Administration okays family's mental abuse of staff

Published

Had a pt on our unit this week with a very mean family, especially daughter and wife. They were constantly throwing insults at the staff while they were caring for the pt and literally yelling at staff, calling them dirty, telling them anything they did was wrong, following them around nurses station yelling, etc. It was horribly stressful. The nursing staff were requesting not to have the pt back and by the end of the week pretty much everybody had to endure this abuse by the family. The staff bent over backward, went above and beyond to try to attain the impossible goal of making this family happy and to try and ensure they did not escalate their already out of hand behavior. At the end of the week, the nicest, most patient and understanding RN I have ever encountered had this pt/family. They even had her in tears and frustrated, which I never thought I would see. The charge Rn finally spoke with the wife, telling her the staff and her were on the same team, that we all wanted the best possible care for her husband and tried to explain there needed to be a better way to communicate with the staff.

Well, this caused all hell to break loose! The CEO was called, all sorts of family members showed up to yell some more. Two different "suits" showed up on the unit to make the family happy. None of the "suits" talked to the nurses. None of them asked what we had been going through. They just walked in the pt room, talked with the family and then walked off the unit and talked to the nursing supervisor who was given the task of telling the charge Rn that she and the staff had to basically "suck it up," do whatever they say, deal with them yelling at us and too bad for you guys.

I am so upset with the way administration handled this situation. I feel like the family had treated the nursing staff like 3rd-class citizens all week and the "higher-ups" agreed we are just that and gave them permission to continue their horrible behavior.

Thankfully, it is rare to have families or patients that are THIS bad. But, when it does happen, why is it ok to have your staff abused? Is the money this one pt brings in really worth your nursing staff being constantly mentally abused? There really needs to be something set in to place for the rare event of a pt/family so out of control. It is sad that they know they can treat the nursing staff as horribly as they want and they will be backed up by administration.

I really had to vent and don't think I have even gotten it all out :uhoh3:

I am so disappointed in the administration. This whole scenario that played out has me seriously considering looking for a new job, but I am doubtful there is any place that would actually stand up for their staff and not allow this abuse.

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Don't look for a new job based on this incident because the attitude of administration displayed here occurs in most facilities and occurs most of the time.

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What about the doctor?

I guess the doctor must have been good with it too.

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Specializes in LPN.

I wish I could tell you it's not unusual. At one time or another there will be another situation similar to that. Sometimes more than one at a time. I find I just do my work as quickly as I can and get out of the room. I try to school my face into a kind of a calm mask, and act like I am enjoying myself with them. But before I enter the room, you can bet, I have everything ready and completely thought out in order not to be in there any longer than necessary. I also remember something Joyce Meyers wrote in one of her books. You don't need to be responsible for another persons anger, and you should try not to allow it to find a nest in your heart. Easier said than done, but possible.

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Specializes in Developmental Disabilites,.

We had a similar situation at my hospital. The nurse manager and admin was trying to say it was a learning oppertunity and what can we do to make the family more satisfied. Well that backfired for them. The whole nursing staff was up in arms. We got HR involved. HR determined that the admin was creating a hostile work enviroment that encouraged the abuse of staff. Our NM was fired but nobody ever apolgized to the staff.

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Specializes in Med surg, LTC, Administration.

Sorry you feel betrayed by your administration. But, every corporate administration would have done and said, the very same thing. First off, residents are customers. Yes, you heard me right. I am not making this up, and I am not saying if I agree with this or not. It is, what it is. The family is a customer of your facility, and you are being paid to carry yourself per your companies policy. As my old boss used to say, "it ain't about you". We need to stop with our entitled, misbeliefs. We need to be professional in all situations and in order to do that, get some tough skin and remember, it is not about you, never was about you, and never will be about you. I know this post sounds mean and nasty, but then again, it is what it is.

I learned this the hard way many years ago. So I honestly know how you feel. You either have to accept some unpleasant things(and there are many) or leave. Better yet, do your job and never put your faith, trust, etc..into a company or organization. You will always get hurt. Peace!

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Specializes in med-surg, step-down, ICU/CCU, ED.
Sorry you feel betrayed by your administration. But, every corporate administration would have done and said, the very same thing. First off, residents are customers. Yes, you heard me right. I am not making this up, and I am not saying if I agree with this or not. It is, what it is. The family is a customer of your facility, and you are being paid to carry yourself per your companies policy. As my old boss used to say, "it ain't about you". We need to stop with our entitled, misbeliefs. We need to be professional in all situations and in order to do that, get some tough skin and remember, it is not about you, never was about you, and never will be about you. I know this post sounds mean and nasty, but then again, it is what it is.

I learned this the hard way many years ago. So I honestly know how you feel. You either have to accept some unpleasant things(and there are many) or leave. Better yet, do your job and never put your faith, trust, etc..into a company or organization. You will always get hurt. Peace!

Huh??I'm sorry but since when did being treated with respect get to be considered "entitled"??

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When did they start to treat indentured servants with respect?

That's about the way nurses are treated.

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Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.

I didn't realize not expecting to be abused at work was synonymous with having an "entitled" attitude. My, my, how conditions have degenerated for nurses since I graduated 25 years ago. Is this really how we support each other?

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Specializes in drug seekers and the incurably insane..

I'm so glad I found a part-time gig doing home health...actually it found me!! My last day at the LTC facility I'd been working at for a few years was last Tuesday. One of the reasons I left was because of how administration treats staff. I coped by keeping a "poker-face" in all situations at all times.

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Don't feel bad guys, it happens up here in Canada. The squeaky wheel gets the grease and all that.

Had a huge discussion about this with a friend of a friend the other day. She felt that she should be allowed to visit and comment on the care of a family member any time of the day or night in acute care. Told her we'd consider her the family from hell and get security to escort her off the ward.

Fortunately for us, security does come and will escort these family members from the floors. Then then complain to the administration, who tries to tell us to suck it up.

One family stands in mind. Unions were involved, they calmed down slightly. But the staff had it on record it wasn't them, it was the family.

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Specializes in BSc, ASN- RN, MBA.

There are patient bill of rights, what about a nurses bill of rights:

http://www.nursingworld.org/DocumentVault/NursingPractice/FAQs.aspx

The highlights...

  1. Nurses have the right to practice in a manner that fulfills their obligations to society and to those who receive nursing care.
  2. Nurses have the right to practice in environments that allow them to act in accordance with professional standards and legally authorized scopes of practice. Nurses have the right to a work environment that supports and facilitates ethical practice, in accordance with Code of Ethics for Nurses with Interpretive Statements.
  3. Nurses have the right to freely and openly advocate for themselves and their patients, without fear of retribution.
  4. Nurses have the right to fair compensation for their work, consistent with their educational preparation, knowledge, experience and professional responsibilities.
  5. Nurses have the right to a work environment that is safe for themselves and their patients.
  6. Nurses in all practice settings have the right to negotiate, either as individuals or collectively, the conditions of their employment.

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