Am I the only one to feel this way?

LadyMadonna · Sep 27, 2004

I agree!!! As my ex mom-in-law said, Take the sh** or get off the toilet. (Meaning, either just deal with it, or make changes!!) You have gotten some really great advice, lots of encouragement and kindness, some tough words but not cruel ones....

Well, at least I can bet my bottom dollar you and earle58 are not mental health nurses. :uhoh3:

frann · Sep 27, 2004

I've felt the same way many times. Nothing is ever perfect. appearances can be decieving. Things may look perfect on the outside, but people rarely see whats inside. believe me I know. Enough of me.

On another note, I have a childhood friend back home. Here's her story.

1st marriage-married rich guy-father was rich. had kids with him, turns out he is an irresponsible bum. divorce.

2nd marriage meets nice guy professional with very good business. he's perfect no kids to bring into marriage-he's a widow. he kills himself a few weeks shy of there 1st anniversary.kids became attatched to him and all. It was devistating to them.

Some of the best nurses I know are LPN's. :balloons:

LadyMadonna · Sep 27, 2004

I've felt the same way many times. Nothing is ever perfect. appearances can be decieving. Things may look perfect on the outside, but people rarely see whats inside. believe me I know. Enough of me.
On another note, I have a childhood friend back home. Here's her story.
1st marriage-married rich guy-father was rich. had kids with him, turns out he is an irresponsible bum. divorce.
2nd marriage meets nice guy professional with very good business. he's perfect no kids to bring into marriage-he's a widow. he kills himself a few weeks shy of there 1st anniversary.kids became attatched to him and all. It was devistating to them.
Some of the best nurses I know are LPN's. :balloons:

According to many of our posters here, I'll bet if he had just gotten a grip on himself and stopped with this woe is me act he would have been fine by now...

jailside · Sep 27, 2004

DESIDERATA

GO PLACIDLY AMID THE NOISE AND HASTE, & REMEMBER WHAT PEACE

THERE MAY BE IN SILENCE, AS FAR AS POSSIBLE WITHOUT SURRENDER

BE ON GOOD TERMS WITH ALL PERSONS, SPEAK YOUR TRUTH QUIETLY &

CLEARLY, AND LISTEN TO OTHERS, EVEN THE DULL AND IGNORANT; THEY

TOO HAVE THEIR STORY

AVOID LOUD & AGGRESIVE PERSONS, THEY ARE VEXATIONS TO THE

SPIRIT, IF YOU COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS, YOU MAY BECOME

VANE & BITTER; FOR ALWAYS THERE WILL BE A GREATER & LESSER

PERSONS THAN YOURSELF, ENJOY YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS AS WELL AS

YOUR PLANS

KEEP INTERESTED IN YOUR CAREER, HOWEVER HUMBLE; IT IS A

REAL POSSESSION IN THE CHANGING FORTUNES OF TIME. EXCERCISE

CAUTION IN YOUR BUSINESS AFFAIRS; FOR THE WORLD IS FULL OF

TRICKERY, BUT LET THIS NOT BLIND YOU TO WHAT VIRTUE THERE IS;

MANY PERSONS STRIVE FOR HIGH IDEALS; AND EVERYWHERE LIFE IS

FULL OF HEROISM.

BE YOURSELF. ESPECIALLY DO NOT FEIGN AFFECTION. NEITHER BE

CYNICAL ABOUT LOVE; FOR IN THE FACE OF ALL ARIDITY &

DISENCHANTMENT IT IS PERENNIAL AS THE GRASS

TAKE KINDLY THE COUNCIL OF THE YEARS, GRACEFULLY

SERRENDERING THE THINGS OF YOUTH. NURTURE STRENGTH OF SPIRIT

TO SHIELD YOU IN SUDDEN MISFORTUNE. BUT DO NOT DISTRESS

YOURSELF WITH IMAGININGS. MANY FEARS ARE BORN OF FATIGUE AND

LONELINESS, BEYOND A WHOLESOME DISCIPLINE, BE GENTLE WITH

YOURSELF.

YOU ARE A CHILD OF THE UNIVERSE, NO LESS THAN THE TREES & THE

STARS, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE HERE. AND WHETHER OR NOT IT IS

CLEAR TO YOU, NO DOUBT THE UNIVERSE IS UNFOLDING AS IT SHOULD.

THEREFORE, BE AT PEACE WITH GOD, WHATEVER YOU CONCIEVE HIM TO

BE, AND WHATEVER YOUR LABOURS & ASPIRATIONS, IN THE NOISEY

CONFUSION OF LIFE KEEP PEACE WITH YOUR SOUL.

WITH ALL ITS SHAM AND DRUDGERY & BROCKEN DREAMS, IT IS STILL A

BEAUTIFUL WORLD. BE CAREFUL, STIVE TO BE HAPPY

AUTHOR MAX EHRMANN

This has helped me so many times in my life in so many different circumstances. And that is my truth.

Editorial Team / Admin · Sep 27, 2004

I can only speak for myself: I posted to a down-in-the-dumps OP, and did it with all good intentions, no bashing even entered my mind; answered in a vacuum, if you will. I had no idea of your past struggles. My feeling as I've read all the replies? You're right, Lady, no one else is living your life, therefore none of us can possibly answer exactly what you need to hear, that which will help you. Most of those posting (some of whom I feel I know, from 2yr on this BB) wanted to help. Some shared past experiences and friends' experiences, to let you know they speak from past hurts, that they weren't just being flippant with replies. As another poster said, take what may help you, and leave the rest; again, I feel they meant well. I truly wish you well, hope your therapist is helping (and if s/he isn't, I hope you find another who will), and look forward to seeing you continue to post.

zenman · Sep 27, 2004

No, Zen is not right. Zen is Archie Bunker reincarnated. I've tried all that spiritual holistic reiki yoga organic tofu pyramid hat business and was none the better for it.

Who said anything about all that?

Even the shrink I am going to see now realizes people who are depressed don't choose to be!

The key word here is "sometimes." Most people make choices. Now, even someone with severe mood disturbances can make choices to improve their lives. Sounds like you are doing that.

Wait, maybe it is a good thing...I've got to go. I'm too angry at Zen right now to be depressed, I don't want to lose it.

Very good. Now talk with your therapist about how I "made" you angry.

zenman · Sep 27, 2004

Thank you for your attention.
Yes, there is confusion on understanding depression. When people tell other people to 'go get a haircut' or 'exercise and get those endorphins flowing' rather than give appropriate advice, you darn right I'll call it like I see it, no apologies.

While these "suggestions" may seem flippant at first, they are very "appropriate" and well founded in empirical research. They just would not be offered in a flippant manner. However, on a board such as this, all you can do is offer suggestions on what has worked for you or the clients you see. A therapist will not, or should not, offer advice, for example "you should leave that sorry husband of yours." However, if a client is so depressed that they can't come up with any options, it is appropriate to guide the person into selecting some options that they might can do. If they can't do that, let them know what other people in the same condition have done and se if any of those options might be appealing. If they can't even do that, "telling" them what to do might be appropriate, such as "I want you to walk at least twice a day."

zenman · Sep 27, 2004

Mr. Zen, if he truly feels that way about depressed people, could have NEVER suffered from true depression, and to throw that new age world's best philosophers etc. bit just steeled my wool.
Thanks for the best wishes.

I don't remember telling you how I "feel" about depressed people. I could though, but I could also tell you what I "think" about depressed people. I mentioned shamans because they were the world's first mind-body specialists and many psychiatrists and psychologists are studying with them...as I have and will continue to do so. It seems people who are close to nature have much greater insights on human conditions than those who live on concrete. I also said that I have studied with great teachers, meaning not only Hawaiian and American Indian shamans, but western psychologists. Yes, I've been so depressed and under a dark cloud that I saw no way out. I've been on antidepressants. I definitely do not fall into the New Ager category, although I have been around a few!

totallytheresa · Sep 27, 2004

You know what, we are all trying to be helpful to you here, show you support, offer some advice and encouragement. That's it! You really shouldn't be picking us apart- you're not our patient and we're not at work so obviously we're not regarding you as such. We're supposedly peers here.

Well, at least I can bet my bottom dollar you and earle58 are not mental health nurses.

leslie :-D · Sep 27, 2004

According to many of our posters here, I'll bet if he had just gotten a grip on himself and stopped with this woe is me act he would have been fine by now...

maybe not fine, but better.

obviously there is a continuum of depression; from mild to crippling.

in mild to mod depression you can and should be able to have some control over your feelings and actions.

i don't know the depth of your depression as it seems to be masked by much resentment and anger.

i can be compassionate as well as a hard asss.

but from the range of suggestions you've received here, it exasperates me to no end that unless we stroke your hair and say 'you poor baby', then all input is worthless.

but even mod to severely depressed people can intellectually understand that a different perspective of a given situation can make a world of difference.

it would not appear that your therapy and/or antidepressants are working (yet?)

i don't know what you expected when you came to this bb but i do hope you can take your major and pervasive anger and rechannel it constructively.

and lastly, it is presumptuous and very short-sighted for you to preach to some, that we don't understand depression, just because we said things you didn't want to hear.

i do hope you do something positive for yourself, rather than focus on what you don't have.

wishing you peace.

leslie

ldkrn · Sep 27, 2004

You know what? I've been feeling kind of bummed out lately, too, especially since meeting an old friend from high school who is also a nurse and who now seemingly has the kind of job and life I could only dream about...I've been feeling bad about my life choices (and I've made some bad ones, folks), but then I got watching about the hurricane in Haiti. Fifteen hundred people dead, starvation and disease, dead animals everywhere...my life is a holiday. We're all very, very lucky to be in the positions we're in and have a lot to be proud of. (Besides, who knows, that perfect person's husband may be cheating on her, she may hate that perfect job, and may drink too much. Nothing, really, is ever as it seems, and all we can do is focus on ourselves!!!)

Godswill · Sep 27, 2004

i just want to say hugs, i know how you feel, i know how you can be so depressed you just stay in bed and sleep and sleep. i hope you finds the peace you need. I am not in your shoes so i am not going to judge you are tell you just get up and move, it ain't that easy for everyone. I am a person who has suffered with OCD never been offically told , the LSW i went see seem to thing i have but that i have OCD but that it is trigged by crises. anyway every one kept saying stop washing your hand, why a you afraid of going out side etc, well in my mind i needed to do these things. so you know what. you do what you have to do to stay a float. Yes i know going talk to some one helps, yes it did help me. but it won't cure you,( its a day by day thing) because you already know what's wrong with you, when i went talk to my counselor, she was like wow, you already know what wrong with you. she said i should try meds after i had my dd for the OCD, i have not been on meds and i am doing ok. I realize only certain things or situations trigger an episodes ex.my dad cheating, my parents divorce and my death of my son. I am sure you were making it as best you could then BAM you see her and it just brings you down and you feel like you hanging on my a string. I totally feel you. I am one of those person who can (i know it sound strange to some), that can pray myself to feel better are talk my self into not washing my hand, and with habit of saying it over and over again, i feel i can contol it. Now that i am school, i have wondered if i should try doing meds, because nursing school seem like something you can't control, no way i can get a episode of OCD and function, only good thing is that you wash your hands frequently already. Hugs and good luck:)