Alternative to spanking

[HeartsOpenWide]

I had very lax parents myself. I can remember being spanked once in my entire life. I got grounded a few times once I reached high school and for good reasons, but other than that I didn't really receive discipline much from my parents. My husbands family on the other hand is in favor of spanking; at one point I though I was too but am now against it...but still have to stifle laughs when I hear a parent say, "use your words" to a kid throwing a tantrum; maybe because I am yet to see this work.

I am in Community Nursing this semester. The placement I am at has a brochure on why you should not spank. The brochure was very informative on why you should not spank but it lacked any information on alternative ways to correct behavior/discipline. I chose not to had this out because I felt the information was not complete. Not being a parent yet myself, I did not feel equip to give alternatives if asked once the brochure was read and the client found that no alternatives were included.

Suggestions would be appreciated.

[lamazeteacher]

Here is ONE state...

Washington

Physical discipline is not unlawful if reasonable and moderate and inflicted by parent /teacher/guardian for restraint or correction. Presumed unreasonable if the following are used to correct/ restrain: -- Throwing, kicking, burning, cutting, striking with a closed fist, shaking a child under 3, interfering with breathing, threatening with a deadly weapon, any other act likely to cause and which does cause bodily harm greater than transient pain or minor temporary marks. [statute says this list is illustrative and not exclusive]. Age, size,condition of child, and location of injury are all factors in determining "reasonable" and "moderate." 9A.16.100. [Criminal Code]

HERE is a listing of ALL states...

State by State Spanking Laws

.

"Oh, I trust them. I just do so knowing I am going to get the shaft. :)

I like to hope for the best but prepare for the worst"

The above quote is from one of your posts, Stanley. What you posted contradicts your belief that only states that passed laws allowing (?) reasonable spanking, were correct in doing so.

I guess trust hinges on support of your views. e.g. Well, if they believe in what I think, they must be trustworthy, as I am. If you view disagreement as "going to battle", then it's no wonder we have so many wars, as military decision makers are undoubtedly of your ilk.

It does concern me, that your expressed anger is so close to your skin, when you work in psych and Alzheimers' units. Hopefully you have a way to drain some of it off, before going/marching to work. I don't consider you as an enemy, just misinformed.

Politicians by nature are attention seeking, devious scum mongers (with the exception of Barack Obama, of course). They pass laws which must be obeyed; and 1:10 of them were abused children, according to the British and American researchers I brought to the fray, here. They are academicians whose lives are devoted to studying human behavior and its results.

[Baloney Amputation, BSN, LPN, RN]

If you mean well by your thread, then look up autoimmune diseases. If you doubt that spanking raises stress levels, just look at childrens' reactions to that abuse. If the words I used aren't those you understand, look them up in the dictionary.

It would be interesting to see a study done on the incidence of autoimmune diseases among spanked/abused adults, and those who were not physically disciplined as children.

I'm ignoring the condescending statement.

Consider this, for an example--my brother and I weren't physically abused. My dad won't talk much about his childhood because it was not good. We almost all have autoimmune-origin diseases--Dad with RA, bro with type 1 diabetes, and I have severe persistent asthma, allergies, and eczema. My mother, however, had it really rotten as a child, like many people can't imagine. No autoimmune diseases. Is it just a little bit possible there is a GENETIC link there, not a "we got spanked" link?

I said what the H because your tangent is a really out there tangent, not because your language is so above me. :chuckle

Remember, I'm on the same "I hate spanking" team.

[DA314]

To the guy who makes his daughter do exercises as punishment... While that is a better approach than hitting, I do wonder how it will effect her down the road.

In her mind running = punnishment. So will she continue to exercise when she's grown?

[lamazeteacher]

as much as i hate wading through cumbersome laws to find something worthwhile, i do appreciate consistency. when looking up the resource stanley provided on all states' laws regarding spanking, it appears to me that inconsistency and poor grammar, as well as leaving decisions egarding spanking, to the judges in courts, to determine "reasonable", appropriate age, multiplicity, and maming. cause is not encountered.

fla proclaims that practically anyone can strike any child; ga states, "physical forms of discipline may be used as long as there is no physical (result?).......

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i took kids from parents for no good reason," amy pagnozzi -- new york post, february 4, 1991

spanking laws

state by state - united states statutes as they pertaining to spanking and child abuse.

select your state

alabamakentuckynorthdakota

alaskalouisiana

ohioarizonamaine

oklahomaarkansasmarylandoregon

californiamassachusettspennsylvania

coloradomichiganrhode islandconnecticutminnesotasouth

carolinadelawaremississippisouth dakotadistrict of columbiamissouritennesseefloridamontanatexas

georgianebraskautahhawaiinevada

vermontidahonew hampshirevirginiaillinoisnew jersey

washingtonindiananew mexicowest virginiaiowanew yorkwisconsinkansasnorth carolinawyoming

warning: the existence of these laws should not be considered to be a defense for actually spanking a child in any state in the united states. family courts have been known to ignore the law. exercising your rights may be costly and time consuming and you could still lose your case, even though you are in the right.

• rod rules
  
• discipline at school (ncacps)
  
• spanking laws
  
• should spanking be banned?
  
• ca: spanking mad
  
• tx: pro-paddling bill sails through house

[ECKPowers]

I am sure I could find a study that would support spanking also. People also used to believe the world was flat. In Missouri there's a law about African American's not being allowed in city limits after dark. Spouting study's doesn't show being right one way or the other. Look up Stanley Milgram's study about human behavior. People are Sheep. And in my opinion, once someone hops on the bandwagon with everyone else they tend to think like drones.

Spanking is not abuse. It's a deterrent. Not every occasion calls for a spanking. But some instances call for shock value and a bit of pain.

Also, asking children how they feel about spanking is ALWAYS going to be one sided. That's like asking Eric Menendez about solitary confinement?! Of course he's going to hate it. He's being punished. When was spanked as a child of course I would tell someone how bad I felt about it, I was IN TROUBLE!?!!? My gosh! That scenario is ridiculous!

The law allows for spanking for a reason. Because it's effective. This entire liberal " hug a tree " " don't spank children " " love them through their punishment and nurture them" stuff is why our prison's are full. I am not my child's friend. I am his parent. I love him, I encourage him, I laugh with him, I learn with him, I teach him and I correct him.

For the record: I do NOT " hit " my child. I spank. There is a huge difference and to insinuate otherwise is calling a parent a child abuser!!

There is healthy fear: I fear what would happen to me if I killed someone. I would be punished. I fear what would happen if I were to burn down my house for insurance money, I would be punished. Whether it's punishment by society, the legal system or by a parent; the outcome goal is to curb negative behavior.

I also believe in the death penalty. :) Kill someone " we kill you back"! (Ron White)

[Atheos]

"Oh, I trust them. I just do so knowing I am going to get the shaft. :)

I like to hope for the best but prepare for the worst"

The above quote is from one of your posts, Stanley. What you posted contradicts your belief that only states that passed laws allowing (?) reasonable spanking, were correct in doing so.

I guess trust hinges on support of your views. e.g. Well, if they believe in what I think, they must be trustworthy, as I am. If you view disagreement as "going to battle", then it's no wonder we have so many wars, as military decision makers are undoubtedly of your ilk.

It does concern me, that your expressed anger is so close to your skin, when you work in psych and Alzheimers' units. Hopefully you have a way to drain some of it off, before going/marching to work. I don't consider you as an enemy, just misinformed.

Politicians by nature are attention seeking, devious scum mongers (with the exception of Barack Obama, of course). They pass laws which must be obeyed; and 1:10 of them were abused children, according to the British and American researchers I brought to the fray, here. They are academicians whose lives are devoted to studying human behavior and its results.

Now tell me, Stanley, with whom would you like to do battle? :icon_roll

If you are going to use a quote, how about using it in the proper context.

The quote you mention is in regards to people NOT being trustworthy. People that I would prospectively get in relationships with.

The reason those states do not define spanking as abuse is because it's not abuse. It is only relatively recently and from a small minority that this idea of spanking=abuse is even getting attention.

If you think 'spanking,' and I mean spanking, not slapping, hitting or beating half to death, is abuse then it's painfully obvious that you have never been abused and have no idea what abuse is.

Thankfully, the fringe of society and their beliefs tend to stay on the fringe and not become mainstream.

Conversations are exchanging of ideas. Debates are battles and require winners and losers. Entering into a debate WITHOUT that mindset is the reason you are losing this one. Battle, struggle, war, jihad and other words of this kind do NOT only refer to physical violence.

Spanking is not abused. I was abused. I was called fat and stupid and ugly by my mother. I was hit, I had glasses and plates thrown at my head. I grew up with a mother that was a mixture of Kathy Bates (Misery) and Mommie Dearest. It was so bad EVERYONE left, my father, myself then my brother. Left so fast that we didn't even care about who got left behind.

The spankings I received were not abuse. ROFL... It is really kind of funny. I know what you are tryign to get at but there is a DIFFERENCE ebtween a spanking for discipline and a beating. I HAVE had both. The difference is that my father never spanked me when he was angry and never got out of hand. After awhile he started spankign less and sometimes eh jsut let me THINK I was going to get spanked but then would talk to me. My mother would give me beatings, not spankings.

If you don't understand the difference I suggest you find a volunteer to give you a spankign and then a beating so that you understand the difference.

[sirI, MSN, APRN, NP]

Gentle reminder:

Please debate the topic, not the poster. Some responses are getting too personal and derailing the thread.

Thank you.

[leslie :-D]

the following link is in SUPPORT of spanking.

surprisingly, very well written and informative.

kinda makes me want to spank someone.:chuckle

Spare the Rod?

New Research Challenges Spanking Critics

http://faculty.biola.edu/paulp/spare_the_rod.htm

leslie

[Virgo_RN, BSN, RN]

The law allows for spanking for a reason. Because it's effective. This entire liberal " hug a tree " " don't spank children " " love them through their punishment and nurture them" stuff is why our prison's are full.

Really? So you think the reason people steal, rape, and murder is because they weren't spanked as children?

[leslie :-D]

Really? So you think the reason people steal, rape, and murder is because they weren't spanked as children?

well...

on the other end of the spectrum, are those parents who truly let their kids poop all over them.

that's never good either.

just as spanking does not always correlate with abuse, not spanking doesn't always mean doormat.

moderation, folks.

leslie

[Virgo_RN, BSN, RN]

...or you assume that the prisons are overflowing with people who steal, rape, and murder? That's another subject altogether, though.

[SmilingBluEyes]

Moderation is key.

But it's easy to lose it when you get physical. That is why I choose not to. And I don't think my kids will grow up to be out of control or criminals due to a lack of corporal punishment. Believe me, no one walks all over me in my home, especially my children. And I am no tree hugger, just someone who wants to exercise the "alternative"......after all, there are alternatives, as the title of the thread suggests. Not ABSOLUTES.

Leslie said it; moderation, folks.