Administration okays family's mental abuse of staff

[FoolsErrand]

Had a pt on our unit this week with a very mean family, especially daughter and wife. They were constantly throwing insults at the staff while they were caring for the pt and literally yelling at staff, calling them dirty, telling them anything they did was wrong, following them around nurses station yelling, etc. It was horribly stressful. The nursing staff were requesting not to have the pt back and by the end of the week pretty much everybody had to endure this abuse by the family. The staff bent over backward, went above and beyond to try to attain the impossible goal of making this family happy and to try and ensure they did not escalate their already out of hand behavior. At the end of the week, the nicest, most patient and understanding RN I have ever encountered had this pt/family. They even had her in tears and frustrated, which I never thought I would see. The charge Rn finally spoke with the wife, telling her the staff and her were on the same team, that we all wanted the best possible care for her husband and tried to explain there needed to be a better way to communicate with the staff.

Well, this caused all hell to break loose! The CEO was called, all sorts of family members showed up to yell some more. Two different "suits" showed up on the unit to make the family happy. None of the "suits" talked to the nurses. None of them asked what we had been going through. They just walked in the pt room, talked with the family and then walked off the unit and talked to the nursing supervisor who was given the task of telling the charge Rn that she and the staff had to basically "suck it up," do whatever they say, deal with them yelling at us and too bad for you guys.

I am so upset with the way administration handled this situation. I feel like the family had treated the nursing staff like 3rd-class citizens all week and the "higher-ups" agreed we are just that and gave them permission to continue their horrible behavior.

Thankfully, it is rare to have families or patients that are THIS bad. But, when it does happen, why is it ok to have your staff abused? Is the money this one pt brings in really worth your nursing staff being constantly mentally abused? There really needs to be something set in to place for the rare event of a pt/family so out of control. It is sad that they know they can treat the nursing staff as horribly as they want and they will be backed up by administration.

I really had to vent and don't think I have even gotten it all out

I am so disappointed in the administration. This whole scenario that played out has me seriously considering looking for a new job, but I am doubtful there is any place that would actually stand up for their staff and not allow this abuse.

[Popwhizbangz, LPN]

First point: the easiest, most efficient way to succeed in admin is take care of admin - customers come next, then line staff (essentially cogs in the big machine).

That's typical throughout health care and everywhere else, sad but true. We need to get used to it and learn how to deal with it, if we want to thrive. We must take care of each other and ourselves. Most reliable, effective remedy there is.

If managers help, that's great, but you can't rely on it, they have their own priorities and often know little of the real story - remember they work at a distance from clinical reality, they have no choice really, its inherent to their gig.

I've found it helpful to do anything you can to build confidence and moral strength - if you're doing right, know you're doing right, feel comfortable in your own skin and skills, you're much less vulnerable to unreasonable criticism & abuse. It just doesn't affect you as much. I've become able, after years of working at it, to ignore it entirely most of the time, another clinical problem among many. Feels better and helps you resolve these snafus better. I address it without feeling it, if that makes sense.

On the other hand, I also often agree with folks' criticism - of myself and the system. I apologize, do my best to make it better and move on.

There's an awful lot in health care for an reasonable person to feel angry or frustrated about (I sure do), and with honest agreement I've dissolved many a fuss.

Remember this - everyone working with people, anywhere, has to deal with unpleasantries, anger, unfair criticism, etc. Sad but quite true. The better you learn to navigate these waters, the better off you are, wherever you go, in or out of health care.

Many of the same skills that work best with patients are also those that wok best with ANYONE.

Good luck, I know just how tough it is, been through more abuse than most. They haven't beaten me down yet

[Popwhizbangz, LPN]

There are patient bill of rights, what about a nurses bill of rights:

http://www.nursingworld.org/DocumentVault/NursingPractice/FAQs.aspx

The highlights...

1. Nurses have the right to practice in a manner that fulfills their obligations to society and to those who receive nursing care.
   
2. Nurses have the right to practice in environments that allow them to act in accordance with professional standards and legally authorized scopes of practice. Nurses have the right to a work environment that supports and facilitates ethical practice, in accordance with Code of Ethics for Nurses with Interpretive Statements.
   
3. Nurses have the right to freely and openly advocate for themselves and their patients, without fear of retribution.
   
4. Nurses have the right to fair compensation for their work, consistent with their educational preparation, knowledge, experience and professional responsibilities.
   
5. Nurses have the right to a work environment that is safe for themselves and their patients.
   
6. Nurses in all practice settings have the right to negotiate, either as individuals or collectively, the conditions of their employment.
   

'Should's are important and valuable.

But they don't make it so.

Only we, together and individually can make it so.

Without adequate persistent effort, there would still be slavery in the U.S. Women wouldn't have the right to vote. We'd all still be British. And on and on.

My point? We can't rest on 'should's.

If we are to benefit, 'should's must be forged into 'are's, and no one will do it for us.

[MassED, BSN, RN]

When did they start to treat indentured servants with respect?

That's about the way nurses are treated.

indentured servant: a young, unskilled laborer

how is an RN in any way defined as an indentured servant?

You will be treated as you CHOOSE to be treated. When you want respect, you will get it. Period. Choose not to be mistreated, stand up for yourself and your coworkers. That is what we have to do to be treated with respect. Patients and visitors may not understand what we do, but don't tolerate emotional/verbal abuse. Ever. Admin can deal with that. There's no policy anywhere that states you have to tolerate any type of abuse. I'd like to see management anywhere try. As long as you're respectful, you cannot be wrong to do what is right.

[Mrs. Sparkle Pants]

Unfortunately this is going to be the norm in any customer service oriented profession.

[OCNRN63, RN]

indentured servant: a young, unskilled laborer

how is an RN in any way defined as an indentured servant?

You will be treated as you CHOOSE to be treated. When you want respect, you will get it. Period. Choose not to be mistreated, stand up for yourself and your coworkers. That is what we have to do to be treated with respect. Patients and visitors may not understand what we do, but don't tolerate emotional/verbal abuse. Ever. Admin can deal with that. There's no policy anyway that states you have to tolerate any type of abuse. I'd like to see management anywhere try. As long as you're respectful, you cannot be wrong to do what is right.

I agree. But you have a PP who is an admin. stating that nurses who expect to be treated with respect are "entitled" and need to learn how to put up with the abuse because "it isn't about you." You can hardly win for losing when people with this sort of mind-set are in charge.

[Popwhizbangz, LPN]

Indentured servants, if i remember correctly, were basically slaves for a set period of time, in order to pay for some product or service. I have ancestors who were indentured servants in Georgia, it paid for the ride over.

[belgarion]

When did they start to treat indentured servants with respect?

That's about the way nurses are treated.

If you really read the post instead of just reacting to it, she does NOT say nurses ARE indentured servants. What she actually says is that nurses are TREATED LIKE indentured servants. Big difference in semantics and unfortunately true in many places.

[aileenve, ASN, RN]

This is typical of hospital nursing at any given time, you will have pts and family members who have no respect for anyone and feel verbal abuse and demanding, demeaning attitudes are "what you get paid for"...I once went outside for a break and a famiy member saw me and said "Look at that nurse, she should be taking care of her patients instead of sitting out here!

[VICEDRN, BSN, RN]

We had a similar situation at my hospital. The nurse manager and admin was trying to say it was a learning oppertunity and what can we do to make the family more satisfied. Well that backfired for them. The whole nursing staff was up in arms. We got HR involved. HR determined that the admin was creating a hostile work enviroment that encouraged the abuse of staff. Our NM was fired but nobody ever apolgized to the staff.

My background before nursing was legal (paralegal) and I was just about to say "contact HR re creation of hostile work environment"

Agree that it is common but that doesn't make it acceptable.

[rkitty198, BSN, RN]

I am surprised by the lack of support here.

It is NOT okay that the staff were made to look like the ones who ignited the fire of the families abuse.

I would think that if any abuse occurs, mental or physical, the members of the family should be removed from the patients room and either be allowed to come back (after a set time has elapsed) and if they continue to escalate their abusive behavior then they should not be able to come back period and banned from the facility!

I am not sure who you go to, but I would keep a notebook of times the abuse occurs and file some sort of charges with the police. Everyone who has this patient needs to document! Document in the nurses noting as well. Use quotes!

How awful!

[Chin up]

Huh??I'm sorry but since when did being treated with respect get to be considered "entitled"??

The post was pure sarcasm. I guess being so close to the truth, it was missed. Sorry!

[wooh, BSN, RN]

I'm lucky to have a manager now that supports the staff, but it has to be REALLY REALLY BAD first. And well, it has to happen to someone that's considered to be ALWAYS sweet. The other day I remember one of our "sweet little" nurses telling us about a horrible visitor. Charge nurse offered to talk to them. I told the charge, "Of course if it happened to me, you'd ask, 'What did you do to them?'"

If it reached THAT point, I'd like to say that I'd go to HR. In reality I'd just sit at the nurse's station and b**** and moan about the suits. :)

If there's nobody in between the direct patient care staff and the suits that will go to bat for the staff, it's pretty hopeless though. Generally at that point, you just end up with staff that are fed up enough that they try to get the family to refuse to let them back in the room. Luckily I've turned around enough unhappy families that when I get "fired" from a room, it balances out and I don't get fired from my job.