote on her when we worked in the nursing home) in the buggy. There I was, 100 pounds overweight, dressed in frumpy clothes I have worn all week, my own 3 yr old daughter with nappy hair and a dirty face I had with a loser (who also happens to be a creep who I hardly ever got a kind word from) and my claim to fame is a pathetic LPN diploma. Just seeing her tonight has made me so depressed I can't even concentrate on my studies (studying to be a "diploma" RN....whoopie do *twirling finger in the air* :stone ) and struggling as hard as I can to keep my head above water in what I am taking...I feel like such a loser and so depressed I want to cry :crying2:

Have any of you ever been in the situation I'm in? I'd like to feel I'm not alone. :o

with a self-defeatist attitude like that, you're right, nothing's going to change.

ditto. "woe is me" will not get you very far. I think your are looking for the shallow-MTV-culture-lifestyle as your route to the holy-grail. My guess is you wouldn't be happy if you were 100 lbs lighter and beautiful. Self defeating thoughts are powerful.

This advise comes from someone who was in a horrible car accident and spent 3 months in the hospital, six months in a wheelchair, and covered from head to toe with scars... I spent a couple of years comparing myself to people who were beautiful and un-scared. One day I decided I would no longer accept those thoughts... so I don't.

At some point you have to accept what you have and move on... (and change what you don't like) in my case, I decided to become a nurse. Thought I try the other side of the bed for a while.

Good luck... the fact that you are working for a higher degree is a sign that you are on the right road. Try to avoid the pot holes: "self defeating thoughts."

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Majority of the people have a choice in how they want to feel...or what they want to be.

It's all in your mind...and it's all in your body. Change your mind and your body will change. Change your body and your mind will change. Take a drug for "mental" problems and there will be physiological changes. Take a drug for physical reasons and there will be psychological changes. Are you catching on now? No charge. :crying2: or :)

Straight from Archie Bunker!

People who have truly suffered from depression can't just "get over it" or "get a grip"! It's like Vietnam, if you weren't there you couldn't have known what it was really like.

People who suffer from depression know what I mean when I say it's all I can do to muster up the energy to do just the bare minimum ADLs. Days when I'm so drained I couldn't even muster energy to brush my hair. When I stare at the same sentence while studying for 10 minutes and I couldn't tell you what I am reading. The advice to "just do it" is well-meaning, but people who (almost flippantly, it seems) tell those who say they are depressed to "join a health club" or "get a new hair style" only add insult to injury and border on the point of annoying.

Sure, there are days that aren't so bad, days when I even feel like going for a morning walk, when I feel refreshed. But don't tell me it's a matter of just getting over it and your mindset. Depression is a mental disorder and is as debilitating if not more so than any other mental illness.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

My best advice now?

Pay attention to the information that helps you...that uplifts you, and dump the rest. In the end, it IS up to you, after all. Find what works and go for it. You have received a lot of good advice here, all of it well-meaning. Take what you can use and lose the rest! TRY to focus on those here trying to help you. As you can see, a lot of people care about you and your situation. Hang in there and just do the best you can. It's all any of us can do.

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Straight from Archie Bunker!

No, straight from some of the best psych teachers around...Western and Eastern...including some of the original mind/body practitioners-shamans.

People who have truly suffered from depression can't just "get over it" or "get a grip"! It's like Vietnam, if you weren't there you couldn't have known what it was really like.

You were born after Nam but since you want to use that conflict as a comparison why did some soldiers enjoy the high excitement while others are emotional cripples to this day. By the way. I've spent more time in an Army hospital than Kerry with his three purple hearts!!

People who suffer from depression know what I mean when I say it's all I can do to muster up the energy to do just the bare minimum ADLs. Days when I'm so drained I couldn't even muster energy to brush my hair. When I stare at the same sentence while studying for 10 minutes and I couldn't tell you what I am reading. The advice to "just do it" is well-meaning, but people who (almost flippantly, it seems) tell those who say they are depressed to "join a health club" or "get a new hair style" only add insult to injury and border on the point of annoying.

I would not be chatting with you if I had never been in your spot. At one time I was counting out my pills to do myself in.

Sure, there are days that aren't so bad, days when I even feel like going for a morning walk, when I feel refreshed. But don't tell me it's a matter of just getting over it and your mindset. Depression is a mental disorder and is as debilitating if not more so than any other mental illness.

I don't think most people here are being flippant when they tell you to go exercise or get a new hairstyle. Exercise increases endorphins and you know what that does. Now, you're seeing a therapist and felt the need to reach out to us. As one poster said, take what you need, discard the rest. You can now discuss our comments with your therapist.

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Specializes in Psych, Med/Surg, Home Health, Oncology.

Hi

First off Big Hugs to You!!!

Then, why not look at the positive instead of the negative?You don't know what her life is like! You don't live in her shoes.

You are an LPN & going to Nursing school-- you have made it thru that. There are many people out there who wish they were LPN's but are not.

What's wrong with a diploma school??You take the same test as a BSN nurse. I have been a diploma nurse for 38 yrs. I find nothing wrong with that.

Iamcertified in Oncology for 12 yrs. Iwaseven a Head Nurse for a time. I gave it up--not the other way around.

So be a diploma nurse & then you can go back to school again if you want the BSN.

Remember--you will appreciate your accomplishments more if you work for them. I know I do.

Then you have a child--many of us never could have them, even tho we might have wanted them.

I want to just shake you and say look at all you have--but I know that won't help you-- you need to get some professional help for your depression.Once you get a bit of help with the depression, you can start on body image with weight loss and fixing up.

I hope you get some help.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

Zen is right, LadyMadonna. NO one here means flippancy or to be hard on you. But it HAS to start from within. It's never easy, retooling our lives. I have been there, like I said. It's a journey no one can take for you. Really, a good therapist is worth his/her weight in gold. If you have not found that person, keep trying. It has made ALLLLL the difference in mine. It's a tough battle, but in the end,what on EARTH do you have to lose? The depression, that is what.

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Zen is right, LadyMadonna. NO one here means flippancy or to be hard on you. But it HAS to start from within. It's never easy, retooling our lives. I have been there, like I said. It's a journey no one can take for you. Really, a good therapist is worth his/her weight in gold. If you have not found that person, keep trying. It has made ALLLLL the difference in mine. It's a tough battle, but in the end,what on EARTH do you have to lose? The depression, that is what.

No, Zen is not right. Zen is Archie Bunker reincarnated. I've tried all that spiritual holistic reiki yoga organic tofu pyramid hat business and was none the better for it.

Even the shrink I am going to see now realizes people who are depressed don't choose to be!

Wait, maybe it is a good thing...I've got to go. I'm too angry at Zen right now to be depressed, I don't want to lose it.

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i have also met people that are depressed that CHOOSE to remain that way, stuck in the poor-me attitutde.

frankly, i'm getting a bit tired of all the positive advice you are getting here with your response being 'but but but but'....you area making one excuse after another.

you ARE in control of what you do or how you choose to deal with it.

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Specializes in ER, ICU, L&D, OR.
i have also met people that are depressed that CHOOSE to remain that way, stuck in the poor-me attitutde.

frankly, i'm getting a bit tired of all the positive advice you are getting here with your response being 'but but but but'....you area making one excuse after another.

take charge of your damn life.

you ARE in control of what you do or how you choose to deal with it.

truly, it aggravates me to no end to listen to these 'life sucks then you die' types.

if it's THAT bad, you need inpt.psychiatric treatment.

but don't go belittling any and all advice you have received here.

:(

Personally, I think Life is Golf then you die.

And psychologists are better anyway, at least they talk to you and help you with your problems. Psychiatrists nowadays just want to drug you up.

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LadyMadonna,

I hope you don't think I was being flip when I said join a gym, change your hair...believe it or not, change is VERY difficult-especially when you are suffering from depression. (which I have). I was not trying to be flip at all. I was trying to give you some ideas to help YOU feel better about YOU. I paid good money to get the same ideas from my therapist!! At the time, I was so mad at her for the mere suggestion of doing those superficial things that I quit going to see her. Once I realized she was really just trying to show me that change is something you are always a part of, either actively or passively, I went for it AND I called her to apologize.

For the record, I suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I have a very difficult time with change and with dating relationships. I still have days where I don't want to get out of bed and feel like crap about myself. I don't fight them, I just take those days in stride and move on. I refuse to make myself a victim to my illness. It's an illness but it isn't defining adjective about me and who I am. That was my point.

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Personally, I think Life is Golf then you die.

well tom, if life is golf, then i WANT to die.

(we always seem to get these threads off track. stop it.)

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hum... being new to nursing... just wondering if I have mental illness and major depression to look foward to in my future. There seems to be a lot of drug taking and shrink seeing going on...

I've gone to the driving range a few times... 50 yards is about my average... should I seek counceling?

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