Had a pt on our unit this week with a very mean family, especially daughter and wife. They were constantly throwing insults at the staff while they were caring for the pt and literally yelling at staff, calling them dirty, telling them anything they did was wrong, following them around nurses station yelling, etc. It was horribly stressful. The nursing staff were requesting not to have the pt back and by the end of the week pretty much everybody had to endure this abuse by the family. The staff bent over backward, went above and beyond to try to attain the impossible goal of making this family happy and to try and ensure they did not escalate their already out of hand behavior. At the end of the week, the nicest, most patient and understanding RN I have ever encountered had this pt/family. They even had her in tears and frustrated, which I never thought I would see. The charge Rn finally spoke with the wife, telling her the staff and her were on the same team, that we all wanted the best possible care for her husband and tried to explain there needed to be a better way to communicate with the staff.
Well, this caused all hell to break loose! The CEO was called, all sorts of family members showed up to yell some more. Two different "suits" showed up on the unit to make the family happy. None of the "suits" talked to the nurses. None of them asked what we had been going through. They just walked in the pt room, talked with the family and then walked off the unit and talked to the nursing supervisor who was given the task of telling the charge Rn that she and the staff had to basically "suck it up," do whatever they say, deal with them yelling at us and too bad for you guys.
I am so upset with the way administration handled this situation. I feel like the family had treated the nursing staff like 3rd-class citizens all week and the "higher-ups" agreed we are just that and gave them permission to continue their horrible behavior.
Thankfully, it is rare to have families or patients that are THIS bad. But, when it does happen, why is it ok to have your staff abused? Is the money this one pt brings in really worth your nursing staff being constantly mentally abused? There really needs to be something set in to place for the rare event of a pt/family so out of control. It is sad that they know they can treat the nursing staff as horribly as they want and they will be backed up by administration.
I really had to vent and don't think I have even gotten it all out
I am so disappointed in the administration. This whole scenario that played out has me seriously considering looking for a new job, but I am doubtful there is any place that would actually stand up for their staff and not allow this abuse.
Sorry you feel betrayed by your administration. But, every corporate administration would have done and said, the very same thing. First off, residents are customers. Yes, you heard me right. I am not making this up, and I am not saying if I agree with this or not. It is, what it is. The family is a customer of your facility, and you are being paid to carry yourself per your companies policy. As my old boss used to say, "it ain't about you". We need to stop with our entitled, misbeliefs. We need to be professional in all situations and in order to do that, get some tough skin and remember, it is not about you, never was about you, and never will be about you. I know this post sounds mean and nasty, but then again, it is what it is.
I learned this the hard way many years ago. So I honestly know how you feel. You either have to accept some unpleasant things(and there are many) or leave. Better yet, do your job and never put your faith, trust, etc..into a company or organization. You will always get hurt. Peace!
EVERYONE IS ENTITLED (Yes, I said entitled) TO BE RESPECTED AND TREATED DECENTLY WHEN THEY ARE DOING A JOB. Period.
There should be no discussion of IF it should be done. And people who hold your particular view of those they manage wonder why on earth turnover is so high and no one wants to work in their facility.....'customers' do NOT have the right to do whatever they want to do to whomever they feel like doing it to, no matter how much 'money' they bring in. Yes, the reality is that those in power don't care anything at all about those who work for them, but that doesn't make it ok or right. They will also find that the care in their facility will become substandard as they continue to belittle the importance of their staff and lose more of them.
I don't think it says 'be abused daily and smile while it's happening' in anyone's contract, so NO I don't have to bend over and take it. I can refuse a patient or make a stink about it. Yes, I can also lose my job, but I'd rather walk. There are other places I can work that are better. At least we both agree that leaving is an option.
LOL dont you just love Nursing, Where else can you go to work and get peed on, pooped on, yelled at, cussed at, hit by drunks and drug users, told you are an idiot and then have your hospital admin. agree against you.
Some of the lines I use:
"HIPAA laws require me to protect my patients privacy and thus I will have to ask you to leave while I provide care."
"Im sorry, but you are being disruptive to the other patients and staff, please don't make me call security, I don't want to be the bad guy here."
If they really push my buttons.
"Please, Im not here to be yelled at or abused, if you continue I will be forced to call the police and have you arrested for harassment, and maam/sir I will press charges"
and I swear to god... I will press charges.
I never stand for abuse, while I'm providing care for their loved one... I don't get paid to be abused and will not tolerate it no matter what administration says.
I assume no one in administration has ever singled you out for this.... which says to me.... I don't care what you (the family) does as long as I (administration) no longer have to hear it...
That is to bad, we have a policy that has been enforced (on rare occasions) that will discharge people from our services if they are abusive to staff (mentally or physically) That doesn't me we don't take extremely challenging situations and give some leeway but they certainly have stuck by the policy. which you facility did the same
Indentured servants, if i remember correctly, were basically slaves for a set period of time, in order to pay for some product or service. I have ancestors who were indentured servants in Georgia, it paid for the ride over.
The modern nursing equivalent is agreeing to work at a facility for a set time in exchange for free or cheap tuition. I found it better to pay off the balance rather than continue at a poorly managed facility. Money is almost always a good trade for peace of mind.
I really think that members of the public who want to behave like this i.e. getting abusive when their loved one doesn't get one to one nursing care SHOULD BE FORCED to pay for one to one nursing care.
The other night my colleague commenced a dressing change. As soon as she started her other patient unexpectedly arrested. She heard the emergency alarm and ran to the code. The dressing change patient ****** and moaned about how they were "left" and said that they were going to complain. This was even after they were told that their Nurse's other patient was critically ill. IF that is the kind of care that they want management should tell them to pay for their own private duty nurse.
This is not uncommon at some points in your nursing career you're going to have these issues. However, it sounds like what you went through with this was ridiculous. Personally if I had a family member following me around and yelling at me, I'd call my nurse manager and ask if I could call the police...seriously. Mainly I would do it because I do work nights part time and there is just me and two other staff members and for me that's not safe for my staff and I, the patient concerned, or the other patients.
Management sucks, they dont' want to get sued, they don't want trouble.
I wouldn't quit over this, really, what are the odds of something this similar and that bad happening again .
No, it is not alright for staff to be abused. The 'suits' should've talked with the nursing staff as well to get both sides of the story.
When we have had family members like this in ICU, it has helped to get the social worker involved.
I think the fact that they did not say a word to us is what, in fact, upsets me the most at this point. He didn't even look in the direction of the nurses station at all when coming to or leaving the unit. I really think he should have talked to staff and asked what had been happening and gotten our perspective. I know for sure that one Rn called in the day after having that pt because she was so mentally drained, upset and anxious over the prospect of having the pt back.
Unfortunately, our social worker would be of no help. I am going to talk to my manager about this situation and get her insight. We do have rude/mean, etc pt and families unfortunately too often, but I swear these people took it to another level.
morphed
230 Posts
Oops, saw it was meant to be sarcastic