advice on what to do or say to a friend from church

[nurse~in~the~making]

Hello all. Well, i went to a baby shower today and i sat next to this nice sister/friend. I was asking her for some advice regarding financial aid since she works in the nursing building at the school i want to go. She gave me some good advice for the financial aid, but as soon as she mentioned the nursing program, she told me not everyone stays in it since its so difficult. Then she advice me to think about it before enrolling since 'you have a family, and you wont have enough time to study, think about it because if your not ready, your putting youraelf into failure'. I told her i had heard it was hard but i was still in doubt if going for an lvn or an adn first. She suggeated for me to enter the lvn program because it wasnt that hard, And again she just told me to think about it and that it was my decision. I really like this lady but i feel like she is trying to say iam not a good element for nursing. What can i say to her that wont sound rude. She is a lady on her late fortues and iam 22 year old. I dont want to sound like mean and dusrespectful, but i wouldnt like for her to keep on making those comments.

Thank you all. Sorry its a little long.

[NICU Guy, BSN, RN]

Nursing school consumes a lot of your time between classes, labs, studying, and clinicals there is little time for family. You have to accept that school is your number one priority and handle the guilt of not spending the amount of time with your husband and children that you would like to.

[Libby1987]

I'm afraid I would precaution anyone before taking out student loans for a taxing program in a poor job market for new grads. I'd throw in to really consider the job prospects that will realistically be available to a new grad with an ADN.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

Thank you all for the responses. The thing is that i had only askwd her about the financial aid part. She already knew i was persuing a nursing degree since before this semester started.

Since the beginning when i had mentioned i was persuing the ADN route she started making those type of comments, my husband was even present the first time, and later that night he said he thought the sister was trying to say i was dumb. This is the reason i oonly asked her about the financial aid part today.

I will follow the advice everyone has giving mme. Thinking about it, it is the most rational. Sorry about typos iam using my phone.

I'll second the advice about learning to express yourself well in written English. Think of this forum as practice for the papers you will write. Practice good grammar, spelling and punctuation -- soon it will become second nature and it will make your classwork just that much easier. Typing on your phone is not really a good excuse for poor written communication.

As far as what you say to the lady from church? "Thank you for the advice, ma'm. I will certainly think about it." Chances are she was not trying to insult you -- it's easy enough to insult someone without intending to. I always give folks the benefit of the doubt. It makes me nicer to them if I operate under the principle that they're just poor communicators rather than that they're trying to make me feel bad.

Now if it's my sister on the other hand . . .

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

I just needed some advice on how to take this. I really like this lady, and i wouldnt like to lose the friendahip i have with her.

You can still personally like and respect this individual without being friends with her.

Honestly, I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who attempted to steer me away from an educational program because they subconsciously believed I wasn't bright enough for it.

[Mavrick, BSN, RN]

Agree with previous. Nod, smile, say Thank you for the financial aid advice.

If she's not in the nursing program or ever been a nurse then what does she know about nursing stuff? She's just a church lady trying to be nice, not a career guidance counselor.

She's right that it is your decision. Gather your information from people that know what they are talking about, schools you are interested in, real nurses you come in contact with, people like Commuter who have been in both programs, etc.

[NurseGirl525, ASN, RN]

I'm confused. Is she a friend, a church lady, a nun, or somebody that's apart of a nursing program? You are young, with a family. Why are you pursuing nursing? Are you a person that thinks nursing is going to make your life easier because you will be making a lot of money? Have you researched the job market in your area? I don't think she was at all telling you that you were too dumb. Unless you use the grammar you used in your post. I'm partially kidding there. You say it's typos, which I believe some are and some are not. I still reread all of my posts before posting in here and if I see something hugely sticking out, I fix it. Everybody will have a typo or two, that darn autocorrect gets me from time to time. You should though be constantly proofreading.

Why would your friendship with someone be ruined for not taking their advice? I think you are being a little sensitive. Get over that before nursing school.

Look, you are young. You will grow and change over the years as a person. It is going to be hard with a family. It just is. I'm a single mom with lots of support and it's hard. I have mom guilt all of the time. I miss my child. He's nine. So he's a little more independent. But today was a race against time to get everything done before he got home from his dads. I didn't get it all done, and I felt bad I shooed him to his xbox. There are days when I wonder if I can do it until May. I have an excellent support system and things still get screwed up. There are a tons of threads on this subject. I'm so tired right now. My past week has been crazy.

It's up to you. But you asked this woman for some answers and you didn't like what she told you. That's fine, just go about your business. My friends never take my advice. Heck, neither does my kid. That's life.

[Nienna Celebrindal]

Oh ffs. Studying for LVN is just as much work as studying for your RN. I really have minute patience for these arrogant ignorant people who think LVNs are stupid.

That said yes it's a lot of studying. You should be prepared and have a plan for how to create enough time to study.

I would advise skipping the lvn. Hurts me to say that but it's my honest opinion having done both.

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

Oh ffs. Studying for LVN is just as much work as studying for your RN. I really have minute patience for these arrogant ignorant people who think LVNs are stupid.

Especially those who never went through an actual program...

I have gone through a PN and BSN program-the PN program required me to undertake a forty-hour workweek and in addition to studying after class, clinical preparation and the like; my BSN program required clinical preparation and studying as well; both were work intensive and required my time, but the PN program was a lot of information presented in the shortest amount of time.

OP, you have been given sound advice; I'd like to add that you research your market and have an endgame before applying to an ADN program when you live in an area where a BSN will open more doors-research by calling area HRs, shadowing nurses and talking to reputable programs in your area; also find out what programs have better NCLEX rates and accreditation (ACEN and CCNE-Google this) before undertaking ANY nursing program.

[BuckyBadgerRN, ASN, RN]

She's not wrong. Nursing school is HARD. I don't think she's setting you up for failure, I think she's being realistic with you. Listen to her.

[quiltynurse56, LPN, LVN]

Smile, nod and say thank you.

Now nursing school is difficult whichever level you pursue. It seems to me like you have thought this through and will be pursuing nursing. Let your husband know you will be needing to study a lot and will need his support and help with the children and house. Many young women go through nursing school with families and make it. Also, communication is key with your family.

Go for it and let us know how things go for you.

[pmabraham, BSN, RN]

Keeping in mind the friend did not question intelligence, and just asked the potential nursing student to ASSESS (hmm, assessment) the situation, I don't think it was wrong for the person to provoke some thinking. Nursing school is extremely hard; and does require a lot of sacrifice and discipline. It

[MilieuRN]

She may not have meant any offense. Loans really are a huge concern, and Nursing School actually DOES take up your free time (and often cuts into your beauty sleep) These days, my weekends consist of studying. All. The. Time. I dream about electrolytes and liver enzymes. I dream about patients scenarios. I find myself constantly assessing! I am 30, with no kids or husband, and I am still a bit overwhelmed at times. The good news, is that many schools offer a part time program, and/or summer classes. If you were to take 2 classes at a time, you might just have an easier time being both a good student, and paying enough attention to your family. I would really look into part-time, if I were in your position. I love nursing school, you will be amazed at how fast you grow. First semester can be a bear though, just be ready to give it all you've got :) Don't let other people's assumptions about you keep you down.